what you know about love?

One.

Imari Jordan
"𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑡. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑠𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑡.

Sometimes I don't know how to feel I have my good days, and I have my bad days.

But lately, the bad days been outweighing the good.

I really wish that one night never happened, but it did.

I really wish four dudes didn't take the most precious thing I had, but they did.

I always kept the day to myself never spoke or look back at it.

However, it's been eating me up inside lately.
I can't eat without thinking about it.
I can't sleep without thinking about it.

But, the one thing I told myself was I will never let anybody see me down.

Why? Because people don't see me as a down person people see me as a happy will do anything for you personally, and I loved that.

I want people to see me like that, if I could just stop all these bad thoughts I would.

It's crazy I went from loving myself to hating myself.

Every time I look in the mirror all I saw was a broken person.

Even though it was me in the mirror I seen a different person.

Sometimes I wish I had somebody to talk to, somebody who wouldn't judge me.

But I don't , and the way I felt towards guys was ridiculous I had no respect for a none of them.

I always told myself I don't know what love is.

And most likely I was going to keep it that way.

Kane Harris
"𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝐼 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑, 𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐼 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑒𝑙𝑡."

I remember sitting in the living room with my big brother Jaylin, and my little brothers Kam and Chris.

And all we heard was our parents screaming at each other.

" You're a liar and cheater Kane and I'm done with you," I remember my mother saying.

My daddy then grab my momma by her hair and started beating her right in front of us. With every hit, he looked angry like he wanted to kill her.

He stops when he realized he was doing it in front of us, but by the time he stops my momma was passed out bleeding.

My daddy started beating my mom so badly she turns to drugs every day I watch her pop pills, and every day I watch my dad beat her It never got better.

One day we went to school and the teacher noticed something wasn't right with us.

They end up calling CPS and they saw the environment we lived in.

We got taken away that same day.

They put us in foster care and I remember my big brother Jaylin telling them we couldn't get split up and he made that shit very clear.

They end up putting up in this foster home where we could all stay together.

There was a total of 10 kids in that house.

Our foster mother was mean she only got the kids for money.

Sadly for me, she used to molest me every day and told me if I told anybody she would split me and my brother up.

So I stay quiet.

I and our brothers end up meeting Major both of his parents died in a car crash.

He became our brother and we all were closed.

When Jaylin turns 18 he got custody of all of us and we moved into this apartment.

Jaylin showed me how to cook shit up and make money fast, we ended up getting good at it.

When I turned 20 I got in my first real relationship
Everything seems good, but one night I made a mistake and cheat.

She found out I cheated and I remember her exact words.

" you're going to regret cheating on me," at the time I didn't know what she meant.

But two days later I got a call saying Jaylin was dead.

That bitch set my brother up and got him killed.

She knew how close we were, so she took him from me.

She texts my phone and said,
" I told you that you were going to regret cheating on me.."

A day later she came up missing, then two days later she was pronounce dead.

So if you look closely every female in my life has let me down.

That why I don't trust trust females, to me all they are worthless.

And I'm going to keep it that way.

I wrote all that in my journal, it might sound weird that I have one but it helps me.

I sat and thought to myself that I probably won't ever love or get married.

To me I feel like love is evil, it breaks you.

So I'm glad I don't know how to love.