Killing Keats

The Fire in the Rye

As per Celia's request they met at the park the next Monday. Imogen had her book to burn. It would be a good distraction if things went wrong. Imogen was worried about the confrontation to say the least. As was Morrissey. He had two headphones in instead of the usual one. He was listening to the Doors, that couldn't be good. 

Celia and Richard arrived. She was looking better and a lot more composed than the week before. 

"What are we destroying today Immy?" Morrissey said.

"The Catcher in the Rye," Imogen said. 

"What do you have against Holden? He's like the teenage son of angst," Morrissey said. 

"I liked the book. It was everyone's reaction to it that I couldn't take. Nobody understood the book. They were completely insensitive to anyone living with a mental health condition," Imogen said.

Imogen knew she was putting a huge part of her life at risk from backlash but she had to tell someone her grievances. 

"I couldn't sit through our mental health unit in PE. It's basically here's a crappy Russell Crowe film and a lot of negative stereotypes. Careful kids people with mental health issues are dangerous. Now develop a healthy attitude to those who are having issues," Celia said. 

"I know and then they barely talk about anxiety and depression where they are the ones that affect most teenagers," Morrissey said.

"It hurts so badly to have a part of yourself so under attack by a group of ignorant teenagers," Imogen said. "The best response you get out of your teachers when you complain is 'they're learning'. What a load of crap. They could at least be sensitive about it."

"I take it you have a mental illness Immy," Morrissey said, gently.

"Yeah, General Anxiety Disorder. It started in Year 8. We changed schools and Marlon fit in perfectly and I didn't. That's what sparked it. It gets bad in new situations, tests or crappy days," she said. It felt good to let them know.

"That's what I wanted to talk about," Celia said. "My psychologist thought I would be able to ease off my antidepressants. Turns out I can't. I have Atypical Depression. Instead of not eating my appetite increases. I'm tired instead being an insomniac. I am hypersensitive to what people think of me. I'm hypersensitive about rejection. On a bad day I can't get out of bed or if I can I react aggressively to whoever I'm around. I lost it at everyone, Richard, Mum, my sisters. I just wanted to apologise to you Morrissey. It was uncalled for."

Morrissey was standing next to Imogen and had a protective arm around her. She was wiping away a tear. He dropped the arm as soon as Celia stopped talking. He gave her a smile.

"It's alright. I get it. I'm agoraphobic," he said, softly. "I hate going outside of my house or the music store. They're my safe places. I'm on anti anxiety medication. They only numb the symptoms. If I'm distracted I'm okay so I use music. It's why I have my headphones in all the time. It's antisocial but it helps."

He was taken off guard by Imogen throwing her arms around his neck. He was embarrassed to find that he had been crying. 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," he said, nodding his head. "Yes."

He had a feeling that if Imogen asked he'd tell her anything. She took his hand and lead him back to the picnic table.

"It started with some nude pictures. They weren't my own. They were my sisters. She's a year younger than me and got involved with an older guy. She's quite innocent and nerdy and I didn't think it would last that long. It was her first relationship. He started to pressure her for pictures. Nudes (he spat the word out like it was poison on his tongue).