𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍. ʜᴀɴᴀꜱʜɪʀᴏ

2 0 : 手放す

To Let Go

—

"I'm sorry if I made things a bit awkward here," Aoi turns to them and apologizes with a smile. Indeed, it was apologetic as her gaze finally softens, somehow. "I have never had anyone listen to my troubles before. It must've been hard to hear out someone you barely know."

"Not at all," Nene protested, her eyebrows furrowed at her as she balls her hands into fists. "Hanako and I are crusaders! We will help you go back so you can live longer!"

"Crusaders?" Aoi titled her head to the side as she asks curiously. "What's that? Are you guys a part of some organization or something? That sounds nice!"

"Well, this is just a two-man organization made by me because of certain circumstances, but," Nene reaches out for her hands and holds them tight with a large smile on her face. "I want to help you find your will to live again!"

Aoi's lips were parted as she looks at her, quiet. She looked a bit surprised with what the cream-haired just said. She was baffled, but there was also something else in her expression that bothered Nene because she couldn't understand what it was — and Nene hates it whenever she can't read someone's expression. Hanako — knowing what must be up — tapped Nene's shoulder, whispering in a low voice, "Hey, I think you should—"

"I'm very grateful for your offer," she tells her as she grips back onto Nene's hands. Aoi looks at her, her eyes and face, getting gentler, "I am, really. But," she looks down with a solemn look. "I have long decided and this is my last wish, Nene."

"Ah..." Her eyes widens as she stares at her, letting go of her hands unconsciously. She averts her gaze, darting from Aoi's, to the wooden floor. Her heart was thumping in her chest loudly, feeling remorse for her words. 

I shouldn't have said that, she grips onto her skirt tightly as she shuts her eyes close. I'm so dumb. I made her feel uncomfortable. I'm the worst.

"You know, Nene, you kind of remind me of my sister," she suddenly starts as if preventing for the mood to get heavier and awkward. Aoi turns to the window and smiles as the fresh air hits her face. "She's kind, pretty and I like her a lot. She's there when I need someone the most. But even so, I couldn't tell her about my woes."

Nene looks up hesitantly, "But why not?"

"Because I was scared," she says, shrugging, "I don't even know why I'm scared, to be honest. I just feel it in my heart. When I close my eyes like this," she pauses and closes her eyes, gently putting a hand over her chest as she breathes in and out. "My heart will say something and I would always listen to it. It helps me do certain decisions whenever I do this. Do you do it, too?" She asks as she finally opens her eyes again, a small smile on her face.

Her smile made Nene feel a bit better as she replies, "No. I've never thought of that, but now that you said that," she repeats what she did and grins. "I feel like I want to do it too every now and then when I'm troubled. Aoi, I feel like you have such a beautiful mind."

"I do?" She raised her eyebrows, to which Nene replies with an eager nod. She looks out at the open sea again, her lips in a fine and thin line. "I think I don't. No, not at all. Nene, look at the sea."

Nene obeys her and looks out at the sea. Aoi glances at her, "Tell me what it reminds you of. What do you feel whenever you look at it? Do you feel nice? Angry? Sad? Or anything?"

"It reminds me of how the world will always be as vast as how it is and how it looks like a giant mirror whenever it faces the clear sky, as if painting it with the same features as it has," she tells her as she props her elbows onto the sill and puts her palms on her cheeks, resting on them. "It feels kind of relaxing. Like the water is in a long moment of concentration, patient and not in a hurry. It's pretty and makes me feel nice inside. There are no big waves present, and I can see everything clearly. It gives me a peace of mind."

"Nene!" Aoi suddenly says that it made her jump. Her eyebrows were furrowed as she huffs, "You were lying! Your mind is the one that is beautiful here! Right, Hanako?" He nods eagerly with a grin. "Your words were poetic and I loved it!"

"Hehe, it's not that great at all but thanks. I guess it's because I've been practicing a lot to be a greater writer," she smiles sheepishly as she puts a hand on her nape. "I guess I improved, even at least a bit?'

"I see, so that's your dream," Aoi grins. And then, she looks back at the sea again. "But when you said that it gives you a piece of mind, my heart felt that too. Well, at least, that is what I wish it did. My mind was always awful because it makes me think of a lot of horrible things. But next time, I'd like to change the way how I finally think. Like the sea, I want to be at peace."

"Then, does that mean that you will go back when you hear the bell?" Nene asks, hopeful.

Suddenly, Aoi stands up and smiles.

But then, Nene felt like her hope withered away as she realized what kind of smile it was.

"I'm sorry. But this is my biggest wish; I have always wanted to run away," she says as she turned and started walking away from them. "I really am grateful that the two of you listened. It made me feel maybe at peace, finally. I'm thankful that you are willing to help me, but I've decided."

"Eh?" Nene stands up as she plans to stop her, but she was stopped as Hanako holds onto her arm. "Let me go."

"Listen, Aoi has decided her fate," Hanako tells her as he holds onto her other arm, not letting go. "You have to respect it. You know that all too well, don't you?"

"But..." Nene looks up at him with her magenta eyes, on the verge of tears. It pained Hanako to see her crying again, but they can't do anything about it. They don't hold the strings of fate. "Aoi is..."

"I'm really sorry," Aoi bows. "I have been hearing the bell all this time but I didn't want to tell you because I don't want to go back. I know it must be Sumire, but I don't want to burden her anymore. But even so, I hope God makes us meet again in our next life."

Aoi steps over the cases and holds onto the knob with a small smile, "I hope you two will treasure your life for the next time when you finally hear the bell."

And then, as she opens the door and meets the wind over her, they all felt the train coming to a halt in the middle of the lone sea. The both of them heard her clacking shoes as she steps onto the stairs, soon finally reaching the waters that reached up to her ankles.

Nene hurried towards the window as Aoi looks up and waves — but even if she still feels deep sadness in her about her decision, she felt it withering away as she realizes that the smile that Aoi wore right now was the most genuine she has ever shown ever since she came. And it made Nene happy because Aoi felt finally happy, too. Genuinely.

The train soon started moving again and Nene puts her hands near her mouth as she yells with tears at the corner of her eyes, although a grin on her face, "Let's see each other again in your next life, Aoi!"

Aoi nodded eagerly as she waves, "I'll be glad to!"

Nene only looked at Aoi as the train continued to go, moving farther and farther away from the indigo-haired. She didn't lose her contact with her until she was too far to see, that it almost looked like she was just now a dot from how far away she was.

She stayed there at the window, looking at her until she became one with the horizon as they went.