Faint Secrets- A delena fanfiction

Secrets Gone

The thunder rolls. The lightning strikes. The wind is dry and harsh in the small town of Mystic Falls. In a cottage far beyond the trees and the silent pond, a young, or rather old, man sits in the darkness, the only light in the room from a dimly lit fire in the hearth. An immense sadness is setting in around. Not very far from the cottage, lies a girl in her chambers, in a place filled with strangers, the tears falling from her once warm brown eyes like the petals of the white lilies on her bedside table. Far from there but only a few doors down lies a girl in love in the arms of a man in love. One of them sleeps while the other is restless, thoughts pounding away at their fragile-like mind. The same exact thought though, the one nagging all of them; just how quickly the night changes.
4 hours ago
Elaina closes the diary slowly, hot tears streaming down her cheeks. Suddenly, she hears the door begin to open and quickly puts the book down, dabbing the tears from under her eyes with a handkerchief just as Damon steps in. Damon, the love of her life, her soulmate. A vampire. "Well good evening Miss Elaina-" she turns to face him, and he notices her eyes are puffy and red, like she had been crying. It is then Damon catches a glimpse of what looks like his diary under the armchair, and he knows that she knows. For what feels like a long time, they just stand and stare at each other. Nothing to do. Nothing to say. Flashes of what he wrote in his entries come back to him in the form of chills down his spine. Damon can only pray that she hadn't read all of it but by the look on her face, the look of such betrayal and hurt on her beautiful angelic face, the worst is already known. She watches him, watching her, but all she can feel is anger, and betrayal, and sadness, and an ache like a pressure inside her chest, the ache of loving someone who kept everything from you for so long, for trusting someone, for...caring. If only she didn't care so much, but a part of her doesn't regret, can't regret, doing so. Finally, a sound in the deafening silence. "Damon," tears are threatening to spill, so she stops speaking before they can.
"Elena, talk to me, what happened?" He hates how he has to inquire upon something already known, but she doesn't know that. Carefully and slightly shakily, Elaina stoops down and picks up the diary. She flips to a page, and by the look of it, the very last one. Damon's heart drops, and inside, he has never felt more dead than in this moment. It takes her a moment and a few shaky breaths, but she begins to read aloud what was written on the page;
"March 30th, 1863
My heart is heavy laden tonight. Stefan and I went on a raid in a small village in Northern Italy. I thought maybe if I could just let go, maybe my internal pain and suffering would cease to be a bother to me. That was a folly idea, for tonight just made it worse. I was looking for my brother, when I came upon a darkened alleyway. There was Stefan, with what looked like a-" Elaina's breathing hitches momentarily, and her eyelids lay closed. She takes in some breath, opens them and continues. Damon watches and listens, pale blue eyes aglow with sadness and regret. "Middle aged woman pinned up against the wall, and a young woman beside them, hiding her face in her knees, sobbing. In that moment, I did what was probably the most horrible thing I've ever done in my life; I stood there and watched from a distance as he tore her neck open, the Crimson blood washing over the stone pavement, and when I could clearly see that he was finished, I approached him. He was going after the girl next, and before he did, she looked up, her warm brown eyes locking onto my ice blue ones with a look that simply said 'please' and I knew in that moment, that I couldn't let her die. I pushed Stefan out of the way, and helped the young woman to her feet. Then, as I looked at her beautiful face, into those gorgeous innocent eyes, I did what I had to do. I compelled her to forget who it was that murdered her mother, and ultimately, forget who it was that saved her life, and I told her to run away and find some place safe. She nodded, and ran, and I watched her skirts billow and the wind tousle her long, dark ringlets as she went. I am a monster, a monster that could never be loved." She finishes, and calmly places the diary back on the chair, a tear slipping out gracefully from one eye as she speaks "I don't know what you and stefan really are, but what I do know is that stefan murdered my mother and that you stood by and watched it happen and that you didn't tell me all this time!!" At this point, her voice as escalated to a yell. "You were right about one thing for certain, you are a monster. But you were also wrong because I DID LOVE YOU AND YOU LIED TO ME! " the look on his face is pure guilt. Her voice comes down to a point where it's barely audible, but even if he didn't hear her, he would still know what she was saying. "How could you do this to me, Damon?" The tone is of wanting something that could've been but is no longer. Damon takes a small step towards her. His eyes latch onto hers, all the emotions that could never be said locked away inside them. "Did?" He whispers, and her face displays confusion.
"What?"
"you do love me or-" he swallows. "You did?" She exhales deeply, looking down at the ground.
"Damon," she breathes.
"Elaina" he slowly inches closer to her and she can feel his warm breath on her face. She shakes her head softly, and he grabs her wrists, rubbing his thumbs in circles on her palms.
"Damon," she takes a deep, shallow, rickety breath. "I believe you know the answer, but I can't do this." She looks into his eyes once more before pulling out of his gentle but controlling grasp. "I have to go...I'm sorry Damon, it's just too much." She turns and grabs her cloak and parasol. Just as she reaches the threshold of the door, he calls out to her. "Elaina." She thinks, just for a moment, that she hears desperation in his voice. His mouth opens as if to say something, but no words are spoken and suddenly she understands. Tears form in her eyes and she nods towards him, giving a trembling reassuring smile.
"I know." With that she leaves the cottage and Damon behind, thoughts a blur, too heart sick to let out a cry. The wind tousles her hair and rips at her day dress as she runs, and he watches, just like the last time he felt his heart tear. He wants to chase after her, to hold her in his arms, to feel the warmth she bestowed on him, but he knows it will do no good. For once in his long life, the things of his past have unrepairable consequences.
The ruby lets off a soft crimson glow from where it sits in her chambers. Elaina picks it up, dainty fingers gently caressing the jewel. Tears spill from her eyes and fall onto it. In a fit of sudden anger and despair, she hurls the stone to the wall, and falls onto the bed, tears racking her breath. Alone. A single thought can make the largest intrusion. Though she has Sarah Elizabeth, there is a void in her heart that can only be associated with loneliness. There are many people in the Salvatore estate, but they are all strangers with blank, dreary eyes, as if this feeling struck them quite some time ago. For now, she cries herself to sleep, the only sound the raging internal thoughts in her head. Thoughts that make everything into ruins.
Her fingers run down his bare torso, feeling the dips of the tight muscles that make it up. His eyes are closed, but is he truly asleep? Her head rests on his chest, hearing his calm, restful heartbeat. She is tired, yet sleep shall not come. Thoughts keep her awake, thoughts about truth, and love, danger and passion, and it is overwhelming. She lies awake until dawn.
The diary hits the dark, brick wall with tremendous force, falling open on the ground. "Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir...open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us, guides us. Passion rules us all, and we obey, what other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments, the joy of love...the clarity of hatred...and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank, without passion, we'd be truly dead." Passion. Although he is already dead, with Elaina, he felt alive again. The bourbon and the crystal glass on the wooden coffee table look quite inviting, the firelight bringing out the amber glow within. He pours himself a glass, and lifts it up in the air slowly, acting as if the universe were laughing at him. "To passion," he says, before downing the glass in a single gulp.

Daybreak comes too quickly, leaving shadows of the night past upon minds. The night that changed too quickly, leaving empty hearts and drunken souls. The crow sits perched on the windowsill, beady eyes staring at the maiden asleep in her bed, cheeks stained with sorrowful tears, watching as another comes in, golden hair in a whirl, and pours her some tea. Smoothing out her day dress, she sits on the edge of the bed and nudges Elaina slightly, waking her up. There is a definite sound of wings flapping and Sarah Elizabeth rushes to the window, only to see what appears to be a crow flying through the vast thickets of willows. "Sara Beth, what was that dreadful noise?" Still at the window, she shakes her head. "Oh nothing, Elaina dear, 'tis probably just the trees." She shuts the window and returns to Elaina's side. Seeing the face of her friend, Elaina shakes her head softly.
"I do not wish to talk about it." A look of understanding crosses her face then.
"I understand. I laid by stefan last night, but sleep would not come upon me. Instead, I was kept awake by the incessant thoughts in my head. Elaina's brow furrows slightly.
"What kind of thoughts?"
"Fear that our love will not be strong enough to conquer possible future events." She pauses. "But I suppose that I should just have faith, so worrying is pointless really. What about you Elaina, what's been going on in your beautiful mind?" Elaina sighs, trying to gather her thoughts into words.
"I feel, alone, abandoned in a sort of way. I do realize I have you, but I also realized last night that I am surrounded by people and have never felt more, lonely. I don't wish to reside in this boarding house, but I cannot live with Damon anymore. Truthfully, I feel trapped." Sarah Elizabeth conjures up a sudden idea.
"Stefan knows someone, a man known by the name of Elijah, who owns property just outside the estate. I can inquire of him if he would mind if you stayed with him." Elaina's face seems to light up in the slightest bit, but feels a pang in her chest of betrayal she knows is wrong. After all, Sarah Elizabeth doesn't know what Stefan did.
"Would you really? Oh, that would be splendid!" She smiles, half fake and half genuine, but her best friend doesn't seem to notice.
"It would be my pleasure! I shall see to it straight away." She hugs Elaina tightly with glee. "Do not be too sad while I'm away, I'm sure everything will work out for the best." Elaina nods, wanting to believe her words. Yes, perhaps everything will work out for the best eventually.