Scars

Chapter Four

"What's wrong, Hotch?" I asked him. He put his hands on his hips and let out a deep breath. "Aaron."

"Mikey, I don't want this to be awkward for you," he said. I had to let out a laugh.

"Hotch, it won't be awkward for me. We were friends ages ago. Is it going to be awkward for you?" I asked him. I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable. I wanted to do what I loved with people I loved. The team had already welcomed me, and I didn't want it to change because of my history with him.

"I don't think so," he said as he ran a hand through his hair, making it unruly. It was a good look on him, but I didn't want to bring that up now. He rushed over to me and embraced me in his arms. "I missed you, Sara." I was shocked by the sudden contact. He let go when I realized I didn't hug him back.

"Aaron," was all I could manage. My thoughts were running wild and I didn't quite know what was going on.

"I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. It's just when you walked through the door, all the past came rushing back. I never wanted to hurt you like that. I just knew you needed to start fresh when you moved," he said to me. I started to tear up.

"Aaron, I was trying to help you. I cared about you. I still do," I said quietly to him. I could sense that seeing me brought back some memories of his father that he didn't want.

"Mikey, you were the only one who knew," Hotch said under his breath. I put my hand on his cheek and he closed his eyes. I felt a tear fall down my cheek. Hotch puts on a hard persona because of his past. He really has a heart of gold and is very vulnerable.

"I know. It was something you tried so hard to hide. You have grown into an amazing man," I said. He let out a small laugh. He was doing his denying everything. "Look at me." I put my left hand on his face and forced him to look at me. I didn't care that I had started crying. He had seen me at my worst, and I had seen him at his. He finally opened his eyes and saw that I was crying.

"Mikey," he whispered.

"Don't worry about it. Aaron Phillip Hotchner you are an amazing man. And an even better father. You are nothing like him. I want you to know that. You need to believe that," I said to him. He let out a breath.

"But I'm not even around for Jack. Haley raised him and now Haley's sister is raising him. I'd hardly call that being better," Hotch said. I could tell this is the first time he's brought it up in years.

"Did Haley not know of your fears? Did you not tell her your history?" I asked him. He shook his head. That caught me by surprise. How did Haley not know what his father did to him?

"Mikey, you were the only one who knew what Sean and I went through," Hotch said. Sean was Hotch's younger brother who didn't get a lot of the abuse since Aaron's father died while he was still a child. Sean and Aaron don't get along because Aaron left for boarding school when Sean entered elementary school.

"Aaron, I really appreciate you. You're amazing but we really must get going. We can talk about this when we get back from the case. I'm here now and I don't plan on leaving," I said to him. I smiled and he wiped the tears from my cheeks. He let a small half smile play across his lips. missed Hotch and I wanted him to be happy.

"That's my Mikey, always thinking of others," Hotch said. I put my arms around him and squeezed. He was my best friend for years and I had truly missed him. I let go and patted him on the shoulder.

"Others are more important than me. We need to find the person who's hurting these girls," I said. He sat down at his desk and I sat on his desk next to him. I grabbed his iPad from the other side of the desk and opened it to the case file.

"So, what did you mean when you and Reid said that they're modifying the bodies?" Hotch asked me. I sighed and looked over the pictures again.

"He's making them stay at a certain weight. He's starving them until they're the ideal weight. Or he's feeding them until they're the correct weight. If you look at the autopsy reports, all the victims are between 143-147 pounds. That's too close of a weight to just be coincidence. And if you'll look at the stomach contents of all the victims, they're relatively the same. Bread, butter, and potatoes. They were very dehydrated," I said to him. I know it was a lot of information at once, but it just started pouring out.

"Wow," was all Hotch said. I laughed and stood up.

"Sorry, it just came out," I said sheepishly. I looked at my watch. "Let's get going to the jet before they leave without us." I stood up and walked to the door.

"Mikey," Hotch said. "This stays between us." I nodded.

"I've never told another soul, Hotch. I don't plan on starting now," I said to him and smiled. I wanted him to be able to trust me.