Drinks and Drabbles

End of a Fantasy (pjm - angst)

Summer ends with a fantasy, love filling your lungs until you feel like you'd be happy to suffocate from it. Summer ends with promises to keep in touch, promises to meet again. Summer ends with a smile reaching to the eyes, with fond gazes, with a kiss.

But then, autumn goes by with stress. Workload on your shoulders, the sweet exchanges from summer slowly starts to filter away. You try, you try so hard to continue the fantasy you had. But it's so hard, it's so stressful, you're so tired. Phone calls end with tears, messages end with misunderstandings, finding time for each other lead to frustration.

The only thing holding the two of you together is the fantasy you once had, the promises you once made.

While the two of you were still calling on a regular basis, Jimin had booked a ticket in advance, a promise to meet when your schedules weren't clashing. And that day is coming too soon, with hopes that his visit won't be for nought, that maybe seeing him in person again will wear that stress and frustration away.

But deep down, you know that the fantasy will be over soon.

The first day he arrives, the love around you at the airport masks your conflicting feelings deep down. You greet him with a smile and he smile back. Your smiles don't reach your eyes, they don't feel genuine. That should have been the first sign.

During his visit, you try with dates, holding hands and reminiscing the summer you spent together. You can't help but think how in love you were back then. You can't help but think about how that love doesn't fill your lungs anymore. You can't help but think of the love as a distant memory rather than a current feeling.

The last night of Jimin's visit is spent together digging for that love again, with longing and desperation for the warmth you felt months before. Sweet words and moans fill the room, under the guise of making love. But there's a disconnect. You can't find the love, no matter how hard you try.

At the end of the night, you stare at the ceiling as you try to catch your breath from the desperate wanting. Jimin turns to look at you with sadness in his eyes. He knows. You know.

The fantasy is gone.

The next morning, you accompany him to the airport to see him off. Sadness sits in the pits of your stomach, a knowing in your heart that this will be your last encounter with Jimin. And just before he leaves to board the plane, you share one last kiss.

The taste of salt from his tears sits on your lips as you watch him leave.

And you let yourself cry on your way home, rain hitting the pavement to mask your tears.