Wild (Cherik Book One)

I've Missed You Around

"I know how it seems between you and me

it hasn't been easy, darlin'"

___________ERIK__________

Erik Lehnsherr was forced to rearrange his life for several reasons. The main reason was rather obvious, although it had just become obvious to him two hours ago. The list still burned quite a big hole in his jean pocket and was synonymous in thought with crimson in his cheeks. His mind wandered to what Charlie's life had been like while he wrote that list. Was he sitting at his desk, humming along to his favorite song? Or was it made in the dark under the flickering glow of his dying book light? Had he read over it to make sure he got everything down or was it made in life threatening urgency? Erik could imagine the happier of the scenarios. The windows all open, Charlie on his patio in the clear morning. The smell of roses and petunias swimming into his nose making him sneeze softly. His concentration was always unwavering when he wrote things down, especially very important things. His nose would scrunch up and his brown curls would flop down in what seemed to be on purpose, causing him to pin them back with whatever clip he could find. Erik never minded this because it always exposed the slight rosiness that would make home on his cheeks. It was almost angelic in the way it contrasted with his bright blue eyes. Erik felt his chest tightened as he leaned against the wall in an attempt to keep casual. Everything inside of him was buzzing feverishly as this new discovery in himself left him all but speechless. It shouldn't be surprising he had admitted years ago he was infatuated with the boy in question. But it had always been a stupid crush reduced to butterflies every time his hand grazed Charlie's or something cheesy like that. The realization that maybe all along it had been something completely different is terrifying. The realization that he might be, no, he is in lo--

    "I know that face, what happened?" his thoughts were cut off as Angel's voice made an appearance. She was standing next to him, apart from the group. Her cup swirled in her hand as she gave him this knowing look. A look that said she almost knew exactly what had happened. Which was more likely than not considering her and Emma had become rather close since Emma's arrival.

    "I...you know when you are so sure of something your entire life and when that certainty is ripped out from under you, you should be scared right?" Erik let his eyes wander curiously to Charlie. Charlie who had seemed to be humming softly to the song playing aloud as his sister continued to serve as his pillow. He was more relaxed now, the struggle to keep up with conversation hadn't gone away but he was at least enjoying himself.

    "I mean it depends. Was this certainty something holding you back or pulling you forward?" Angel inquired which caused Erik to frown. He wasn't exactly sure. He had decided a long time ago to never act on his thoughts or flirt with the line between friendship and something more. It was too dangerous and he far valued his friendship with Charlie over anything else. But, now that all seemed so trivial in comparison to what they have both been through in the past couple of weeks. So, was that certainty holding him back?

    "I'm not sure," Erik admitted and Angel shrugged.

    "I think that a lot of things for us are uncertain and when a certainty is taken away, sometimes it can be scary but it can also be freeing. Look, I have no idea what you are going through in that funny little brain but for the first time in a long time, when I look at you? There's no fog. You actually look so completely sure of yourself. So, maybe, that certainty that's now gone was more of a crutch than anything." Angel speaks softly as she meets his eyes. And Erik nods at her slowly.

    "Now, who wants to play truth or dare?" Angel spoke up abruptly making Erik smile. She always knew when to lighten the mood.

    Erik looked to Charlie who was somewhere else entirely. He looked lost in his eyes, a shakiness that alerted Erik. Charlie gripped the couch cushion and squeezed his eyes shut. Shallow breaths left his pink lips and the movements he made were so subtle it could be easily missed. The signs are so mundane and timid that anyone else would write them off. But, Erik knew well enough. He approached the couch slowly and sat down next to Charlie, being sure to still give him an adequate amount of space. Everyone was moving around them, back and forth conversations thriving. Yet, they remained motionless and silent. Erik found himself looking to Emma who gave him this small knowing look before returning to her conversation with Angel. And before he could rationalize why he shouldn't, Erik let his hand rest atop Charlies. It was a simple gesture, more for the purpose of grounding the boy next to him, but man did it make him feel brave. Charlie jumped at the contact before relaxing slowly.