𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍. ʜᴀɴᴀꜱʜɪʀᴏ

2 5 : ヒラーエット

Hiraeth

[— a homesickness for a home you can't return to, or that never was.]

—

"I wonder if this is the same sun that they can see from the living world," Nene wonders out loud as she continues to just stare outside. Same clouds, same scenery. "It's been, like, I don't know, hours? I don't think it has even moved yet, not even an inch. The night hasn't fallen."

"Don't look outside and stare at the sun too much," Hanako frowned at her. "You're going to irritate your eyes."

"Oh," she glanced at him and nodded. "Okay."

True enough, the sun has been there for a long time by now and it was still the same scenery, as when Mitsuba was still there. Although the clouds have been moving on listlessly with the wind, it seemed as if the sun still stayed there, not moving an inch — Nene knew this because even though she was told not to look at the sun from even before, she can't help but notice that it slowly moves, even if just a little, every minute.

"Why did you think of that, though?" Hanako asked as he does a sideways glance at her; honestly speaking, he was kind of nervous about what she would reply. He looks away. "You know the answer already because it has always been that way."

Nene pursed her lips and scrunched her nose up, "Stop spouting out depressing things, Hanako-kun, geez." She crossed her arms and sighed. "Thoughts just suddenly flashed in my mind randomly and then I suddenly thought of Aoi-chan's leaving from before."

"What about Aoi?"

"Well," Nene's attention darts towards random places as she continued. "At first, when she decided to go, I was really, really sad because I couldn't change her mind. But when you held my arm and stopped me, saying how we should respect someone when they have finally arrived to a certain decision, I thought hard about it."

Hanako puts a palm on his cheek as he props an elbow on the sill, staring at her and listening, "What kind of thought did you arrive to after that, then?"

"I thought that you were utterly right," she grinned. "To be honest, I didn't totally get it right when you first said that because all I thought back then was what's important is to change her mind and make her live and find the utmost reason why we do so — I didn't realize that I was actually imposing my own desire over hers.

And then when I finally knew what was wrong on my side, I finally understood the human nature of how, when they know that something is finally enough, they make certain decisions for themselves.

And they make it, not because they just want to avoid what was going on their way; but because they want what is best for themselves."

Hanako smiled, "Aoi didn't give up; she let her soul go because she thought that that was what is best for herself; we all want the best for ourselves."

Nene beamed at him.

"It's a nice thing that you've learned a life lesson here," he grinned. "Well, I guess this is what this world is about."

"Oh?" She curiously looked at him as her lips curled into a smile that reached her eyes. "Tell me what you think about it."

Maybe it was just her or something but — these past few times, she's been wondering what or how Hanako thinks about just anything.

Weird.

"For people who were like Aoi," he pauses and puts an index finger on his chin. "I think souls like her stop over here for awhile before moving on because they need to clear their minds off first — so that in their next life, they won't have to carry the same burden and pain in their hearts forever."

Hanako glances out from beyond the window again and stares at the clouds  quietly. Nene did the same. The both of them fell silent soon enough.

But the silence that enveloped the both of them inside that peculiar train was something that felt really like home — it was a very comfortable silence.

"Hanako-kun," she calls out and breaks the silence; but of course, that didn't mean that they didn't feel comfortable anymore. "What about you?"

He looked at her. "What about me?"

"Since we were talking about decisions and thoughts, I'm going to ask you something relevant," Nene says as she sits properly. Hanako replied with humming and nodding. "So, how about you? Have you ever even thought of that seriously?"

"About what?"

Nene fiddled with her fingers. "Well, Hanako-kun, even if I don't exactly know how long you've been here, uh, I was wondering if you have ever thought about. . ." She trailed off before finally deciding not to contemplate with herself anymore and just say it. "About also arriving to a certain decision? Like, do you miss home?"

He wasn't able to answer for the first few seconds; his eyes were wide and they looked surprised — until his face seemed to fall as he looked away, "Oh, about that."

Nene felt dubious if he would even answer it so she waves her hands dismissively, "W-Well, it's totally fine even if you don't—"

"Give me your hand."

"Huh?" She was stunned for a second there. "I beg your pardon?"

"Your hand," Hanako gestured at it and grinned. "Stand up and I'll hold your hand."

Nene felt like she was being played at but she still stood up and obeyed, giving him her hand. Hanako held it tenderly in his. "Now, put your other palm onto the window pane."

"Eh?" It was the only thing that escaped her lips as she still did it, pressing it over the window. She noticed that he also did the same from his side. "What are we exactly doing, Hanako-kun?"

The boy only smiled at her — and oh, Nene knew that kind of smile.

"Trust me. I feel like something special is going to happen next," he told her as he finally looked forward, the smile on his lips never ceasing. "Close your eyes."

Nene just looked at him. "Why?"

"Do you trust me?" He asked.

"I do," she said in a small voice as her gaze darts from him to the clouds outside; honestly, she didn't knew what was happening and what's the deal with him, but she felt like she should just trust him — right at that moment. "I'll close me eyes."

And the both of them felt silent as they felt their hearts beating from underneath their chests, rapid and warm.

— waiting.