Colin Sanchez: Hello YouTube! Welcome to yet another hilarious video. Before we start make sure you subscribe and hit the thumbs up button (and if u hate our guest, please press the thumbs down button and I'll show him and he'll know how bad and hideous he is). And today, we have a special guest joining us. David Luiz!
In an English accent: Hello, everyone. I'm...
Colin Sanchez: A clown with tragic and hilarious hair from a pathetic circus. Also known as the most hideous living thing. Not to mention the fact that he plays like he ain't living on the pitch!
David Luiz (in a high pitched voice): Hey! That's offensive you big nosed... big nosed... thing?
Colin Sanchez: Haha. Very funny, Luiz. Very funny. That's the weirdest insult I have ever heard. Coz it seems like it's a compliment to me. My idol Muller's nose is kind of big. In a handsome way of course. like me.
David Luiz: Hahaha! Very funny, you pathetic comedian.
Colin Sanchez: *pulls Luiz's hair* Well it's time for an inspirational speech. Guys, whenever you feel you're ugly, remind yourself: This clown over here will always be the most hideous creature that has ever existed. *squeezes Luiz's nose*
honk
David Luiz: Hey! That's the most offensive insult I've ever heard! And stop pulling my hair!
Colin Sanchez: *interrupts* Thanks for the compliment.
David Luiz: ...
Colin Sanchez: Roasted! BOOM!
David Luiz: Oh man.
Colin Sanchez: There there David. It's not the first time you got roasted.
David Luiz: I guess so.
Colin Sanchez: After all, you get roasted by your opponents every time you play a football match.
David Luiz: Alright that's it! I quit.
Colin Sanchez: Good luck in the Europa League next season! And also, give me some of your honey when you come visit me next time!
Luiz: What honey?
Colin: You seem to be stuck in either honey or treacle when you play on the pitch.
Luiz: *slams door*
Colin: Ah speaking of the Europa League, goodbye, Wolves! That's for beating Man Shi...
Me: Points gun at Colin.
Colin Sanchez: Man City... *whispers* actually I kinda like Wolves for beating City... And for United, it'd be nice if Bruno Fernandes misses the next match due to injuries. *Looks at script* Wait... I take it back. Even if United don't have Bruno, they're still gonna win coz they are playing Sevilla in the semis. But if Bruno misses the final, United might lose to Inter.
Me: *interrupts* Of course not you f***ing moron! United might lose to Sevilla coz they have won it the most times! Fun fact: they have won it 3 times in a row, year 2014, 2015 and 2016. Just like Real in the UCL. Who are bloody out of the Champions League this year thanks to City! Muhahahahaha! Oh and by the way, here are my predictions for the UCL quarter finals:
Atalanta 2 : 3 PSG (PSG through) (tho this really is hard to predict)
Leipzig 0 : 2 Atletico Madrid (Atleti through) (goals from Morata and Costa)
Barcelona 2 : 4 Bayern (Bayern through) (with goals from Lewandowski and assist from Muller)
Man City 3 : 1 Lyon (City through) (with goals from Sterling and Jesus and assist from De Bruyne)
AND CUT!
THE END.
Colin: No! Wait wait. Lemme predict.
Atalanta 3 : 2 PSG
Leipzig 0 : 1 Atletico Madrid
Barcelona 1 : 5 Bayern (HAHAHA)
Man City 0 : 5 Lyon
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA City lose 5:0
Me: -_-
AND CUT! (for real)
Not the end of the book of course.
YOU ARE READING
Crappy Jokes
RandomThis will be a book about different jokes such as trolling others, roasting others, pranking others and more. Also, this will mostly be written by @ManCityPremierLeague. If you guys have any more jokes, tell us privately. YEET! Might contain violenc...
