𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍. ʜᴀɴᴀꜱʜɪʀᴏ

1 4 : 忘却

Oblivion

—

Iridescent.

That was the title of her first painting that won in a contest. She was on her third year in middle school at that time and news got over the whole campus, making her an instant celebrity. Everyone around her would greet her at the hallways and be friendly with her. Well, what do you say — her painting made everyone think she was a genius after all!

Everyone thought it was the very epitome of perfection — a painting about the sky, showing its natural beauty. Anyone could guess that it was the sky of sunset, judging by its light and pastel colors that were used. Most girls gushed about how cute and how they could feel 'at home' and relaxed by just looking at it from the exhibit hall.

Mei was happy about the fact that they felt something with her painting; that was right — art was not supposed to only look nice. It was supposed to make you feel something. She noted that in her head after reading it from a western book she read that made her heart skip a beat before.

But that doesn't cover up the fact that the painting she made was only the fruit of her parents' pleads for her to use softer colors when painting — she didn't like them at all. In fact, she loved darker colors way more better. And it worried her parents about her strange liking with them.

The brown-haired lass couldn't understand why they were worried about her; she was a straight-A student and she was very optimistic. They were the ones who were acting strange.

She didn't intend to use those kind of soft colors until the third year of her highschool, though. It was pure hell for her to not be able to use the colors she loved, and she could not pretend anymore. Mei didn't want to pretend forever.

And so, she passed her first painting where she used darker colors, "Guiding Light."

In that masterpiece, a girl was seen walking in a very dark place, with only a small lamp in her hand, creating a somewhat lonely and eerie feeling as she walks into that valley of darkness. Everyone gasped and turned, whispering and murmuring when they first saw the art — Mei knew this would be the outcome for revealing her true likes, and she was more than ready to let go of her fame. Until they said, "This is really beautiful, Miss Shijima!"

Mei was completely overjoyed with their words; well, who wouldn't be? Their simple words mean the world to her! It felt like they accept her for who she is, no matter what color preference she take. She became even more popular after that.

Everything was going well, until in the middle of the school year, she was taken to the hospital after a violent coughing in the morning. Apparently, it just started as a minor cough two weeks earlier until it snowballed into a severe one. It was too bad, she started coughing up blood as well, which greatly terrified her.

Just looking at the crimson color of blood on her hands were enough for her to feel her heart sinking and feel a sense of macabre — much more, when she heard them diagnose her with tuberculosis.

Mei felt her heart shatter into thousands and thousands of pieces after hearing those words. Her world crumbled into nothing but ashes as she stared down at her hands, shaking in confusion and fear.

But she told herself that she had no any intentions of dying.

And that was when the rumors started circulating around the whole school.

Before she left school for isolation, she had made one last painting in the art room; one where she drew herself, in the middle of the rain, alone and dancing. She made sure that her crystal blue eyes would project the same feeling she had while doing that art — hope. And for the last part, she wore a smile inside that canvas.

But after hearing the news of her state by then, everyone began to murmur and turn to each other again, whispering gossips and the like. Rumors that were centered around her fondness of dark colors; everyone concluded that her paintings conveyed dark meanings — such as "Guiding Light" expressing about how lonely the girl felt as she walked into that valley of darkness, alone and only with a small lamp as her source of light.

Theories began about how the darkness must represent Mei's feelings of loneliness and depression before long. It left her perplexed and speechless after hearing that and so she tried writing to everyone about how they were misinterpreting her art — because it was meant to be a painting about hope and finding light in the end of a dark tunnel.

But instead of listening, they doubted her, sticking up to their belief and pitying her for her condition.

"Mei Shijima must be suffering, especially right now."

"I hope she gets better soon."

"Poor girl."

That wasn't all though; her school hung her last painting, saying about how proud they were to have her as a student in their school. That they were honored. And that she will always be remembered.

Mei couldn't help but express a strong feeling of frustration after discovering that — they were treating her as if she was already dead, even! It angered her about how bold they were; don't they even think of the person's feelings?

But no matter how she tried to explain everything to them, she felt like her words fell deaf whenever they try to reach their ears.

Some believed her, most did not.

But even so, no matter how deathly ill she has become, she never gave up. Mei refused to give up. She wanted to convey her feelings crystal clear to them and she was refusing to be a rumor, even after if she died.

That's why no matter how lonely it was in that hospital room, she still continued to draw, even if the nurses also pitied her for being so optimistic after everything.

Her hope and resolve was too strong, after all.

"Putting up my locks into braids would be nice," she hums happily as she continues to sketch on her pad, feeling light, even if she was coughing in between. "This is my ideal self; a healthy Mei Shijima!"

Mei raised her skinny arms, pumping her fists in the air with a relieved sigh. Her body had a drastic change after being hospitalized for months now; she became much thinner and her appetite has been declining, even if the food in front of her are fluffy pancakes, which she likes the most.

She was enjoying her time, until she suddenly felt like something got stuck in her throat again, making her cough a bit harder than usual. She thought it would go away after relieving herself for awhile.

But it didn't.