The story of Underdrop ~Complete~

Chapter 12

(A/N Warning! This chapter is extremely angsty. Please, PLEASE do not read if you are sensitive to suicide. You won't miss much if you skip this chapter. You have been warned.)

***Three days later***

It was so fucking hard. I felt... Broken. Broken beyond repair. For the first time in two years, I entered Gaster's long-empty room. The same smell filled the air. The smell of him. The bed was made the exact way it always was, the floor spotless as always. I knew that what I sought was in a hidden panel at the bottom of the dresser's middle drawer as I had accidentally come across it a few years before...

***

"Hey, dad! Look what I found!" I didn't know what such a powerful thing could do at the time.

Gaster came in to find me sitting on his bed and examining the trigger on a small black gun with gold accents.

"NO SANS!' He ripped it from my hands. "YOU NEVER, EVER PLAY WITH THESE! He shouted, panic in his face.

I learned why soon after as he showed me what a bullet did to a tire. He explained what would happen if I were to get shot at all. A normal monster could probably survive a gunshot to a non-vital area, but me, only having one HP, would die instantly.

***

I searched for that special gun now. I couldn't do this on my own. I... I don't even expect to live much longer anyway with the disappearing monster cases becoming ever more common. I want to see Papyrus again. I want to see my dad. This was the only thing I could do.

I found it... Three bullets resided there. I walked up the stairs and down the hall in a daze. The enormity of the deed I was about to do numbing me to sound and color as I fumbled with Pap's golden doorknob. I slowly slipped off my loose jeans and picked up Pap's favorite pair of pants. A light tan with turquoise raindrops along the leg cuffs. I slowly wrapped Pap's scarf around my neck. I... I wanted to think of him as I did it. I wanted to picture his smiling face once more before... Well.

I opened the sliding closet door and sat beside the dark oak dresser. I pulled my purple coat a bit tighter around my arms. Slowly, cautiously, raised the gun to my left eye. The raindrop shaped eyelight had caused me nothing but pain. I could have lived a happy life if I didn't have those damn visions. I wouldn't have expected it.

No... Gaster said my eyelight was special. I couldn't destroy it. I moved the barrel a bit to the left. My hands shook uncontrollably, my breath was only sharp gasps. Tears raced each other down my face as I heard his tinkling laugh fill the small closet. I closed my eyelights firmly.

"Forgive me... Won't you Pap?" I sobbed.

There was nothing for it... I pulled it.

***
Ah... My... My head. It feels... It feels like I've been split open by a hot wire...

My eyelights flicker feebly and I catch a glimpse of white-gray carpet. Hmm... Am I... Home? I lift my head. It collided painfully with an open drawer. The steady drip-drop could be heard all around. Then the pain rolls over me. My temple is seared with a burning fire. I put my hand up to find red marrow pouring from my skull.

No... No! Why aren't I d-dead? Why does it hurt so much?!? Someone? Anyone?

"HELP!!!" I scream as I clutch my burning skull.

I pull myself up with the dresser's handlebar and stumble my way to the bathroom. There was marrow all over the left side of the dresser and it was ruining his carpet. I slam the bathroom door open and lean against it for support. Why hadn't I died? I was supposed to die. I fumbled with the knobs on the sink. I could hardly see anything in the mirror. My eyelights are so blurry. There's so much marrow everywhere.

I scrub at the marrow coating my face. There it was. A triangular chunk of bone was missing. Marrow spurts from the mostly cleaned wound. It hurt... Oh it hurt so much. I crush my hand to the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. After ten minutes, or maybe it was ten years, the bleeding slowed to a drip.

I lean heavily on the sink, each breath feeling like fire on my skull. I pull up my stats.

_______________________
Sans
HP: 1
DF: 1
ATK: 2- *)))
STA: 0.5/100
______________________

My eyes... They're so blurry. The one HP appeared to be shaking. It couldn't be possible. I pull out my SOUL. The beating turquoise surface shimmered and it seemed like there were tiny sparks coming from it. There was a small gash in the middle that marrow was dripping out of.

My head was spinning, my eyelights flicker uncertainly. I let my SOUL back to me and tightly wrap my head in bandages. Stumbling heavily, I make my way back to Papyrus' room, the scarf slipping from my neck to the floor. Thank the flowers that Grillby had given me off time to recover from the shock. I used some water magic and blue magic to remove the bloodstain from the carpet. I try to bring the chunk of bone to me so I could try to heal myself, but all that came was a tiny pile of dust. An irreversible wound...

I finish getting the blood off and collapse into sleep before I even make it to the bed. What did it matter anyway?