1. Waking Up Alone •

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The past is your lesson.
The present is your gift.
The future is your motivation.

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I woke up in the middle of the night, from the sound of my own screaming.

My heart felt like it could beat its way out of my chest and my body temperature had risen to the point where drops of sweat flowed freely down my skin in a desperate attempt to cool down. Resulting in nothing but more discomfort and cold shivers now ran throughout my body caused by a cool breeze.

I felt scared and confused and had no idea where I was. There was nothing to see except for darkness, so I started feeling around me. Hoping that I would recognize anything that could give me some reassurance.

A soft fabric!
At least I'm not outside in the nature. Only God knows how many times I have woken up in a far away park or forest.

To say that I have a sleepwalking problem would be the understatement of the year.

On multiple occasions I have woken up so many kilometers away from home. Completely lost...

I eagerly waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness so I could search my surroundings for anything familiar.

Excruciating seconds passed by. As my eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness.

I've been hunted for as long as I can remember by uncountable nightmares.

Why can't I ever dream about dragonflies and rainbows or unicorns?

I could now see the moonlight shining through a slightly opened window. The white curtains swayed to the melody of the wind and crickets.

My curtains? This is my room! Thank God!

Now that I was assured of being safely in my own house, a place where no one else could enter, I finally realized exactly how cold the wind was, coming into my bedroom.

I must have forgotten to close the window. I don't even remember opening it, but I also on a daily basis forget where I have left my keys, phone or the remote control of the television. Or walk into a room and completely have forgotten why I came there in the first place, so no surprise there...

I sat up, throwing my feet off the bed while searching for my fluffy slippers. Another fresh breeze circled around my exposed legs, being that I wore a very short pants.

Having slipped into my pink slippers, I walked over to my window and grabbed the handles.

I closed my eyes and inhaled the fresh air deeply before closing them. Appreciating the smell of freshly fallen rain. There was a long road next to our home separating the town from the forest.

A heavenly smell was in the air caused by nature itself.

When I opened my eyes and closed the windows is when I noticed someone outside in the streets. The built of its body told me it was a man, but he had long blonde braided hairs. He just stood there without moving a muscle and it seemed like he was watching me. I couldn't be sure because of the darkness, but a chill ran down my spine at the sight of this man.

As fast as lightning I pulled the curtains tightly and turned around facing my bedroom instead of the creepy figure out on the street. My heart was working over-hours and sped up rapidly for the second time in a short time period.

Was he really looking at me? Or was I being paranoid?

Would he still be there?

Do I dare to look?! No...

Yes! He probably left and having that affirmed would definitely calm down my nerves.

But if he was still standing there I might risk getting a heart attack!

I crawled down on my hands and knees to the side of my curtain and lifted it up slowly. Peeking outside from the corner of my window.

A shriek left my lips and I covered my mouth trying to keep the sound inside.

I duck back down to the ground like a soldier hiding behind his sandbags trying to safe his life.

He was definitely still there! And he was DEFINITELY looking at me!

Why did I have to go and look? Instead of just going back to sleep. Stupid!

I facepalmed myself and internally casted more swearwords to myself than needed. I'm still safe inside my home and he is out there. Everything is okay.
Deep breaths!

In through the nose... out through the mouth...

I crawled back to my bed, afraid he would see my shadow moving by the window and catch his attention. I kicked off my slippers and slid between the blankets and pulled the blanket over my head.

I knew it wasn't going to protect me from anything other than the coldness, but it still made me feel safe.

This was not one of my best nights, but it could've been so much worse. At least I woke up in my own bed this time.

I cringed at the memories floating through my mind of me waking up in the strangest places. Some scary, some ridiculously embarrassing to no extent.

I have got to stop reliving the past or worrying about the future. The now is what is important.

And right now I'm healthy and safe.

Encouraging myself with my life motto went in vain as another memorie crossed my mind...

My dream.

My dreams were the only place where different times engulfed each other. Embraced and completed each other.
The present and the now.

I tried to wash off the feeling of those red eyes who had watched me in my dreams, seeming to look straight into my soul. The eyes that I have gotten so used to, but still frighten me just as much. As they watch me, observe me, like a hunting animal would observe their prey right before attacking.

 As they watch me, observe me, like a hunting animal would observe their prey right before attacking

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Slowly I fell back asleep, wishing to never look into those eyes again.

Of course, I knew that there wasn't any way for me to escape them. I could only wait for the day to come. The day my dream would become reality. Just like they always did...

When the future, predicted in the past, would become my present.
Time is such a strange concept.

•🩸•

The first chapter is a fact! Yay

So, thank you for reading. There is still a long way to go...
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Much love!

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