𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍. ʜᴀɴᴀꜱʜɪʀᴏ

1 9 : 不幸なバレリーナ

The Unhappy Ballerina

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Warning: dark theme ahead.

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It was very noisy.

Lots of clicking from the cameras filled the air and the unlimited flashing of lights coming from them hurt her eyes. Several hurried voices could be heard, each and every one of them, trying their best to catch her attention to at least elicit a reply from her, but to no avail. She never liked answering questions anyway.

"Congratulations, Miss Akane," a man came walking from the side as he smiles at her, and hands her a bouquet of flowers. "Yet, another one of your graceful performances tonight. Good job."

"Thank you very much," she politely replies as she takes the bouquet gently, a smile on her face. And then, the both of them turns and poses at one of the photographers for a picture.

"You looked stunning earlier," a familiar voice from behind her says after she walks straight out from the audience's view to finally return and rest. "Well, you have always been, Aoi. It makes me really proud to be your sister!"

Aoi turns her head towards the source of the voice; it was a girl with the same height and every feature as her. Indigo hair and eyes that shines whenever basked in the warm sunlight, pale skin, slim figure and a beautiful smile to top it — it was her twin sister. She smiled, "Thank you, Sumire."

"I hope you didn't overworked yourself again," Sumire smiles half-heartedly as she glances at her sister's feet, a worried look on her face. "I'm so sorry that Mom and Dad can't come to one of your performances again. They said they were really busy tonight."

Ah, yes. Well, as far as she could remember, they never really watch any of her recitals anyway. It's either they're too busy, too tired or too lazy. It has always been that way. Do they think she wasn't aware of any of that?

"That's fine!" Aoi says cheerily as she pats Sumire's back. She started walking forward. "It's better if they do something much more important first."

Sumire looks at her worriedly as she walks away. But she shakes it away and smiles instead, catching up to her sister, "Well, since everything is done now, your sister will treat you somewhere nice tonight! Where do you want to eat?"

"Anywhere nice." Aoi giggles.

At school, after days from her show, everyone greeted her as usual with their smiles and shy 'good mornings'. In class, everyone talked to her, keeping on complimenting her about how they watched her and how she looked very graceful as a swan that evening. Aoi smiled and replied to each and everyone of them politely.

But everything she was showing them was just a façade, though.

In Aoi's mind, she honestly wanted to walk out and ignore each and every one of them. If ears can be closed as how we can close our mouth and eyes, she would've done that a long time ago. Their compliments and words mean nothing to her. They just feel like empty words that never fill the void in her heart.

She was lonely.

No matter how many people surround her and no matter how many people talk to her, she still felt lonely inside. Her mind was always a mess and she hated how it was, every moment she's alone. Because it would always whisper those words that make her anxious, angry, and hopeless. It made her grab on to the edges of her sanity.

"Hey, hey, Aoi," one girl came up as she calls out for her attention. "How is your foot? All healed? I'm really worried, you know! We're friends and we should rely on each other."

Friends? For all Aoi knows, this girl was just being pretentious and plastic because she wants to be as popular as her that's why she befriended her. She knows that she's lying through her own teeth; it's really funny how people lie to you when you already know what's the truth, right? They look like total idiots, making a fool of themselves.

"Oh, my foot?" Aoi says as she points at it, smiling back at the girl. "It's all okay, there's no need to worry. I'm fine."

"I see, that's good to hear!"

"Anyway," she stands up from her seat. "I'll be at the restroom for a minute."

Aoi sighed in relief as she finally walked out of the classroom and down the hallways. Her eyes darted from the restroom doors towards the stairs that led to the rooftop. And then, quietly, she made her way up the stairs.

She looked at the sky with a hand near her eyes, as if saluting, so that they won't hurt and be irritated by the blaring heat and radiation from the sun. It was hot and humid. But it was fine.

Aoi fell silent.

And the more she was silent, the more she felt lonely as she listened to her horrible thoughts.

"You're such a disgrace in the Akane bloodline. How can you be so stupid? Why can't you be like your sister, Sumire? You are twins, for Pete's sake. It would've been better if you were at least as half as good as she is."

She hugged her knees; her parents hated her for being so different from her sister. Sumire was good at anything and everything. Cooking, singing, studies, ballet — you name it.

She was just everything Aoi wasn't.

Aoi was just plain and although everyone praises her for being a good student and dancer as a representative of their school, they all mean nothing to her.

They can never make her feel happy. She just felt numb and empty.

Everyday is just the same; with her thoughts torturing her, everyone's voices ringing in her ears, and her parents' look of disgust and hatred in their eyes as they stared at her — she spent every single day with all of those things.

She was getting tired of all of it.

"No one knows how it hurts," tears fell from her eyes as she grinned and gripped onto the shining railings of the rooftop. For some reason, it felt really nice to look down from there today. Like some comforting voice was also calling her from down there. "I want to run away."

Her breath hitched as she looked down at her bruised and callused feet; everyday, she would practice and practice without end so that one day, her parents would finally acknowledge her and watch her on stage at least. That was her wish from before. Aoi didn't care even if she would suffer from exhaustion, metatarsalgia, stress fractures or anything that would hurt her.

But now, it seems as if her wish has been changed as she raised her feet off the ground, and onto the thin railings that stood at the edges of the roof.

She chuckles and clenches her fists, realizing how windy it was at that spot and mentally wished how she should've done it from even before.

Aoi looked down and smiled bitterly.

"I..." She trailed off as she puts out a leg out onto the empty space in front of her, not caring about how high it was.

And then, she slowly let go of her weight, falling towards to where the gravity was pulling her.

"I... have always been unlike everyone else."