The Story Of Renee

Chapter Six

Session 4 Tuesday march 10 2014

Renée

"Ms.Woods the doctor is ready to see you now." The receptionist said while smiling at me. "Thank you." I got up and made my way towards the back. I walked in and Mrs.Quimby was bent over getting something out of the bottom part of her cabint. I shut the door quietly and sat down. About 30 seconds later she turned and acknowledged me. "Hi Ms. Woods welcome back, sorry for the delay." "No problem." I responded. She took a deep breath and sat down. "Ok last week we left off on your father........sooo did you take my advice?" I sat there and for a second and felt a smile creep across my face. "As a matter of fact I did............I took your advice and you weren't wrong. Calling him did change things alot. We even met up for dinner yesterday night." She beamed at me as if my happiness made her happy. "Really, I'm so glad you took that first step, how did the dinner go?" She questioned and I remembered how rocky the dinner started off "At first it was horrible. I mean we sat in silence for the longest and I couldnt even bring myself to look at him. At the moment I felt like if I was to look at him all the memories and moments when I was upset or cried over him not being there would just come flowing back and that would've only made me mad. So, naturally I just ignored him and waited for him to speak." I said while shrugging my shoulders. "Ok so after he took the first initiative to speak what happened?" She asked. "Well like I said at first I was ignoring him a little bit even while he was speaking I answered his questions with short and simple replies and kept it basic. Once he realized that I wasn't opening up much he just put it all on the table. He told me that when he left my mom he had no idea that she was pregnant he told me why he left her and he told me that he still and will always love her. After explaining to me that he blames himself for my mothers death and that he tried to get custody of me and my sister he came down from New york to late and my uncle had already signed for full rights over us. And the sad part is all this time I thought he rejected me and my sister and I felt as if he broke my heart but in all actual reality me and my sister broke his. Mrs.Quimby when I tell you the man was in tears I mean he was in tears. He made me feel bad for not allowing him into my life for all these years." My voice began to crack, I felt like crying right now. "Its ok Renée take your time." Mrs. Quimby said trying to console me "Quimby I feel like I was wrong....all these years he actually could have been in my life, and wasn't. Thats my fault. I didnt even give him a chance." I said. Now I'm really crying. Quimby grabs a box a tissues sits next to me and hands them to me. "Its ok Renée you were young you didn't know. All you knew was daddy wasn't there. You felt rejected and that can be hard on kids so it's only natural that you rejected him. So go easy on yourself it was not your fault. Just be glad that now as an adult your eyes are willing to open up and see that he wants to be there for you and now you can be happy because you know the truth. Now you guys can move foward together and let go of the past." Those eight words were like time its self slowed down just for me to process and understand what I have to do next. I have to let go and move foward. Not just from this but from everything I've ever been through in life. "Your right and its amazing because when he opened up to me during dinner, this void I felt in my heart was filled. Sort of like a peice of my heart was sewen back together and you know when you sew something you can see the stitching?" I looked up at her for a response and She nodded her head yes as a reply. "Well thats what it feels like its been stitched back up but you can still see the stitchings sort of like a scare. It will fade but it will always be there. That represents my heart the stitchs are my feelings and they've been mended together but the scare or pain of him not being their will fade but the memories will always be there." Mrs.Quimby smiled at me "And you know what thats a good metaphor for how you feel it could also be a metaphore for your life. You've been broken you've been torn but you always stitch yourself back up and the pain fades but the memory which is the scare will always be there." I shook my head in agreement and smiled "Your a smart women Quimby. I like that." We laughed together at my comment. I felt a lot better. I went in my purse and grabed a wet wipe to wipe my face of the dried up tears. "We have two minutes left. So what I want you to do is everyday continue on your relationship with your father, make things better. Also create something, anything, that defines you and your life. A reprensintation of yourself then bring it in for our next meeting." After she said that I stoped to think. "Ok...............................Sounds fun." I stood up and so did Mrs.Quimby she walked me to the door and instead of shaking my hand like usual. She gave me a hug. "Bye Quimby see you next session!" I said while walking out of her office.