Selene Academy - on HOLD

three - part one

The talk I had with the Chancellor left me feeling physically and mentally drained. I was glad he had decided not to unload any more information onto me. I honestly didn't know how much more I could take, I could already cracks beginning to form.

I hadn't had a breakdown since the second grade and even though I didn't remember much about it, I remembered enough.

My whole class had went on a field trip to an old NASA building on the outskirts of town, and parents were allowed to chaperone if they wanted to. My mother had jumped at the opportunity, for two reasons. She used to love space, everything about it. So, she wanted to go so she could learn everything there was to learn.. and then she went to keep an eye on me.

As if she'd really let me go 40 miles away.

Anyways, I don't really remember much about that day. I was told by a couple therapists that it was too much for my seven year old self to handle, so I subconsciously blocked it out.

Over the years, I've been able to piece together a couple things about what happened that day.

I remember being surrounded by kids and they were all laughing about something, but I wasn't. Someone was pointing at my mother and her red hair and then everyone was laughing again.

That's when I blew up, I suppose. I remember getting really angry. So angry, I felt my tiny body shaking with it. The next thing I knew everyone was crying, including me. I remembered feeling exhausted and like I had done something really, really bad.

After I blew up, my mother carried me to our car and sped home. When we got home we had the most serious talk we had ever had before. Well, about as serious as it could be with a seven year old. Anyways, she had told me how important it was that I always kept a cap on my emotions.

I could never explode like that again.

I could never get too angry, sad or happy.

I needed to always keep emotions simmering, I could never let them boil.

I don't remember much about that day or that school, to be honest. Especially since my mother un-enrolled me the next day. I just remember how frantic and scared she looked as she told me that. The whole ride home she kept looking behind her, as if someone was following us.

After that day, I never lost control again.

But, I could feel my rock solid control, starting to slip and for some reason.. I felt like that would be a very bad idea.

Stepping out of the Chancellors office, I decided right then and there to skip dinner. I couldn't handle being around anyone, let alone all the students who had saw my little scene in the hallway earlier.

I shook my head.

Even as I still stood outside of the Chancellors door, students passing me were giving me a good look down, as if they knew. Some smirked and kept walking while others slowed down and whispered behind closed hands to their friends.

I felt like a freak.. and I guess I technically was.

My shoulders slumped forward as I felt the last little bit of my energy start to drain. I knew I needed food but.. I'd rather scrounge around for something to snack on later.

Turning left I started walking. I had no real idea where I was going because, just like Mrs. Addington, Ronan didn't exactly explain the hallways and stairways we were taking. I knew we had at least turned left like four times and we also turned right like three. But, I also remembered some stairs so.. I really had no idea where I was going. So, with that in mind, I let my legs do what they wanted.