The story of Underdrop ~Complete~

Chapter 19

(A/N This is an angsty af chapter peeps with mentions of attempted suicide and self harm. The next chapter is the happy ending though! If you like, you can skip this chapter. It's only Drop's diary pages from his years alone. If you decide to read on, thank you! And please keep in mind that Killer!Sans does not belong to me, but to Rahafwabas. Enjoy!)

Week one

An odd numbness has spread over me. It wasn't what I expected. I expected anger, sadness, guilt. Anything really. But no emotions came. I finally got myself out of the crater I had made and did nothing but finish my rounds of the Underground. There was the fact that the secret hideout had been overflowed with lava, but even that didn't get a drip of emotion out of me.

Week two

Still numb. The silence is grating my nerves inside the house so I go out whenever possible. I tried to make myself go back to the crater multiple times, but failed repeatedly. It's so quiet now...

Week three

I saw Pap's scarf hanging in the closet and broke down entirely. At first it was a relief to have feeling returned, but after bursting to tears over everything that reminded me of them, I half wished to go back to the numbness.

Week four

I caused another explosion in a fit of rage. Doggo's house and my own had to be completely rebuilt. At least I have my magic to assist me, but I spent most of the time doing it by hand. I found the labor soothing.

Week twenty

This is stupid. The entire diary idea was bad. Every time I open it I get depressed all over again. Maybe I'll just destroy it. I never write more than once a week anyway. But then again, every week I dream of writing again and it may come handy, but for now I think I'll stop writing for a while at least.

Week 45

I thought I had lost this thing when I destroyed the house again, forgetting that I had hidden it in the basement. Not much has happened as anyone could guess. I got myself to the door, but no amount of magic could open it. I made myself a small house in the woods near the door in case something happens.