| It's Always Been You | Reddie Fanfic |

17

TW- HOMOPHOBIC SLUR/SEXUAL CONTENT

A week passed since Connor died, and the losers were back to school once again. It was Richie's first night alone in the past few days, since his friends stayed over because he was horribly distraught. He was settled in his bedroom, drowned by sadness in the dark with the curtains down. His room was a mess of clothes, but he couldn't see them let alone his own hand. He stumbled over to a pile of dirty clothes he hadn't cleaned in months, threw them into a basket, and threw it in the corner with all his might. Anger ran through his veins when he saw Connor's sweatshirt that the boy wore at least twice a week. After a moment, everything was flying around the black room until he fell to his knees and sobbed. Hands to his face, his shoulders shook, showing the pain he refused to believe could in fact be there.

Images of the deceased boy flew through his mind. His curly hair flying in the breezy air in the early October winds, a dimpled smile crossing his face when Richie would do one of his idiotic british accents.

The floor of flooded clothes enveloped the warm, shaking body of Richie. He wailed, letting the noise echo through his ears and out the window into passing strangers' ears. The deep navy blue sweatshirt was soaked in tears and saliva after just minutes of being hugged into the boy's chest, of which he wished would stop beating.

-

"Con?" Richie called into an empty hallway. "I'm going to find you, dumbass," he joked, peeking his head into another empty room.

Finally, after checking his own and Connor's bedrooms, he reached the end of the hall, his parents' room. A drowning sadness overwhelmed him as he thought of his parents. The two had been gone for over a month, leaving only a small note on their dining room table that read:

Dear Richie, I'm sorry. The house bills will be paid for, and we'll send you money, but that is all that you will hear from us again. Don't try to contact us again, goodbye.

The memory was so vivid, waking up to find no parents and a note leaving him behind. All because of him and what he said, they left him. They left their only son, not because it was safer in Derry, how could it be? They left him because he was him.

Richie sunk back on the floor just outside the cracked door. He stayed there for a bit, until it opened, revealing his boyfriend. "Rich?" He bent his knees, throwing his arm over the boy. "Are you okay?" No response. Connor flopped backwards, pulling Richie onto his chest. His hand ran through the deep hair below his chin.

"They left." The boy choked out, "they just... left." He threw his arms around Connor's waist. "I wasn't enough for them to stay."

Connor rubbed Richie's back with his left hand, stroking past small bumps on the breezy polyester button-up he wore. "They did leave, but not because of you. They left because they fucking suck, okay? They're suck ass, so called parents." He chuckled a bit, "Who the hell- fun suckers, that's what they are, little..." He thought for a moment, "little bum nuggets."

"Bum nuggets?" A smile broke the skin between the tear streaks on Richie's cheeks. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means they can suck a butt nugget." The two chuckled, only to lay in silence for the remainder of the 10 minutes that they had to play hide-and-seek before they met with the losers.

"I love you Richie," Connor said, watching Richie walk out the door he held open, leaving a peck on the boy's head.

"I love you too, babe, now get out here!" He pulled the blond boy's arm, looping him into a small hug. They met each other's lips for a close few seconds, and then began to walk.