middle of the night - the vamps
(i literally just remembered that this song existed)
dixie's pov
i keep coming back to the moment where everything fell apart. the night the hate got the best of me and i lost the best thing that ever happened to me.
i remember that night clear as day. me and griffin had broken up months ago but people especially his stans were still attacking me, or they kept shipping us saying we were 'meant to be' and others said me and noah were 'obviously into eachother' little did they know that i was finally happy with someone who genuinely cared about me. addison rae easterling.
i was just so tired of the hate and overwhelming pressure that i was under. i pulled my phone out of my pocket and set it up, i started an instagram live. people came flooding in asking questions about charli, griffin, noah, and even some about addison, but i also saw the hate.
"hey, i actually came on here to talk about something important to me that i really want to share with you all."
"no me and griffin aren't getting back together. can you guys please stop asking."
"anyways, i wanted to say that i've met someone who i really love."
of course i saw comments saying 'OMG IT HAS TO BE NOAH'
"and that someone is a girl. i'm bisexual, and i really hope that you guys will accept me."
the comments blew up. some saying 'WE BEEN KNEW', or 'BITCH SOMEONE CALL ADDISON'. i laughed at their reactions until i saw it. the hate. 'ew you're a dyke' or 'no you're doing this to cover up the fact that you're with noah.' 'kill yourself. you're a waste of space.'
i instantly broke.
"thank you guys for all the support. i love you all." i quickly ended the live and sat there letting the tears build up in my eyes before letting go.
maybe they were right. i'm not supposed to be here and i don't deserve addison.
before i knew it i dialed the number. the line began to ring.
"hello?"
"h-hey um addison."
"what's wrong dixie?"
"i don't think we should be together anymore." i rushed and hung up.
that night was more than a month ago.
i stumbled to the cabinet in my apartment and grabbed a bottle of liquor. i know i shouldn't but i'm not to much pain. she probably hates me. i probably broke her. you're a horrible person dixie.
i don't understand why i let go. i don't care about the hate, all i care about is her and i let her slip right through my hands. i can't get her out of my head no matter what i do.
it was midnight but i couldn't help it. i dialed a familiar number from a better time.
"hello?"
i stayed quiet after not hearing her voice for so long.
"hello, is anyone there?"
that's when i broke.
"a- addi?"
i knew it clicked in her brain instantly.
"i'm so sorry everything got the best of me, i need you."
"dixie i gave you time, and you did nothing. i can't just hurt myself again just to be with you."
"addison i k-know i wasn't t-the best but i promise that i will love you like there's no tomorrow. i know it's the middle of nthe night but please, i miss you."
"dixie-" i cut her off.
"i know that there's no excusable explanation for what i put you through. i was just trying to live up to everyone's expectations and i ended up losing myself because i can't be who they want me to. i don't know why i let you go. i'm trying all i can, but i'll never be able to get over you. it's you addison." i paused.
"so i called you in the middle of the night to let you know that. please don't tell me i'm out of time because i have to much more love and appreciation to give you."
" i don't know." she said but i could tell she still felt something.
"i need y-you, please come over. i p-promise i'll do better. please i'm scared of myself right now. i just need you.
"dixie are you drunk? are you okay?" what's your address?"
"parkway apartments, apartment 320. i'll leave the door open for you."
" i'm coming over right now, just wait for me and don't do anything."
the call ended, and i was curled up in a corner in my kitchen leaning against the counter. my thoughts scared me and i didn't trust myself. i sat here curled up crying uncontrollably. i felt myself drifting off but i knew it wasn't sleep. it was a blackout. i didn't want to wake up like that again.
i shook my head. she's coming. i'll be safe. i heard the door open.
"addison?" i said weakly.
"dixie!" she yelled running up to me.
she pulled me into a hug and drew tiny circles on my back.
"i don't feel good." i confessed
"let's get you to a bathroom asap." she lifted me up and held me before bringing me to the bathroom just in time.
as soon as she set me down i threw up.
addison's pov
i can't believe these people broke her. the girl i was in love with. the girl who deserves the world. now here she was a month or so later in the worst state i'd ever see her. i saw the scars the faintly covered her arms. i saw the condition she was in. she was crying out for help to me on that call. i'm so glad i answered.
i heard her begin to cry again. she was now sitting up. i wet a towel with cold water and cleaned off her face.
" hey, look at me." her eyes locked with mine.
"you're gonna be okay, i'm never leaving again. i promise i'm here to stay." i helped her off the floor and handed her, her toothbrush and watched as she brushed her teeth while leaning against the wall.
she turned to me once she was done. i couldn't help it. i walked up to her grabbing both sides of her face pulling her into an electrifying kiss. she jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist as i found my way to her bedroom.
i laid her down and tucked her in. i crawled into the sheets next to her. i felt her scoot closer laying her head on my chest.
"thank you addison."
"no need to thank me dixie, i'll always be here. even in the middle of the night." i placed one last kiss on her forehead and drifted of to sleep holding dixie close.
word count: 1138
