One Time Thing [Wattys 2021 Shortlist] ✔️

Chapter 10: Further doubts

XANDER

Contrary to the popular opinion, Xander actually enjoyed washing the dishes. Something about running water soothed his nerves. He also borrowed some time to think, without needing to do anything hard or too time-consuming.

But tonight, Xander wanted more than that. He wanted total escape from his own reality. Something the dishes could not offer.

"I'm gonna go climb tomorrow with George and Tony. Zora's probably going to join." Xander told his girlfriend, who cleaned the dining table.

"We were supposed to go to church tomorrow. You know how my parents get when you're never around." Annie's voice turned higher, something that always happened when she was irritated.

"They see me every Sunday." Xander reminded her, which was the truth. Every single Sunday he dined with her parents in this very house.

Annie would disagree, but Xander felt like her parents didn't let him forget that he was technically living in their ex-home. Looking back, he wasn't even sure why he accepted that. Perhaps because Annie pushed living together more than anything and he just wanted to get it over with.

"Yes, but not in church. It means a lot to them." Annie pushed further.

"Climbing means a lot to me." Xander countered, leaving the dishes alone for the moment. He turned around and faced Annie. Lines on her forehead told him he should just leave it alone.

"I don't understand why you even do that. It's dangerous!" Annie threw the towel on the table and crossed her hands on her chest.

"Because I really enjoy it, it's that simple. Now, please, I need some fresh air away from the city and I'm going tomorrow. You can arrange church for next Sunday." Xander turned back to his dishes, hoping this would be the last of the argument.

"Then, why don't you ever take me with you?" Annie put her hands on her hips and stared at Xander, waiting for an answer. He opened his mouth to speak, but she quickly interrupted. "And don't tell me it's guys only, because Zora's coming."

"Zora's practically one of the guys." Xander said.

"Come on, Xander! Why won't you let me come?" The answer was that Xander needed to talk to his friends about his relationship and it would be quite inconvenient if his girlfriend came.

"Because you wouldn't like it. It's muddy and dangerous. Plus, it rained last night which means the ground will be terrible for walking on." Xander made up anything that he could in the moment. Annie never asked to come, this was the first time since they met.

Which meant she probably felt the distancing on his part. And Xander wasn't ready to have that conversation yet.

"I'm glad you mentioned last night." Annie sat down and Xander interpreted that as the beginning of the conversation, not the end of one. He left the dishes alone and sat on the opposite side of the table.

"I went out with Zora."

"You went out with your kid sister?"

"She's nineteen."

"And did you let your nineteen year old kid sister drink alcohol?"

"Well, it's better to drink in a safe environment." Xander chuckled, but his joke was left hanging, destroyed by Annie's bitter stare.

"Xander! She's still a child and she's already not what a girl-"

"Should be? Is that because of her tattoos?" Unable to help himself, Xander interrupted. Some visceral instinct made him protect his sister against everyone that spoke ill of her.

"I worry about her, you know that! My parents worry, too. She's not really the exemplary child in the family." Annie said and Xander breathed in loudly to stop himself from opening his mouth.

"Maybe not in your family." He failed.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you heard me. Zora is a great kid, she's competent, independent and clever. Sure, she's not a girly girl, she has a motorbike and fixes cars in her spare time, but at least she found what she's good at. Her parents," Xander emphasized the last words, "those whose opinion actually matters, are proud of her. And so am I."

Annie was quiet for a while and Xander instantly felt sorry. Their fights always left Annie crying and no matter how it seemed, Xander tried not to be the jerk. Sometimes, though, he's had enough.

"You don't consider us a family." She sniffled and Xander fought with all his might to not roll his eyes at her. The greatest strategy seemed to be emotional manipulation.

"I didn't say that, Annie." For the peace in the house, he decided not to stir the waters.

"Yes, you did! You don't think my parents should have a say in what's going on with your sister, you never want to go to church with us, and you probably hate Sundays when they come to visit!" Tears poured out of her eyes onto the clean table, but Xander knew negating her words would have no effect.

"I don't hate it." Xander shrugged his shoulders. Truthfully, he didn't know how to react to female tears, despite being in a relationship so long.

"Yes, you do!" Annie's blue eyes were glossy as she stared at him and for a moment, she looked like a girl whose toy someone stole.

"Listen, Annie." Xander scratched his neck, trying to find the right words. "I consider us a family, I really do. It's just... sometimes I need some time off from your parents. You probably wouldn't be delighted if mine were to visit every single week."

That sounded rude. The spark of anger in her eyes told him so. Crap.

"Your parents wouldn't visit even if you begged them to. That's how little they care."

Xander flinched as if someone slapped him. All the smart comments and jabs he had ready disappeared from his head. Nothing but pure anger now lingered there. Annie must have realised what she said, because she opened and closed her mouth like a fish.

"Xander..." She began, but Xander already got off the chair. "Xander, I didn't mean that. You know I didn't mean that!" Here came the tears again.

"I'm out of here." Xander said, the resentment clawing at his heart as he left the table.

"Where? Why? Come on, Xander. You know I didn't mean that." Annie got up as well.

"It's fine, Annie, really. I just wanna be alone. Is that okay?" He asked, even though every atom of his body told him to send her to hell and leave the house.

"Where are you going? Can we talk, please?" Annie begged, the sight of her swollen eyes awakening sympathy within him. He didn't want her to cry, he never wanted to see her cry.

"I need to think, okay? I'll talk to you tomorrow." Xander grabbed nothing but his car keys. He needed fresh air and his dining room was beginning to suffocate him.

"What do you need to think about?" Annie asked, her voice turning condemning, immediately putting down all of the sympathy.

"Everything."

Another night he would spent apart from his girlfriend.