One Time Thing [Wattys 2021 Shortlist] ✔️

Chapter 21: Denial 102

MIA

One could try and run from change, ignoring it, pushing in deep down. But change was inevitable and sooner or later, it would catch up, forcing one to adapt or die.

Mia felt this change in the form of nervousness, sweating and heart palpitations. Her mind was scattered, running wild with questions. There was no sadness, no anger, just confusion. This time, she knew it was denial playing its dirty trick again. Or maybe saving her from dying of all the emotions.

Jeff wasn't home. He left no messages, he didn't answer his phone. Mia was partly glad, because she knew she was not ready for that conversation. There was no conversation in the world she was ready for, but she desperately needed a distraction, and TV was proving to be a bad one.

Is any one of you available for coffee right now?

She sent the message to the WhatsApp group with her friends, nervously waiting for a response. The only message she really wanted to send was the one with Xander on the receiving end, but she was sober enough to know it was a bad idea. She wanted to scream at him, she wanted to ask him why in the world did he kiss her.

But the answer to that question was simple enough. He wanted to. And so did she. Mia's phone buzzed, it was Sam.

I'm dropping Milo off at my parents' house, I can be at Henrietta's in 10.

Mia was actually hoping it would be someone other than Samantha, there was no way she could explain her nightly escapades to her. But Mia couldn't be alone anymore, so Sam would do. She grabbed a wallet, a hoodie and rushed down the stairs of her building.

The day was gloomy and windy, just like Mia's mind. As she waited for her friend, she stared at the hydrangea bushes in the vintage garden of the beautiful café. Everyone spoke of change as something beautiful, exciting, life changing. But no one ever said how hard it was to go through the process. How hard it was to admit general unhappiness. Perhaps that was the reason why people stayed in crappy relationships. Suffering was easier than admitting you were wrong, admitting that you chose the situation you were in, and finally, admitting your own responsibility when refusing to change that same situation.

If Mia was having a crappy day, Sam's day was worse. She arrived in record time, her short hair messy and her blue eyes red. Chaos seeped off her and strangely enough, she looked like Mia felt.

"Uh, I ordered coffee but we can just as easily do shots." Mia suggested, wondering whether this entire thing was turning her into an alcoholic.

"Yeah, you can hand me some cyanide while we're at it." Sam dropped her rucksack onto the white chair and dropped herself just as carelessly.

"No cyanide, but there's vodka, which is close." Mia examined the menu. Sam's brittle laugh was strong enough to shake the hydrangea bushes, which flowers were so in contrast to Sam's gloomy mood.

"Mike's cheating on me, I went through his phone." Sam leaned onto the table, resting her head in her hands. "That's what I get for snooping."

A wave of sadness washed over Mia, especially when she remembered what Sam used to be like. The bravest in the group, the one that wanted to try everything, nothing ever stopped her. Disintegrated to the insecure, broken woman that now sat in front of Mia.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy." Mia murmured, unsure what else to say.

"I should've left it alone; I shouldn't have searched his phone. Living in denial would be much easier than facing the fact I screwed up my entire life in one night." She said those words quickly, they poured out of her mouth like they were competing.