Jerk

Realization

Jinhwan's POV

I woke up in an empty room. Maybe Junhoe already left. Will I ever see him again after what happened? But I guess this is for the best. He deserves more, rather than staying with a mess I am.

The door opened and Junhoe came in, my heart stopped. I thought he left? What's he doing here? Did he forget something and it just so happens that I'm awake? I don't know if I can handle his rejection now. I just want to get out of here and far from him. I'm.. I'm afraid to get hurt by him, because I know I won't be able to handle it.

Looking at him I saw him panicked and I watched him rush to me. I got curious as to why he's like that, he started asking me what's wrong and is there anything that hurts or should he call the doctor to check on me. I just stared at him dumbfoundedly.

"Jinani. Don't cry."

What? I'm crying? I touched my eyes and I felt wetness in them. I didn't even know I cried. When did it start? From the moment he went into the room and I felt relieved to see him? Or the moment when reality hit me when I woke up and he was not there at my side?

"Oh. I didn't know I was crying. Don't worry about me. I'm fine. Did you forget something? You know I understand that you would leave, it doesn't bother me. Go on and--"

I didn't get to finish whatever I was rambling about when Junhoe suddenly hugged me. Whispering soothing words to calm me down. Feeling his warmth, I feel my tears beginning to fall down my face again.

I hugged him tightly and begin to cry out louder, it seems I cry a lot these days. When I finally calmed down a little, Junhoe broke the hug and faced me with a serious face. "I don't know why you would think I would leave you just like that, did you think my feelings for you were that weak? Well think again Jinani cause I ain't going anywhere until I make you mine."

What the hell? How can he say that after that's all happened? I am blushing like crazy now, my face would probably be a tomato now. Can the ground swallow me now?

Sniffing my snot, I replied smiling at him. "I'm sorry for worrying you like that."

Junhoe lift his hand and caress my face. Closing my eyes and leaning on his hand, loving the way his rough hand soothe my cheek and heart. I smiled, happy to feel this moment right now. Happy to feel loved. This was what I was longing for, for the longest time now. Ahh. I know now.

I opened my eyes when I felt Junhoe hold both of my face with his hand. I melted when I saw his loving face, I smiled and finally looked at him. Looking at how handsome he really is and those eyes. The eyes that whenever I look at them always tells me how much he loves and cares for me. The eyes that captured me and always leave me feeling raw every time he looks at me.

Come to think of it, I get to be who I really am with him. When it comes to Hanbin I always show him what he wants to see, one time I let him see who I really am but he said to me he doesn't like it and I need to change it.

It was not like that with Junhoe, he has seen my worst but he was still there. I push him away too many times but he still comes back looking for me. I unconsciously smiled at how sweet Junhoe is.

I felt Junhoe brushed his thumb over my cheeks and I looked at him. I saw he was leaning over me, my heart beat rapidly. I hovered over his hand and that made him locked eyes with me, he glanced at my lips and he smirk seeing me meeting him halfway.

Suddenly the door opened, hearing the familiar cheerful greeting I pushed Junhoe harshly away from me, making him fall on the floor. Oops.. I'm sorry Junhoe. "We're not interrupting anything, are we?" Donghyuk asked smirkingly. I frantically denied and started to smoothen myself.

"That hurts Jihwan. What the hell, you could've been gentler." Junhoe stood up rubbing his head and back, Donghyuk began to laugh and said. "That double meaning though." It took time for my brain to process what he meant by that and then it occurred to me. Both of them began laughing and teasing me, I yelled at both of them to shut up but they just kept laughing and teasing until I started laughing too.

"You know Doc, no offense but you should be more honest with yourself. Witnessing how relaxed you are and how happy you are with Junhoe are all the more reasons you have to end and forget all about Hanbin." Donghyuk said to me.

We were alone, Junhoe went and bought some drinks for Donghyuk. He is sitting beside me, peeling some apples for me to eat. What he said hits me and I can't help but agree to him. Maybe it's time to accept what's in front of me instead of chasing someone who I know won't ever come to reality.

For once I felt tired, all the things I've done makes me come to a conclusion that it's time for me to do the right thing. "You're right. I've been running away from the things I was afraid to accept." Donghyuk held my hand and squeezed it, I squeezed back silently saying thanks to him. "So how about Junhoe? What are gonna do about him?"

I looked at the window and thought for a moment, looking back at how Junhoe has been good to me all this time. It felt like he was too good for me, remembering his confession earlier made it seem more hurting for me to stop Junhoe meeting someone who he deserves more. It hurts but it's the truth, he would just be taking care of someone who's broken and lonely. I don't want that for him.

I exhaled a sigh and gave my answer to Donghyuk, pouring all my heart and thoughts to him without knowing someone was outside the door, listening.