Beyond Repair (Min Yoongi)

11. Going Through The Motions

Originally, Yoongi was the only one Seokjin had intended to allow to sleep in the next morning. Namjoon had been right, the night before, about them needing to get back on a sleep schedule in their own time zone. When he rounded the dividing shelf of the bedroom, however, and saw Yoongi sleeping soundly with Jimin curled protectively around him, Seokjin couldn't find it in himself to pull them apart.

Little did he know the huge favour he was doing Jimin.

For Jimin, falling asleep had been the easy part. Pretending all was well grew significantly more difficult when he woke up so many times in the night to Yoongi shaking, begging in his sleep for someone not to hurt him, that he'd be good, please, he didn't want to be punished, not again. All Jimin had been able to do was run his fingers through Yoongi's hair and pull him close, keeping his ministrations slow and gentle and his voice soft as he assured Yoongi that everything would be okay—even when Jimin didn't know it himself—until the traumatised boy woke up in tears and then fell back asleep.

By the time Yoongi woke up on his own, it was just past eleven in the morning and Jimin had been awake for what must have been at least a half-hour, keeping perfectly still and keeping his breathing even, emitting what he hoped was a peaceful aura so Yoongi would stay asleep for as long as possible.

"Good morning," Jimin quietly greeted when he saw Yoongi blink his bleary eyes open.

Yoongi's whole body tensed when he realised the position he was in, tucked snugly against Jimin's chest, their limbs tangled together. But before he could have another panic attack, Jimin pulled away, terminating all physical contact but making sure to keep looking Yoongi directly in the eyes to ground him. Yoongi instantly missed the warmth of the embrace but he didn't know why. He pulled the blanket tighter around himself but soon realised that wasn't the kind of warmth he was looking for.

"I'm sorry."

Jimin blinked in surprise, propping himself up on one elbow. "For what?"

"For burdening you," Yoongi said. He could feel his face growing steadily redder the longer they lay there.

"You're not a burden," Jimin said.

Yoongi cast his eyes down.

Jimin reached up to brush a piece of hair out of Yoongi's eyes. The movement was slow enough that Yoongi had time to brace himself for it, but when it happened, he forgot his initial anxiety at the prospect of being touched. He didn't know what was going on. It didn't make any sense. It was like a switch had been flipped inside of him—just yesterday, he had flinched every time someone so much as came too close, and now, he found himself yearning for contact.

Not just any contact. Jimin.

Yoongi caught Jimin's hand in one of his own before it could leave his face, and he simply held it there for a minute. Slowly, tentatively, doubting himself more and more with every passing second, Yoongi slid his hand up to grasp Jimin's wrist until he was clinging to Jimin's arm with everything he had.

"I'm...is this...okay?" Yoongi asked.

Jimin frowned a little, unsure of what to make of all of this. "I was just about to ask you that." He hadn't been expecting Yoongi to initiate touch. A part of Jimin hoped this was a step in the right direction, but then he remembered that before everything had happened, Yoongi would never have asked permission for something as simple as a hug, nor spoken in that anxious tone. "It's okay with me," he eventually said. "Are you okay?"

Yoongi nodded, letting to of Jimin to tuck his hands back into his own chest. He closed his eyes so his tears wouldn't show. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Jimin asked again, a little alarmed. "I just said it was okay."