The Gate

13. Fire and Ice

Lena Matthews

I lugged the firewood into the backyard. It was heavier than expected, but I didn't let that stop me. I had already made up my mind. Beads of sweat began to gather on my forehead, but I wiped them away.

"What are you doing?" Finn asked, following me.

"I need to know." I replied shortly.

"Okay." said Finn, confused. "What was Jane-Anne doing here earlier?" he added, casually walking alongside me. He held out his arms, offering to carry the firewood for me, but I refused.

"I guess she just wanted to start over. I'm sure you've heard some rumors about me that she helped start." I replied.

"I haven't heard anything." said Finn, lying effortlessly.

I dropped the firewood into the pit and covered my eyes as ash flew everywhere. "I never thought I'd say this, but I actually feel bad for her." I shrugged, and began arranging the logs neatly.

"So, do you still think she's one of them?" Finn asked in a very I-told-you-so fashion. He smiled, despite still having a split lip from Carter last night.

"You were right." I admitted begrudgingly. "Listen, Carter's coming later. He's taking me to Atalka General so we can visit Rowan together."

I didn't have to tell Finn that I was going to take the opportunity to dig into the accident. There was no information about it anywhere, and the fact that Rowan was found frozen made no sense under normal circumstances. It had to be one of the Forbidden.

I checked the chairs for lighter fluid and matches. Dad must have left them out here last night after leaving so abruptly. I found them tucked underneath one of the throw pillows and set them by the fire pit triumphantly.

"Why are you trying to light a fire in the middle of the afternoon?" Finn asked. "Oh..." He connected slowly. "Are you sure you actually want to do that?"

"I need to know." I repeated stubbornly. I grabbed the bottle of lighter fluid and used it to spray the logs. Then, I took a match and struck it against the box, creating a tiny flame. I dangled the match above the pit and dropped it. A small fire crackled to life, and I watched it burn resolutely.

"Lena," said Finn. "I need you to listen to me very carefully. If you do this, there's no going back."

"Sh!" I instructed. I didn't need Finn giving me valid advice right now. Dad's words from last night floated inside my head, taunting me. If what he said was true, and my grandmother was one of the Forbidden, it would explain Aurelie's stunt last night.

A Forbidden relative. The mere thought of it made me sick.

"Seriously, Lena, you're not actually going to-" Before Finn could finish his sentence,  I shoved my bare hand into the middle of the flames.

"Lena!" Finn shouted, alarmed. He grabbed my arm, but I pushed him away. The fire didn't hurt; it just lightly brushed against my skin. I let my arm stay there, unaffected. Slowly, I pulled it away and examined my pale skin, perfectly unharmed. It was true. I stumbled backwards in shock. Finn tried to catch me, but I shoved him away again. I staggered back to a tree and threw up.

For the first time in my life, I felt a pure, undiluted rage. I wanted to rip out of my skin and escape from my body, my family, and the Forbidden blood that poisoned my veins. My vision blurred with tears and anger. I wiped my mouth and nearly sprinted back to the stupid fire. I grabbed one of the logs and held it in the air with my bare hands. With all of my might, I launched the burning log as far as I could.