/29/ Vita Ars

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/29/ VITA ARS

Boast not thyself
of tomorrow, for thou
knowest not what a day
may bring forth.

- Proverbs 27:1

- Proverbs 27:1

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KHEL'S POV

Following days came by blink of an eye.

After cremating my aunt's body, binigay sa'kin ang abo nito sa loob ng isang puting urn. I keep the urn with care, then brought it to the Manila bay.

I was wearing all black, carrying my aunt's urn, as I stood beside the shoreline. Wind blows softly and swept my messy hair. Niyakap ko ang urn, saka tinanaw ang langit at dagat mula sa'king kinatatayuan.

It's a cloudy day.

The atmosphere seems calm, yet gloomy. I saw a flock of birds afar to the sea's surface. When the sun is slowly descending down the horizon, the entire sky was washed with faded orange and blue.

Binuksan ko ang urn na hawak ko, saka kinuha ang abo mula sa loob nito at isinaboy sa ere. Then the air caught the ashes and swayed by the wind. My entire face was blank while doing it. I felt my heart hardened. I feel nothing but emptiness.

Throwing the cremented ashes to the air means freeing the spirit of someone's death. At least that was the traditional meaning of it. But if that tradition is true, though it's a ridiculous belief, I still wish for my aunt's spirit to be free.

So, again, I shoved ashes from the urn and tossed it to the air. I watch how the ashes were washed through the wind just as the waves washed through the bay.

Be free, Auntie Kyla. Wherever you are. If there's such thing as afterlife... Be free.

***

The next day, after mourning overnight, I finally decided to wake myself up. Hindi ako mabubuhay kung puro pagmumukmok lang ang gagawin ko. I gotta continue living, if that's what it takes to fill the emptiness on my chest.

First thing first, I dropped school and was hired for a job.


Hindi na 'ko pwedeng mag-aral. I must focus for my financial state. Kailang kong magtrabaho para magkapera. Pambayad sa pagkain, sa kuryente, sa tubig, at sa bahay ni auntie kung sa'n ako nakatira.

By morning, I immediately dressed myself decently, with a polo and slacks and shoes and a nameplate with words like these: "Hi, I'm Khel, welcome to our cafe!"

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