Single, but not alone

God gave man a godly relationship

And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." - Genesis 2:18 

The first human type of relationship that existed was a godly relationship. Right from the beginning, we already see the standard of a godly relationship. Eve met Adam in the presence of God. Adam didn't have to leave the presence of God to find a companion, he stayed in the presence of God. Sometimes we leave Church and go the bush to look for a relationship and later say that we'd change the person. That's a dangerous move. Meet your partner in the presence of God. If he/she doesn't like God, they are not for you.

The different kinds of Love 

The ancient Greeks used four different words for love- phileo, storge, eros and agape. In the New Testament, there's usually only two that are used, phileo and Agape. To understand what love is, we have to understand the author of love. God is love. Love is not sex. Love is not feelings. Love is God. God is love. 

Storge is love that normally exists between family members. It's a beautiful type of love. It's natural for siblings to love each other and tolerate one another. Storge inspires all of that. 

Phileo is love that exists between friends. The affection that you have for your friend would be referred to as phileo. 

Eros is sexual love or love that has romantic feelings. Sexual love without Divine love in a marriage is just lust. The need to want to have sex is controlled by chemical reactions and interactions within the body. It is driven by the flesh. It seeks to gratify the flesh. Being driven by sexual love marks your partner as an object of sex. Which is just selfish, demeaning and insulting.  Most times this type of love is sensual and has nothing to do with true love. Don't have sex because your boyfriend told you he loved you. He might genuinely love you but if he connects love to having sex with you, he's changed the meaning of pure love. 

The highest kind of love 

The reason I wrote a bit on the other types of love is because I want to introduce to you the highest kind of love you will ever receive. If you want to get into a more detailed study of the the types of love I described, you can just google that. But I was merely trying to arrive here. Now that we are here, let's talk about the highest kind of love you can possible ever receive. 

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends. - John 15:13 (NKJV)

Agape love is divine love. Love that God gives. Agape knows no boundaries. Agape knows no limits. Agape is selfless love. Agape acts first and foremost for the good and welfare of others. Eros is selfish love. It is centered around what you want. But Agape is selfless love. 

There is no higher love than the love of God. God's love is the highest degree of love. There was no reason for God to send His only begotten Son to us. Agape love is not one of feelings but one of a choice. God chose to send His son to die for us. He didn't feel a mere obligation to sending His Son to us, He chose to send Him. 

When somebody chooses to love you, I think they are in a way fulfilling the love of God in their lives. Love people because you choose to. Don't love because you are family and because you have siblings, you are obligated to loving them. Choose to love your Dad. Choose to love your mom. Choose to love your siblings and all your relatives. 

He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. - 1 John 4:8 (NKJV)

God expects us to love with Agape love. Phileo is an amazing type of love but it also has its limits. Storge is amazing. But it also has it's limits. I am not even going to get into Eros right now. God wants us to love people with His love. The bible says, " He who does not love does not know God." In other words, how could you say you loved a sister or a brother without experiencing the love of God? Any kind of love that is not Divine is limited. Because Jesus loves us, He died for us. He chose to die for us. He didn't do it because He was afraid He'd disappoint His Father; He died because He wanted to. Do you understand that nothing could ever kill Jesus? He actually chose to die. Who does that? If not for the divine love He has. 

I love you and want to have sex with you 

How many of you ever heard this expression? Or how many of you ever told a girl you loved her and wanted to have sex with her? How many of you were ever told you were beautiful and immediately the guy made sexual suggestions to you? 

In popular culture, you will be told that sex is beautiful when it's done out of love and in a committed relationship between any two people who are dating. But no! That's not what the Bible says. Sex is beautiful when it satisfies the conditions that God designed for it; in Holy matrimony. 

In 2012, I managed to bring a girl to my room. My parents were not home. She happened to be my girlfriend. And we never planned to have sex, neither did we plan to meet that day. She just happened to be in the neighborhood and decided to visit me. Obviously I was excited. When I saw her, immediately I felt lustful towards the sister! It was bad. I wanted to sleep with her but she was scared. We did stuff, just not sex that day. And to tell you the truth, I told her I loved her just before I made a move on her. But she was wise enough to say no. Looking back now, I am so grateful she said no. But I was angry that day. I didn't talk to her for a few days. I'll ask you a question - Do you think that is love? 

A night at the girl's hostels 

In 2013, an opportunity presented itself yet again. This time around, I was in boarding school. I had a girlfriend. A different girlfriend. Somebody I had been dating for almost a year. She called me and invited me to her hostel. In any normal boarding school, such kind of interactions are not allowed, unless you are in a college. But I went anyway. My friends and I payed off the security guards. 

I will not get into details of the things that happened that night. But people were having sex. I saw girls in their night gowns. They dressed so inappropriately, but sadly I liked it. And my girlfriend happened to be among the girls. So I thought I was going to do something that night, but no. We didn't get that far. In my frustration, I ended up making out with another girl the very same night. I'll ask again - Is that love? 

Ladies and gentleman. Believe me when I say I have experienced many things. I did all these things when I was younger and when I never knew God. And yet, I proclaimed love towards these innocent sisters. Do consider what I am writing. When you experience the love of God, you know exactly what is not the love of God. 

Note: Hey readers. It's a little raw today. I want you to know that I am not just some guy that's comfortable with sharing very personal experiences. I care about every person that reads this. I do not need to know what you have experienced and I figured I could be a voice that speaks out what you are afraid of saying. God heals people. Can you imagine that God could love me? That's Agape love. Love that knows no limit. I want you to experience the love of God personally. When you do, you won't easily succumb to the temptations that present themselves to us. God loves you and the more that you understand that, the better! Thank you for reading! God bless you!