delude || oikawa.t x reader

|25| first and forgotten encounter

(F/n) (L/n) is the unknown author of a book titled 'Boring'.

She stood on the rooftop of Aoba Johsai. She registers the blue sky as a sign of how pathetic she is, being an excluded color in the world people claim to be wondrous. She proclaims herself to be an author that leaves traces of blood by a corpse, a beautiful combination indeed for the strained human. 

A published novel, and an inspirational diary that is indeed the source of 'Boring' itself. A blind future she hates, she stays inside her own shelter built by the dust of her own fear, under the creaking melancholy that screams her lack of worth to stand on her own feet in this world. 

Idly, she held onto the railings. Letting the breeze enter her pitiful state and her heart that remains empty, or has it withered ages ago? She wishes she has the answer to that.

Humans are the same, because they are all different. To walk in between those humans she can never understand to the core of their deepest secrets terrifies her, and to just search for one's unnecessary personality in a written form within her mentality sounds troublesome. The world works in such unfairness, she could cry and scream until her lungs goes dry about how much the world would always favor people in random. 

Even when she is breathing now, there are most likely to be hundreds of people dying. Including dead babies inside their mothers' stomach, or poor beings those rich belittle of. She wishes to help everyone but she can not even help the person she loves. Leaving him lifeless inside the soil that will eventually be moisturized by the clean water from the rain, turning it murky. 

She hears the door creak, slowly opening it to reveal a brunet wearing the uniform of Aoba Johsai. 

Perfect, that's the fitting word to describe him.

His gaze fell onto her as they made eye contact for a mere second. Hers is engraved with melancholy and regret while his is stuffed with the curiosity of a child and the attentiveness of a of a mentalist. He peers himself further down into her emotions by a whim and he means it when he says he sees through everything she tries to cover. 

He smiles at the author. 

Thus, he led his foolish curiosity into a horrendous and unidentified bitter feeling that she swallows resembling bitter pills. Such hideous colors intersects her beauty in such a gainsaying way that abolishes his butterflies that he had not noticed the slightest. His fingers were still attached to the knob, and he watches her with uneasiness. 

Her, she worships his beauty. As much as looks are unnecessary to one's feelings, he truly is what she calls to be the very embodiment of extravagant. Looking down, she sighs. Finishing her analysis of the pretty stranger unbeknownst to him that he is the reason of poking more reasons for her to stay alive. He smiles, awkwardly closing the door as he places his palm on his chest, listening to his rapidly beating heartbeat.

Oikawa Tooru feared the girl whom is full of such unknown things that he is aware of its capability to kill a lost stray cat. An unusual and awkward encounter that makes his heart pound without a certain rhythm following it. The irresistible throbbing heart and the butterflies of his says otherwise to the terror. 

(F/n) (L/n) admired him ever since. She sees through his light and those beautiful flowers of his that never seems to wither like the others. Extending her heart to the beauty itself she could never waver from. 

His endeavor to become better in volleyball, is indeed very admirable. He who shines brighter than the others in the eyes of a mere girl who sees herself as a lump of meat walker oh-so mindlessly is astonishing. She sees him rival with the people on the other side of the net as his foes would follow him like the true leader whom she believes to have the authority of the whole court like a star. 

It was the inevitable, eventually her small heart would have bloomed for him like the fresh lemons on a garden. 

But she who does not want to repeat the grievous stairs she used to walk through repents her sins nor does she has no faith on believing that someone who is as magnificent as Oikawa Tooru would ever even acknowledge her was almost a perfect combination to shatter any hope remaining. 

That is, until Tooru decided to include himself in (F/n)'s future. 

Everyone is different, and that makes them the same. As we are combined within numerous of colors, in the end we are nothing more than mere humans who yearns for something they find to be crucial beside their future. She had lost every interest regarding humans and their difference some calls to be fascinating and noteworthy, she had lost interest yet she ended up walking around them in fear. 

But even in between the withered flowers, something shall bloom in this unsightly landscape.

[ n o t e ]

thank you  for reading.  i apologize  if there were any
mistakes  in  the fanfic,  or if oikawa  came off as ooc.
i hope for those who has their own troubles, can find
better things   in   life  from  this   fanfic itself  if that's
even  possible, lol. but  really, thank  you  my dear <3.