𝑭𝑬𝑬𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝒀𝑶𝑼

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 𝐌𝐄-chapter 20

He doesn't hesitate and approaches again,
trying to hug me again,

but I push him away from me again and the tears are stronger than me, so I start crying again, Fuck.

"Don't touch me Dust!" I scream, trying to get rid of him, but he just doesn't let me.

"I hate you so much!" I shout again, and he strokes my head, holding my body tightly.

"You dont hate me," he says, deciding for himself.

"Leave me alone," I whisper, I have no power to fight, no more.

"Shhh Hazel, stop resisting," he asks in a whisper with my head on his shoulder ,and I'm doing it not

because of him, because I just can not fight anymore for today.

"Let me go ," I ask in a whisper, but he does'nt let me go.

"Hazel," he whispers as his hand goes down to my waist, I cant stop him.

"I want to feel you so bad,"he says, asking.

"No," I say, my head still on his shoulder.

"I miss you," he says, admitting to something he didn't think he'll admit.

"You left me," I say, remembering that all-too-bad morning, he left me.

I move away from him, he gives me and I pull Buffy.

"You left me Dust, you took my virginity, just as we wanted, but in the next morning, I thought you

would be with me, we would spend more time together, I thought my life was finally getting better,

but you left me, and you left me alone just like you left me a year ago," I unload everything, look at him in the eye, and he does the same.

"Hazel," he whispers, but I don't let it dismantle me again.

"there is no Hazel anymore. you left me when I was 16yo, and I didn't mean to stay here and pity myself until someone will get me out of the anger and sadness."

I say honestly, he doesn't bat an eyelid, he just keeps staring at me.

"When I thought the pain was starting to pass," I keep saying and looking at him, moving away from him.

"When I just thought everything was fine, that even though you said you didn't want to be with me

because I was too young, I still thought that after this night u would stay with me."

He approaches me and raise his hand, but I move away from him again.

"I was supposed to hear that you left from Avery, where 'will u stay my bestie forever?' At this time?

Where 'I am yours and you are mine?' And where 'I'm still here?' 'I'm nervous, angry, and I can't describe how I feel now.

He still looks at me when I'm mad at him.

"Hazel, you're still—" he begins and I interrupt him.

"No," I know what he meant.

"I'm not a fucking little girl," I say angrily, in any quarrel or argument we had he would push that sentence.

'You're still a girl, you're still a teenager , you're still small,'

He is silent, he listens to me.

"You humiliated me at the table in front of everyone, in front of Dylan," I say.

"You said you fucked me," I repeat.

"I didn't fuck with you, I made love with you," I say honestly.

"I loved you," I continue.

"You got him out of here, you didn't hold back
for a moment and you humiliate him as well." -

"You know," I giggle as tears still fall from my eyes.

"When I met Dylan, I never felt such a small girl ," I say honestly.

"He's 23, he's even older than you, and he never gave me that feeling, that little one feeling ," I explain.

"You left and dismantled me again," I say, "and he came and gathered what was left," I finish.

"Fuck Hazel, don't say that," he says, as if the truth
hurts him.

"You're late, as always," I mutter, slamming the door and leaving him alone in the room.

I feel my heart beating fast when I leave the room, he brought it to himself, he thinks he can come here,

ask me to come back and let it happen.

But it cant happen.

I go downstairs to the living room, turn on the TV, and watch 'Titanic' until I fall asleep.