Reborn

Breakfast and Tea

The following morning I get up ready to go. I had my usual bout of nightmares but I expected them. It makes me dread going to the Spring Court, not wanting to have reoccurring nightmares of the night I lost my mother. The night I. Well, the night I died.

I'm up before the others so I quietly get myself ready, grabbing the few books I love more than the others and placing them carefully between the few clothes that I am taking, making sure not to bend the covers.

Books had become a bit of a safe-haven for me, other than Az that is. I hadn't seen him since I spoke about going to the Spring Court the other day, which was nagging at the back of my head, wanting to see him before I leave. I thought about Azriel more than I would care to admit. I've almost always found him comfortable, safe. He makes me at ease and makes me smile almost constantly. Not only that but I make it my goal to make him smile, or chuckle. Cauldron! When he laughs it makes me so happy. It makes me feel normal.

I make my way down the stairs towards the small kitchen. We had been in the little cottage rather than up in the House of Wind because it felt somewhat safer than the large tower-like building. It felt further away from the prying eyes of the Court of Nightmares.

I look into the cupboards, trying to find something easy I can have when I feel a presence behind me. I swiftly spin around defensively, poised to attack if necessary but quickly relax when I see shadows swirling around me. I smile slightly looking over at him. At Azriel. "I didn't think you'd come" I say to him quietly, aware that the others may still be sleeping, but also unsure of what to say to him, worried that he might be mad.

The slight smile he had on his face drops, as though he was disappointed I didn't think he'd be here. "Tea?" he asks, walking, around me to grab two mugs. I nod in response, not sure how to take his reaction.

After a minute of silence I look up at him as he seems to loom over me – in a non-threatening way- and ask "Are you mad at me?"

I silently berate myself for sounding like a child needing his approval, but at the same time I feel as though I couldn't leave knowing that I had made him angry. He looks down at me in confusion, "No. I am not."

He sighs, "Are you sure you want to do this? To go there?" he asks.

"Not really" I give a small half smile. "But it's too late now" I joke, as I turn away to the table.

Azriel grabs my arm softly and spins me towards him, a serious look on his face. "You want to stay, or come back, at any time, and you can. Always. It is never too late to come home." He says, but I almost feel as though he left the sentence unfinished. 'To me'. I furrow my brows, unsure as to why I feel the way I do about him. He's my brothers brother. Obviously not biologically but that's not the point.

"I know." I smile softly to him, resting my hand atop of his, the one still holding onto my arm. I feel the shadows circling my wrist as his thumb caresses the side of my arm in circular motions. Neither of us break eye contact. His hazel eyes stare at me intently as though he can see straight through me, and maybe he could. For the first time in a long time I felt like I knew someone I didn't have to, or want to, hide from.

Suddenly I feel another pair of eyes on me, breaking our gaze as I quickly turn my back and press it up against Azriel's chest as he wraps an arm around my waist, not having realised that we had moved closer to one another.

"Did I interrupt?" Cassian mocks, tilting his head at us, looking at Az knowingly. I glare at him slightly but don't make to move away from Az, making Cassian's grin grow.

"What's for breakfast?" Cassian asks as he sits in my seat, sliding one of my books over.

At that moment Rhys and Feyre walk into the kitchen hand in hand, Rhys raising an eyebrow at me and Az. I blush slightly and make to move away, going to grab the mug of tea Az had made for me as a bit of an excuse. I move over to the table, glaring at Cassian until he moves.

It doesn't take long for him to move away, making room for me as I silently sit down and sip at my drink, sending a small smile in Az's direction as a thank you. Rhys comes over with a plate of food and places it in front of me.

"You didn't have to do that" I say to him.

"I wanted to. And at least that way I know you've eaten some food." He replies.

I raise an eyebrow at him, ignoring the last comment he made, knowing that there may be more jabs at Tamlin to come.

"Who's taking me?" I ask openly, not sure how I'm gonna get there, or at least the who with part.

"I will" Rhys responds and I deflate a little, not that I don't love my brother but I don't want to leave Azriel, just thinking about it hurt. "Need to make sure he plans on taking care of you."

"I can take care of myself."

"I know. But I'm still going to threaten him...slightly." Rhys smirks.

The others all grumble in agreement. Az staying silent and brooding in the corner, glaring slightly at Rhys and Cassian. Cauldron only knows what they did to get on his nerves, mind you that's not a hard feat for Cassian. I roll my eyes at them, knowing that they have their reasons. Hell if I kill him as soon as I see him on this visit I have plenty enough reason to do so.

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Once I've eaten my food I get up and we get ready to go, saying goodbye to Cassian, Mor – who showed up halfway through breakfast – and Feyre. I follow Rhys outside with Azriel slowly trailing behind.

"You ready?" Sandy asks as he looks at me. I could see the concern in his eyes. I nod but look over to Az, knowing that we haven't yet said goodbye. I look back to Rhys and he softly smiles at me and nods his head towards Azriel.

I make my way over to Az, smiling up to him. "Hi" I say.

He smiles back at me "Hi."

I look down awkwardly and fiddle with my hands, "well, bye I guess." I had never been this nervous, what is wrong with me?

Az looks like he's trying not to laugh and I furrow my brows, did he hear that? I question myself.

"You need me, I'll be there. You don't and I'll still be there." He says, I see how serious he is about this and nod.

"I need you and I'll shout" I grin at him, noticing that we somehow began holding hands, as though he had grabbed them to calm me down and to stop me from fidgeting.

I nod up at him and reluctantly walk back to Sandy, taking one last longing, yet resigned, look over my shoulder at Az, I grab Rhys' arm and he winnows us to the Spring Court.

(AN – Nyx can winnow but she's still figuring things out. Also I promise we actually are at the Spring Court in the next chapter I just thought a bit more Azriel was needed)