Break Trio Oneshot

°•°•trauma°•°•

He thought he was over it.

He thought he was gonna be fine.

He was not fine.

He was careless once. Only once. And look where that got him.

Kidou felt his ribs tighten around his lungs as he desperately tried to get his breathing under control.

Breathing techniques.

He needed to calm down. Remember.  Rememb- what were the breathing techniques?! He can't, for the life of him remember! His brain felt like mush, fogged with panic.

He can't remember. He can't think. He can't can't can't can't.

Warm. There was something warm on his knee. A hand, he realized with a start. Wha- who?

"-you with me?" Said a voice. He knows that voice. Gouenji,  his mind helpfully piped. Oh.

Oh no. Why was Gouenji here? What will he think? Seeing Kidou like that on the floor being such a fucking coward? Being so pathetic? Being so-

"Hey. Breath." The voice stopped him from spiralling deeper.

A pair of rough calloused hands gently grabbed his and placed them on a firm chest as warm chocolate brown eyes pierced into his ruby red ones.

Where were his googles?

His own chest hitched. He can't breath-

"Can you feel my heart beat?" Asked Brown eyes- Endou.

Kidou acknowledged his friend with a jerky nod and Endou continued. "Try to match my breaths. Breath in, one two tree. Hold. And out, one two three."

Endou kept counting like that while exaggerating his own breathing for Kidou to copy.

This kept going for a while and once he began to get a hold of his breaths, the brunet started to tell him how good of a job he was doing.

"Good. Now can you tell me five things you can see?"

Yeah. He can do that.

"Your hea-...your headband." Oh god. His voice cracked.

"Yeahh! It's cool right? What else?" Chirped Endou.

"Uh,"he swallowed and turned his head. "Um Gouenji? And... and a sink, door and, um, floor."

"Good job! Now tell me four things you can feel."

Oh okay. That was harder. What can he feel?

The warmth, Gouenji's hand.

"Hand. On.. on my knee. And um, tears." Wait tears? He reached for his cheek and sure enough, he felt wetness. When had he started crying? What will Endou think? Gouenji t-

"What else Kidou?" Endou brought him back on track.

"What else. Um you, rubbing my shoulder. And the wall."

"Now can you tell me three things you can hear ? The goalkeeper asked again.

Why was he asking him so many questions?

"Your voice. And Gouenji breathing and um," he paused. Straining his ears and there, there were people making a hubbub outside the bathroom. " And the crowd."

"What are two things you can smell?" He asked again.

And oh. Endou was distracting him by making him focus on his senses. Smart.

"Bleach and air freshener," he went along with his friend.

"Well done! Now can you taste anything?" Endou seemed proud for some reason. Why?

He licked his lips and there, he can tasted it. It taste like iron, he probably bit his lips or tongue in his panic earlier.

"Blood." He says, calmer now.

Gouenji passed him a bottle of water which he gulped down in minutes. Relieved to feel his scratchy throat dampen and the iron taste fading away.

"How do you feel?" Asked the platinum blond.

"Been better."

"Wanna go back outside. Not that I'm complaining but the bathroom's floor is not very comfy," joked Endou which earned him a small, wobbly smile from Kidou and the brunet beamed back at his friend. Small victories.

The three boys got to their feet and made for the door. As soon as they stepped back outside, they were hit by the hustle bustle of the airport.

People were rushing here and there, dragging their luggage behind them. Others conversing. Parents were trying to keep overexcited kids from running away from them while said kids yelled their little lungs out.

Kidou briefly tensed on the chaos but he relaxed by focusing on his friends who were flanking him from his sides.

They tugged him to the rows of uncomfortable metallic seats his team were occupying but they settled down a couple of seats away to give him a semblance of privacy.

He really appreciated this. He loves his team but they could be a little too...much sometimes.

"You can talk to us if you want. You don't have to, but we'll help with anything," There. Gouenji kept it open ended. He didn't want to make Kidou feel pressured and this gave him the choice. But he wanted the strategist to know that he had people he could always rely on.

Kidou tensed again.

He glanced at Haruna and his sister seemed so happy, so excited chatting with the girls. He guessed she was over it. Or she already forgot, she was still young back then. But him? He was scared shitless.

He was so pathetic, how can his friends even look at him in the eyes after he showed them how much of a wuss he was and and...

And what? No, Endou and Gouenji were not like that. They won't judge him for something so out of his control like that, he knew. This was so uncharacteristic of him, he was being illogical.

Maybe they could really help him. Kidou sucked in a deep breath and exhaled slowly to calm his pounding heart. Endou and Gouenji waited for him, giving him his time to collect his himself.

"It's just... I..." another deep breath and then he ploughed on.

"I'm nervous, scared, to ge- of ... of  planes. What if something goes wrong? What if... what if we crash... like them." He mumbled.

And Oh.

It all makes sense now.

Endou and Gouenji felt their heart crack with the realization.

Kidou's parents died in a plane crash when he was a kid.

Kidou was orphaned because of a plane crash when he was a kid.

Kidou was seperated from his sister because of a plane crash when he was a kid.

Of course he would be fucking scared of planes. How could they not see that.

He had trauma. Of planes. Which they had to get on to go to the FFI.

Oh fuck.

_________________________________________

Ahahahahahha cliff hanger ending.

This oneshot is based on my headcanon that kidou has PTSD and is scared on planes.

16.07.21