Love and Hate

Wish i was dreaming.

How do you feel when you lose your father and people are trooping into your house not to pay a visit but to give their condolences.

After waking up at the hospital I haven't shed a single  tear because I still believe that he's still alive, he probably told the doctor to lie to us.
Maybe he needed to fix something and he just couldn't think of a better way to do it. I wish that was the case.
"You have to eat" I can't count how many times Mira has asked me to eat in the last two weeks. I'm loosing weight and my eyes look tired. I can't even look in the mirror.
I haven't talked to anyone in two weeks too and I haven't left my room either.
Somehow i wish Myles would come and see me.
Nathan walked in and took in my appearance and a look of pity masked his face. I don't want pity.
He asked Mira if i had eaten and she told  him no, I wasn't expecting this but he sat close to me and took my hand in his.
"Hey Bella" he was waiting for an answer but i only kept my eyes away from him.
" I know you feel pain and no one in this room can understand your pain, we don't know what you are going through but we understand that you're angry and in pain. Someone killed your father and he's out there living his life the way he wants and he just put your family in grieve, you can't let him win Bella, you are strong and there's nothing you can't take. You wouldn't be doing yourself any good if you keep starving yourself, and I'm sure your dad wouldn't want you to starve yourself"

That's true,  dad doesn't like the idea of me starving.
"You have to do this for your dad and your mum. You have to be strong, please Bella"
I don't know why but i just burst into tears and Nathan held me in his arms.
I cried my eyes out and I promised myself that I would find who killed my dad and kill him including everyone responsible. I'm not weak.
Someone just woke the beast.