☾Numb Without You☾

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A/N: I know there's one a little similar to this, but I had another idea for it, so here it is.

Title credit: Numb Without You- The Maine
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TRIGGER WARNING!!! Mentions suicide attempts

Andy's POV:

I've never felt so alone in my life. I'm so depressed and I don't know what to do. I miss Remington so much. We had gotten into a fight and broke up. I don't even remember what the fight was about, but now I've lost him forever over it.

I know I need to let go, but I can't. I can't live without him. I decide that I'm going to kill myself. I don't deserve to live anymore. The easiest way for me to go would be by either hanging myself or overdosing. Remington never let me keep anything long enough to hang myself or pain killers in the house due to my previous suicide attempts. But he's not here to stop me this time. No one is. I need to do this.

I leave my house and get in my car to drive to the CVS down the street to buy painkillers. I grab the two biggest bottles they have and walk to the checkout. The lady at the checkout sees what I'm buying and looks at me with concern.

"Are you okay? You're not planning on hurting yourself with these, are you?" The lady asks.

Though I find it strangely comforting that she cared enough to ask if I'm okay, I lie.

"I'm fine. My roommate and I ran out of painkillers and he's got a killer migraine so I came here to get some painkillers for him. He gets them a lot, so that's why I'm buying so many." I lie.

"Oh. Okay. Just making sure. I've seen too many people try to overdose on pain meds. I don't want to see the same happen to you. I can tell you've got a good life. I wouldn't want you to let that go to waste." The lady says as I pay for the painkillers.

"Yea It's sad to see things like that happen. Thank you." I say as I leave the store as quick as possible.

I almost feel bad for lying to her, but I know it had to be done. I can't keep living like this.

Before I go home, I decide to go to target so I can buy a belt to hang myself with. That way, if I overdose and hang myself, there's no way I'll live through it. I can finally disappear and everyone around me can finally be happy. Maybe then I'll be happy too.

I get to target and as I'm searching for a long enough belt, I see the face of someone I never thought I'd see again. He looks at me and I look away as fast as possible, knowing I'll burst into tears if I look at him any longer.

"Andy!" Remington calls to me as he walks over.

"Oh, hi Remington." I say quietly, feeling extremely nervous and uncomfortable.

"Hey Andy..... how've you been?" Remington asks, trying to make small talk.

"I've been alright... What about you? How've you been?" I ask, doing my best to hide the pain and anxiety in my voice. He sighs.

"Pretty shit, if I'm being honest." He says sadly.

My heart breaks hearing him say that. I never want him to feel like that. He should be happy. He deserves all the happiness in the world.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Why's that? If you don't mind me asking.." I ask softly, hating the fact that he's upset.

"I miss you, Andy." He whispers, his eyes filling with tears as he looks away from me.

He looks so sad and broken, and it breaks my heart to see him like this. Especially because it's my fault. This is exactly why I need to just get home and kill myself so everyone can just move on and forgetI ever existed.

"I miss you too." I whisper, my voice shaking and tears filling my eyes.

Remington looks back towards me as I say that.

"I'm so sorry for everything, Andy. To be honest, I don't even remember what we were fighting about. I miss you so much. I can't live without you." He says as a few tears fall down his face.

"I'm sorry too. I can't live without you either." I say as tears fall down my face as well.

The two of us look at each other for a few seconds before falling into each other's arms, holding each other tightly and sobbing into each other.

"I love you so much." Remington says through tears.

"I love you too." I say back, hugging him tighter and sobbing harder. "Please come back to me."

"I'll always come back to you." Remington says, calming down now.

Once we're both calm, we let go of each other and decide to go back to my- our house.

When we walk in, Remington leads me to the couch so we're sitting next to each other.

"Andy, if I ask you something serious, will you be honest with me?" Remington asks as he grabs my hand, gently rubbing his thumb across the back of my hand.

"Of course. I'd never lie to you." I say, even though I lied about being fine earlier when he asked how I was.

"Were you planning on trying to kill yourself again? There's two bottles of pain killers in your car and you were looking at belts in Target even though you never wear belts. Please be honest, Andy. I love you and l don't want to lose you." Remington asks as he holds my hand tighter.

As much as I want to lie to him and tell him I wasn't just about to kill myself, I don't have it in me to do that. All I can do is nod, unable to get the words out.

I'm sure he's going to hate me and leave me again. There's so way he'd ever want to stay with a suicidal mess like me.

"Andy... come here babe." Remington whispers as he pulls me into his arms.

My eyes fill with tears and I let out a sob as I bury my face in his chest, wrapping my arms around him tightly. He pulls me closer to him, making me cry harder and try to hide myself further in his arms.

"I can't live without you." I say, sobbing harder.

"I'm right here now, baby. I'm never leaving you again. I love you so much, my sweet Andy." Remington says as he holds me tighter and rubs my back, running his hand through my hair every so often.

He holds me as I cry for what feels like forever and once I calm down and stop crying, he pulls away slightly and wipes my tears before kissing my forehead and pulling me into another hug.

"I'm always gonna be here for you, Andy. I've got you. As long as I'm here, you never have to be alone." He says as he kisses my head again.

"I love you so much." I say as I hug him as tight as I can and bury my face in his neck.

"I love you to, Andy. So fucking much." He whispers.

The two of us sit here, just holding each other, for hours until we both eventually end up getting tired.

We decide to go upstairs to the bedroom and Remington and I lay next to each other. Remington lays on his back and I gently rest my head in his chest, using it as a pillow, and wrap my arms around his waist. He pulls the blanket over us and strokes my hair while holding me tightly which sends me to sleep almost immediately.

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