These characters do not belong to me, and I am just using them for my selfish reasons.
Hello People!
This is my first fanfic, yay, so please give me criticism! I know I know giving criticism is hard, but I need it so my writing can become better.If you're not sure where to start with said criticism how about how accurately I portrayed the characters, and what you think they should have done.
Thanks to anyone who is bothered to read this, no smut in this chapter but I'm building up to it ;)
let's get started.
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"It was the bus driver" Sherlock said in his usual monotone voice as he turned on the spot to face Lastrade."Please" scoffed Anderson from the corner of the small dark room "why would a bus driver kill someone who he has never met"
Sherlock closed his eyes for a second and sighed before speaking "I said she didn't know the killer, not she hadn't met him" he turns slowly to face Anderson, "Look, in her pocket, there's an annual bus pass, so he is someone who sees her regularly and knows her schedule, plus the fact that there is a distinct smell that comes from the oil of the skin reacting the rubber found on the steering wheel of most London busses" Sherlock said flatly.
"she gets on the bus every day and comes face to face with a killer and doesn't even know it" John says sadly.
"But why would the bus driver want to kill a costumer" Lastrade asked Sherlock, a slightly confused look crossing his tanned face.
"Drugs" Sherlock said still sounding bored.
"I'm sorry were do drugs come in?" asked John, his eye brows pulling together in a frown.
Sherlock smiled to himself, he liked when he could show off especially to John.
He quickly walked over to the corpse of the dead woman, pointing with one slender finger "hands where shaky, clearly slightly high judging by the way her body was further beaten after the first strike to the head, wich would have left her unconscious" Sherlock picked up her wallet and began to look through it more carefully "which means he took something"
"How do you know he took something?" Lastrade asked
"Scotland yard must be losing its streak" Sherlock retorted "even a child of limited intelligence can see the blow to the back of the head is positioned so the victim could not see the attacker, furthermore the strike was precise as to only knock out the victim, this means the attacker wanted to check for something before killing her, he obviously found it and proceeded to take what ever it was, most likely drugs, and destroy the rest, wich just happened to be this lady here"
"Right" Lastrade nodded "we'll check all the buss she got on and the bus drivers"
"Good" Sherlock said as he turned on his heal and heading for the door "good-bye George"
"Greg" Lastrade huffed, scowling at Sherlock's back.
"Yes, come on John" Sherlock replied unconcerned as he walked out the door.
John gave Greg a sympathetic look before following Sherlock out of the dark room.
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Wow first fanfic Chapter
Thanks for reading this far, and remember CRITICISM!
(Or just leave a comment so I know you have read it)Some fluff hopefully in the next chapter ;)
YOU ARE READING
Drowning
FanfictionFirst of all the cover of this fanfic was done by arkarti on tumblr, you should definitely go and look at her work (it is truly the best I have ever seen), you can also find her on Twitter @arkartiart and on YouTube under arkarti, but anyway go and...