(Sin)namon Rolls

Chapter 16: Hot Stuff

A/N: alright this one's pretty wild for a couple reasons:
• it's from bakugo's perspective
• things get a lil nsfw oopsie
• it's pure crack lol
enjoy :) (or skip if item #2 in the above list isn't your jam)
•••
     The shit I put up with for that damn nerd.
     I hated theme parks. Deku asked me to take him to Universal Studios. I said, "Hell yes," and bought tickets.
      I hated camping. Deku started going on about a nIgHt uNdEr tHe sTaRs, and I got my ass out to the woods.
     I hated shitty animated movies. Deku said, "Let's have a night in... Y'know, we can cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie... cuddle up in your bed and do other things..." I said, "Yes, your highness. Anything you want, oh glorious Deku."
     He failed to mention that the movie was about a talking fucking cartoon bee. What the hell was I supposed to do? His stupid heavy Deku body was on top of me. It wasn't like I could get up when his fat head was on my chest. Maybe I was a little comfortable but that was only because of his body heat. I didn't give a shit about how aggravatingly cute he looked trying to keep his eyes open as he fell asleep in my arms.
     "Deku," I whispered because I couldn't speak normally with the weight on my torso not because I cared about disturbing him.
     "Yes, dear?"
     "I hate this movie."
     "Mmhm."
     "Are you even listening?"
     "...Mmhm."
     I watched Deku's eyelids close. His face softened. Who was I fucking kidding? He looked like an angel. A soft, green, sleepy angel.
     I suffered through the Bee Movie. I watched the Bee Movie for that motherfucker.
     Some time after that shit was over with, I started to drift off myself.
    Then my goddamn phone rang.
     I yanked it off the coffee table to send the call to voicemail and threw it back down.
     A couple minutes later, it rang again. I accepted the call this time.
     "What?!" I hissed as loudly as I possibly could without waking my sleeping boyfriend.
     "Hey, Bakugo! How ya been, man?"
     What the hell? Is that...?
     "Dunce Face?"
     "So close! It's actually pronounced, Kaminari. You'll get it one of these days."
     "Why are you fucking calling? I'm busy right now."
     "Oh, my bad. Well, uh... remember how we were in a band together in high school?"
     "No."
     "Wait, seriously? You don't remember?"
     "No, I remember. But I can tell that you're about to ask something dumb and I'm saying no in advance."
     "Look, just hear me out, okay? Please?"
     Arguing was noisier than not arguing.
     "Fine."
     "Yes! Okay, so, here's the thing. We're doing a gig on Valentine's Day, right? And, uh, you and that Midoriya guy are, like, the couple right now. So, we were thinking... if there was a chance you and your man could make an appearance—"
     "Nope."
     "Aw, c'mon! Bakugo, please! I'm begging you. I'm literally begging you. I'll pay you. How much money do you want?"
     "Seven billion yen."
     "What about forty bucks?"
     Deku stirred.
     "Hell no. I'm not doing it. I gotta go, Dunce Face."
     "But—!"
     I hung up and tossed my phone to the ground. Deku opened his eyes.
     The noise must've woken him up... damn it. Nice work, Katsuki.
     "Were you just on the phone with someone?" he asked.
     "Yeah. Nothing important."
     "Who was it?"
     "This dumbass I went to high school with."
     "What did they want?"
     "I used to be in a band with him. He wants me to come to their gig on the fourteenth. Probably sing or some shit."
     Deku flopped over onto his stomach and scooted up. His already massive eyes were even more bug-like than usual.
     "You were in a band?!"
     "Yeah..."
     "And you can sing?!"
     "I guess."
     Deku sat up in my lap.
     "Oh, my god. You have to do it. Please, Kacchan. I wanna hear you sing so bad. That'd be the best Valentine's Day present ever." He gasped. "Can I sing with you? I wanna sing with you. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Kacchan, honey, sweetheart, my sexy heroic boyfriend, what can I do to get you to let me do this?"
     Look at me like that and I'll give you the world.
     "You really want this?"
     "Yes!"
      I sighed. "I'll call him back."
     Deku squealed like the little girl he was and kissed me like the sex machine he somehow also was.
     I called Dunce Face to tell him Deku and I would do a song with his shitty band. His reaction was oddly similar to Deku's.
     "Can you even sing?" I asked afterwards.
     "I can show you."
     "Oh, you're gonna sing to me, are you?"
     "Mmhm."
     Deku straightened up and smiled at me in a jarringly un-Deku-like manner.
     "You had plenty money in 1922..."
     Oh, fuck me.
     "...You let other women make a fool of you. Why don't you do right... like some other men do? Get out of here, get me some money too..."
      I didn't have goosebumps. I also wasn't blushing. I definitely wasn't turned on. Fuck no. Not me.
     "You want me to keep going?" he asked with a laugh.
     "Uh-huh."
      Deku climbed off of me. He picked up a TV remote from the coffee table. I moved my feet from the couch to the floor.
     Deku turned around, remote in hand as if it were a microphone. Overdramatic bitch.
     "You're sittin' down wonderin' what it's all about," he continued more loudly than before. "If you ain't got no money they will put you out. Why don't you do right like some other men do? Get out of here, get me some money too."
      He stopped to wink at me. I shivered against my will.
     "If you had prepared twenty years ago, you wouldn't be wanderin' now from door to door. Why don't you do right like some other men do? Get out of here, get me some money too. ...Get out of here, get me some money too. Why don't you do right... like some other men... do?"
    The song up to that point had been quiet and whisper-y, but Deku belted out that last line. For a wimpy dork, he had some fucking pipes.
     "How was that?" he asked.
     "Hot as fuck."
     "No, I mean, how was the singing?"
     "Did you hear me? Hot as fuck."
     "Does that mean I can do it?"
     "Hell yeah it does."
•••
     We had a week to prepare. Deku and I met with Dunce Face the day after he called me to get details on plans and shit like that. We had a rehearsal with the band the night before the show. Neither of us were worried about not being prepared enough. That song was fucking easy.
    Alien Girl told us there were wArDrObE rEqUiReMeNtS for the performance. There hadn't been shit like that when I was in that dumbass band. Those "requirements" turned out to be obnoxious cheesy outfits and eyeliner for god knows what reason.
     She also forced me to style my hair the way I'd had it for the press conference. One fucking song. I agreed to do one fucking song and I was being groomed like a dog.
      I was waiting downstairs in the living room for Deku to finish getting ready. I couldn't even sit comfortably in the tight ass black jeans those idiots made me wear. The plain t-shirt - also black because those dumb bitches were fucking emo as shit - was at least a size too small for me. I looked ridiculous.
     But Deku...
     When he came down those stairs, I just about lost my shit. Our get-ups weren't too different. He had the same black jeans. Same stupid smokey-eye bullshit. But they put him in a white and black striped button up that he decided to leave mostly open instead of a boring ass t-shirt. His hair was wilder than usual.
     I whistled. Deku smiled shyly.
     Even dressed like that he was still a fuckin' dork.
     He stepped off the stairs and crossed over to me.
     "You look amazing," he said.
     "You look like an e-boy."
     "An e-boy?"
     "In a good way. You look fuckin'... god damn, Izuku."
     He chuckled. "Right back atcha, hot stuff."
•••
     I'd grown sick as hell of backstage areas by that point, but this was different. It was... exciting. The concert was held in a large-bar-meets-small-stadium sort of place. It had a big ass stage and a huge indoor seating area - filled to near capacity thanks to the announcement of Deku and I showing up as guest singers.
     Our number was up first, sort of like an opening act. The lights went down. The crowd started to cheer.
     "Knock 'em dead, baby," I said.
     "See you in a sec," Deku replied.
    He walked on and stopped behind the microphone at center.
     Dunce Face was on guitar. Octopus Arms was on drums. Alien Girl was on keys. Bird Boy, also on guitar. Tape Arms on bass. All of them except Octopus Arms had mics propped up in front of them so they could supply backup vocals.
     Octopus Arms hit out a four count with his drumsticks. The lights came up as they kicked off the song. The audience went fucking apeshit. As they damn well should have. My boyfriend was about to kick their fucking asses with his beautiful voice.
      Alien Girl came in with the staple synth-y organ part. The crowd hadn't simmered down in the slightest. I was okay with that. Everyone in that room's voices should be shot by the end of the song including mine.
    Deku started to sing.
     "Sittin' here eatin' my heart out waitin'
Waitin' for some lover to call
Dialed about a thousand numbers lately
Almost rang the phone off the wall."
     That's my man. That's my fucking man. That man you fuckers are screaming for? Mine.
     "Lookin' for some hot stuff, baby, this evenin'
I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight
I want some hot stuff, baby, this evenin'
Gotta have some hot stuff
Gotta have some love tonight."
     Oh, he'd get some fucking love tonight. I can tell you that much. He may have been able to throw those hips around then but he sure as hell wouldn't be able to do that shit tomorrow.
     Deku was having the time of his life. He really was. I hadn't seen him that happy since he was a little kid. That was my Deku on that stage. Not that weird new guy who came back after four years with short hair and a six-pack. That was my Deku... my Izuku.
     "I need hot stuff
I want some hot stuff
I need hot stuff."
     Each "hot stuff" was sung in unison with the mic-ed band members.
     The audience was jumping around now. Deku had no idea the power he had over the people in that room. I was far from the only one who'd fuck that man.
     "Lookin' for a lover who needs another
Don't want another night on my own
Wanna share my love with a warm blooded lover
Wanna bring a wild man back home