What Goes Around [on hold]

Chapter 7 ~ Focusing on you

Darcy sat hugging her legs in the middle of her room. As much as she might try, she couldn’t get the memories out of her mind. The world spun around her, making her feel dizzy, clueless; disorientated.

It felt as if she sat there for days on end, not moving an inch. Her head buzzed; various colours formed in front of her shut eyelids, as if trying to take some shape; to make some kind of sense, but just before they did, the images shattered into a thousand shards of broken glass, and dispersed back into the black void.

How did Darcy react to these shapes? She didn’t. She wasn’t trying to look for the answers. She just watched them go by, without ever really taking them in. She didn’t care. She didn’t know what to think anymore.

But, after only-God-knows-how-long, something awakened her from this trance-like state. It was her phone, vibrating quietly. If Darcy had reacted to this insignificant molecule of information at all, it would have been in the form of a tiny glimmer of hope – hope that it was Becca who was trying to contact her.

At leisure, Darcy leaned across the floor and unlocked her screen.

Hey D! Haven’t spoken in so long!? H xxx

Darcy sighed. It was a text from Heather, not Becca.

Heather was a friend of Darcy’s, but not the same as Becca was. Darcy used to think that Heather was the only person she could ever spend any time with whatsoever – they were so similar to each other: they liked the same clothes, music, men. – and agreed on almost every matter that occurred.

But it wasn’t so… deep.

Although Darcy knew very well that she never exactly engaged in particularly deep conversation with anyone, such was her wont; with Heather, it was just so shallow. They had fun together, no doubt, but Darcy couldn’t escape the feeling that if she explained the current situation to Heather, she might be awfully judgemental about it – maybe even look down on her once she saw how Darcy’d stooped so low.  With Becca, there was no judgement… or at least, she didn’t feel there was. That’s why Darcy liked Becca so much. That’s why she felt she ought to spend more time with her. 

Darcy sighed again.

It is funny how you realise another part of your life is imperfect after realising the first.

First, Darcy questioned who she was, and then questioned who she was friends with.

Speaking of which, she couldn’t just sit around all day and wait for Becca to call her, could she? She had to do it herself.

Taking the mobile in her hand and standing up, she dialled the number she knew so well in an emergency – and I don’t mean 999.

But; Darcy thought as she was waiting; it wasn’t fair to burden Becca with how she’d chosen the worst possible date in the world for her. She must ask how Becca's date went… if it ‘went’ at all.

“Hey, Darcy.” – Becca’s voice sounded on the other end.

“Hey, Becca!” said Darcy enthusiastically. “So… how did it go?”

“Don’t you want me to ask you that?”

“No, no, we’re focusing on you. How did it go?” she repeated. For once, she really didn’t want the focus on her; not now.

“Well, when I saw… her, I was a little…”

“Blown away? Speechless? Mesmerised?” Darcy suggested.

“… shocked, Darcy. I was shocked.”

“Well, that’s a given, I suppose.” Darcy conceded.

“Hmm. Of course I was unsure at first, but…”

“But…?” Darcey encouraged.

There was a silence.

“Darcy, could I come around? I need to talk to you in person, I think; that would be best.”

“Oh! Alright, sure.” Replied Darcy, a little taken aback by her deadly serious and slightly nervous tone.

“Bye, Darcy.” – the phone went dead.

Darcy slumped down. It felt strangely… good, not to just be talking about her own issues. She felt a strange surge of an unnamed emotion – she couldn’t pinpoint what it was called, and so gave up after a short moment; then prepared her flat for Becca’s visit.