╭Lamented╮

Chapter 1

Toshiro

Tears are always something seen in this silent land where people would say goodbye. Despite this natural sight, I didn't expect those tear-filled eyes from her. Her lips were in a permanent frown. She looked more than sad; the girl looked broken. That was my first impression on her when I went to visit Grandma Haru's resting place. I remember being downcast, which was an understatement. I remember my eyes burning trying to hold back my emotions. Grandma Haru was like family, but I would not admit such a thing to anyone but myself.

I did not approach her. Glancing at her from afar was as much as I done. My mind was too occupied and I was simulating ways I should approach this spirit. My first thought was to send her to the Soul Society.

I never done that.

It might have been that my actions led back to my loss. Maybe my emotions were too scattered to think properly and I - in a broken state - approached another who looked broken and dull. I heard being unstable made people do things they would not usually do. Was I unstable?

"Excuse me," I said. The girl did not, however, respond verbally. Her frail body jolting up was the response I got and her tear-filled eyes staring hopelessly at mine. In contrast to her clear sadness, there was this light or rather, spark in her grey shaded eyes. Was it those tears or something else that made it look like that? Or was it the moon's light that reflected in her eyes? It was like her complete hopelessness and despair couldn't reach the meaningless glint in her eyes. Instead, one could see it through her body language and other facial expressions.

With that glint in her eyes was complete fear.

I could see it.

"H... Hello," I said, finding myself speechless and, oddly, stumbling over my words. I did not think this through and that was clear now. What do I do now? I felt overwhelmed when she made eye contact with me. The reasoning? I was yet to find the answer to that question. She made a feeble attempt to rid the tears flowing on her cheeks. "H-hello," she croaked. "You can see me?" She asked between sniffs and hiccups. I nodded. She seemed like she recently passed away or she could still be grieving even after decades. I would not know.

"Yes, I can," I answered. "Why?" She asked immediately after my answer. I raised an eyebrow, but answered her question either way. She would comment and ask follow up questions until we were engrossed in our own world.

She talked and I listened. Occasionally, I would talk and she would listen. I told her why I was here and she told me why she was here. Talking made her feel better, I observed.

I felt at ease too and forgot the chain that had a tight grip onto her heart. I forgot the sword that had burned my back - ironically. My hand that was meant to wield it and send this spirit to the Soul Society to live in peace. Was I being selfish when I wanted to talk to her a little more?

I probably was. I should have done my job, but I never did.

I will do it after talking to her just a little bit. 

I will do it tomorrow. 

I will do it the next day. 

Today, I cannot leave her this way! I walked to her grave - where we usually meet - and opened my mouth to speak. "Toshiro." I heard her gentle, child-like yet mature voice. It was hard to explain the raven-haired girl's voice, because it was so unique. "Listen, I..." The words were caught in my throat.

Reality sunk in. What would happen when I sent her to the Soul Society? I bit my lip — which would have a bad aftermath. She hummed with a curious expression. "Never mind," I said. She tilted her head before smiling at me. "Okay. My brother does that same thing?"

"You have siblings?"

"Yes, I'll talk about them today then."

Just one more day.

"Okay, tell me all about them."

I will tell her and do it next time.

For now, I want to talk to her and get to know her.  

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│ hi! as said, my previous account isn't accessible, and i am still working on Temporarily Here.

│ originally, i was planning to publish this when i finished Temporarily Here and when i finished this book. but since it's taking so long, i decided to publish this in the meantime. it's a bit of rush too, since i didn't change the previous cover either. thanks for reading!

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