| It's Always Been You | Reddie Fanfic |

18

"I'll get it!" Eddie dropped his fork, and rushed over to his door. "Richie?" He questioned, a confused look on his face. "Are you okay?" The boy's shoulders began shaking violently and he bursted into tears. Eddie grabbed his sleeve and pulled him into the small home, wrapping him in a hug.

"He's gone" Richie cried, not noticing the woman glaring at him from the kitchen. "He- He's really gone." The words struggled to make it out of his mouth.

"Who's gone?" Sonia asked, disgusted by the sight of her son so intimate with another man. It was unnatural in her eyes. No men were to be sensitive, especially not like that.

The smaller boy pulled away and spun to face his mother. He hesitated for a moment and pulled away from Richie to whisper, "His father left him," in such a low voice that it was a miracle Sonia even heard him. She had a sort of look on her face that said "I would've done the same", which was cruel, even for the fat lady.

"So that's why you've been hanging around those kids again lately. I thought I told you I didn't like you with them. Especially this one." She pinned her upper lip into a snare, burning a hole into Richie's face, wishing it would melt away. For a moment, she thought about how her dad had walked out on her as well, but she shook off the idea and went back into the kitchen grumbling something about how much it makes sense that Wentworth had left. "One night. You stay tonight then get the fuck out. I know all about you and that queer boyfriend of your's." The cupboards shook as she slammed them open. "And don't touch my son. Don't need those disgusting germs around him."

A few hours had passed, and the boys were preparing to sleep after having watched a child friendly movie that Sonia ever so happily picked out.

"That was an absolute shitshow." Richie sighed, leaning into Eddie's door frame that led into his room.

"Shut up," Eddie pushed the boy into his room, "My mom's going to hear you." He threw his door shut, and hopped onto his bed. "You alright?" Eddie began to notice a change in emotion in the boy next to him. Richie now had his hand up to his tear ducts as he shrivelled down onto the light, carpeted flooring, letting the wall slide up his shirt.

"Eddie... Connor-" Richie began choking on the bile that was clumping in his throat, "He's dead. He's really..." For a second time that night, the boy broke down to tears, letting only one word slip out. "Gone." Eddie leaped from his bed and rushed down to his knees to pull his best friend into a warm, comforting hug. There wasn't much he could do other than stay there on the floor, rubbing his arm and holding on tighter than anyone ever gave the thought to do for Richie.

Every word and every whisper Eddie spoke filled the silent room. Nothing could break the tension, nor could anything heal the pain. There was a cold breeze flowing through the windows and hitting each boy's showing skin. It refreshed the hot air inside while the burning cold hurt everyone in about a 50 mile radius. Cowering cries from Richie were muffled with the whistles from the outdoors, making him feel once again small and useless. Chills went up his spine and his shaking only got worse from there. Feeling had been replenished on this chilly March evening, the feeling they'd both wished was never even there. Naturally, Eddie began to cry tears of empathy and the floor began to squeak just the tiniest bit; just enough to wake up a chubby lady a few doors down.

"I'm sorry, Eds," Richie choked, looking up at the dazed boy. He nuzzled his head into his friend's chest and let out shallow breaths. "I didn't..." He trailed off, trying to understand how he was feeling. Crying was never an option for him when he was younger, so when he was able to now, he felt like he'd never stop.

"It's alright, just breath," Eddie reassured him, rubbing his hands through the tangled strands of greasy hair that was hardly taken care of on normal days, much less one like this. He took his small fingers and slowly detangled every little knot he came across. Due to the grease, they came back in seconds, but he was trying his best. While doing this, he thought of what to say to help. "I love you, Rich" no, no, definitely not, Eddie thought. When he finally settled on what to say, Richie was staring up at him. There was no time for the boy to say the right words, and he mumbled the one thing he was so prominently against, "I'm in love with you, Rich." The words were such a surprise that he pulled his hands to cup his mouth, eyes wide in an odd sort of fear. It's not like he hadn't said something similar to the boy for years, but this... this exact thing is what Richie absolutely didn't need, and he knew that. For a moment he pulled away from the boy whose dark wood eyes just dazzled in the dim light, "I-I'm s-suh-sorry," he stuttered from nearly a foot away.

Richie held no emotion that Eddie could read, which was incredibly bothersome to the boy. The two sat there for a moment, waiting for the other to speak. Richie's damp fingers wrapped behind the nape of Eddie's neck and he pulled himself up. His next hand was carefully placed around the same boy's slim waist. Thoughts swirled in the taller boy's head, he didn't know what to do, or what to say, or even if he should say anything. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to forget the boy who so helplessly died just a week before. His bloody and disfigured body lay at the front of Richie's mind like usual, except this time, he wanted it to go away. Just this once, he wanted a moment to do what he had wished for on his 13th birthday in Bill's rundown basement. As he hoped, the body dissolved into a clear dark path to the boy in front of him. He opened his eyes to see a doe eyed boy staring at him, like a deer in the headlights, just waiting to be hit.

"I-I'm in love with you too," Richie whispered, growing ever so much closer to the pink lips of his one and only best friend. He waited for the consent to go forward, which he quickly received by the overwhelming feeling of Eddie Kaspbrak's own lips on his. The floor squeaked once more, a bit louder this time, but the two were so caught up in the moment that there was no way for them to notice or to care. Eddie pressed his right hand on the upside of Richie's head and his left on Richie's sharp cheekbone.

Everything felt clear. The sky felt light and full of stars that they could easily reach and moons that took up miles of skies, planets away. Every door flew open and through each one was a perfect pathway that both of them wanted to pass down. Windows shattered, leaving an out for every fight and bad memory left in their minds. Symphonies blasted in their heads, violins kissing their ears and trumpets stroking their temples. Everything was perfect, until Eddie Kaspbrak's door flew open.

Neither boy noticed the lady with a large width standing in the doorway until she shrieked. "GET AWAY FROM MY SON!" The two boys broke apart, startled in fear and love. "AND GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FAGGOT!"

Richie cringed at the grossly overused term. He was used to being called it by his school bullies and other people in his life that didn't actually mind if the word hurt him or not, which it did. He scrambled to his feet and stared at the angry Sonia with a fearful expression. She took this as a challenge and swiped her hand across his face, causing him to stumble backwards and almost onto the feminine boy's fingers. "DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? OR ARE YOU DEAF TOO?!" The noise was ghastly and to anyone who could hear it, sounded like the shrill of a demonic being.

Richie panicked, composed himself, and began to run out of the house. Heavy footsteps followed close behind, just to make sure he was really gone, for real. He opened the rusty old door violently and rushed away. Sonia was quick enough to get one last stinging sentence out at him, "If I were your father, I would have left too." This was no doubt what she was mumbling earlier, but had she kept it to herself, maybe this moment wouldn't be as terrifying.

~~~~~~

Word Count - 1,539

Ah! It's been over a week (sorry about that). I've been binging mixtape and school's been kinda crazy. I have it on campus, which is a lot, but hopefully I pass... Hope you all understand and are staying really safe!

Best wishes,

Em