Dreamwalking in Lavender Fields

Chapter 4. From now on.

It took Zak some time to calm down and make himself get up, and then another two days to come to his senses. Naturally, this also meant no sleep.

He was sure, he was absolutely sure, that for a split second Darryl was there with him. He pulled Zak out from the nightmare that his guilt and longing had turned their dreamscape into. That was good. That meant that Darryl was sleeping... Zak hoped so, at least, Vincent did not tell him anything even though he obviously knew.

That also meant that Darryl still cared enough to help him, which gave Zak hope. He would find Darryl, would apologize, and would beg for forgiveness if needed, and would eventually confess. Simple plan, really. The first hard part was shaking Darryl's location out of Vincent though....

Zak suddenly realized that Vincent probably knew. Darryl most likely told him that he saw Zak in his dreams... and that he was in love with him. Zak could not help but wonder when Darryl realized. When was his moment of realization that he loved Zak? He'd have to ask him when he sets everything right...

Zak didn't think he deserved to be loved by Darryl in the first place, and especially now, not after all the mental breakdowns that he caused, even before his big mistake. Zak didn't think he deserved to be loved by Darryl, since Darryl was an absolute angel. Zak kept ruining him. But from now on his eyes will not be blinded by the lights. From now on what's waited 'til tomorrow ‪starts tonight‬. Tonight.

"Let this promise in me start like an anthem in my heart. From now on," he said to himself. From now on... Zak did not know where he heard that line but it was poetic and it fit the situation. He was going to fix it. He was set on getting Darryl back.

Step one. Call Vincent.

"Zak. It's late. I was asleep." He had a lot to deal with at the moment, so he was not getting enough sleep.

"Sorry, but it's urgent." Zak has this hint of desperation in his voice that made Vincent sigh and mumble a sleepy go on. "So, um... you told me to call if I figured something out... and I did... figure something out. And-" Zak was not sure what to say. He was in wrong in the whole situation and he was scared of asking about Darryl's whereabouts when there was a possibility of losing Vincent. "And I really need to know... where Darryl is."

Vincent was really thinking about telling him, and he eventually would. But Zak could not say it out loud, because it would just turn into another heartbreak. "Talk to me more, Zak. I know where Darryl is but I don't want him to get hurt again. He's really not feeling well, man. He's like a shell of what he used to be." Vincent did not want to bring up that Darryl only slept when given sleeping pills, or that he had destroyed a tree with his throwing knives, or that Clay had found a half finished pack of cigarettes in his bag.

Vincent was expecting Zak to come with excuses, to wiggle his way out of a direct confession but, on the contrary, Zak responded.

"He really is my soulmate. I love him. It's okay if he doesn't forgive me, but I want him to know that." Zak was sincere and honest and Vincent saw that.

"Okay. I like that... okay. I might get murdered by Dream for this so..." he sighed contemplating his life choices yet again. And decided to stall for a little bit. "Just so you know he really wants to hit you."

"That's okay. Just tell me!" Something fishy was going on. This was a matter of life and death. Why wouldn't he just spit out?!

"I'm getting to it! Calm down, gosh... so, he is-" and he made another pause. Was he doing this on purpose? As punishment? Or maybe it was just karma. "Wait, one last thing?"

"Yes?"

"Promise, you won't get mad...? At me, I mean..." Okay? This was weird.

"Why would I get mad at you, Vin?" Zak asked softly, curling up on his chair. "You're the one who should be mad at me. And yet, here you are - helping me instead... you're such an amazing friend, I don't appreciate you enough."