When we Fell Apart {k.sw + j.hn}

2.

Do you remember the day you asked me out? The day where we were walking down the halls of campus with a book in hand.

We were talking about our friends having a crush on each other. The odd pair that contained the sarcastic pink haired and the innocent orange haired.

I remember laughing at that...we both laughed. Your laugh was cute, Mine was too in your words.

We continue walking, and I always noticed you glancing at me. My innocent mind thought there was something wrong with me. I grew to be obsessed with your presence Sunwoo...and I still am addicted to you.

We part ways and I held a smile on my face thinking that I was fine with our relationship. Two friends standing on the line of friendship, not daring to cross further.

I wanted more...I know I did. I couldn't fathom the thought of you with someone else...I mean...I guess I can now...

I remember forgetting to give you something and rushed to your direction. I saw you talking with your friends Eric, the weird air-headed one, and Hyunjoon, the mysterious one.

As I stepped closer, I overheard your conversation. I know it's bad to eavesdrop but my ears were open and my curiosity was overflowing.

"How do I do it? I physically can't say, Haknyeon, I like you, be my boyfriend!" You panicked and paced up and down while they never left their gaze off of you.

The words stuck my heart, like a wave of euphoria came crashing into my body. I hid myself, not wanting to hear your voice anymore.

I ran away and once I spotted my circle of friends, I jumped into their arms and told them everything that happened.

Oh how naive I was...

They congratulated me and told me to wait for you to confess. But I couldn't wait...I was like a child on their birthday, desperately wanting to open the presents.

I made sure to put on my best acting face before meeting up with you again. I walked back to your direction and immediately grabbed your arm. From there, I dragged you to my reading spot.

I lied and said that I needed help on a paper. In reality, I knew what I was doing, but I wanted to act dumb for you...I always acted dumb for you.

I tried everything to make you say those words, the one you said you can't physically tell me. I tried making myself more vulnerable to you by purposely giving you courage like when you call me sweetheart.

You had courage to flirt with me, but you're fragile when it comes to commitment. It was always like that when it comes to you...

But you somehow still didn't get my message, my intention. You were blind with the love I showing you.

I initially thought you were still nervous about confessing, so I just stopped...

I stopped thinking you would confess sooner or later. But weeks passed and nothing...no "I like you Haknyeon..."

I was starting to lose hope...the thread of hope and desire was starting to become loose yet I was still holding on...

I stopped trying, knowing you were going to wimp around and never tell me how you truly feel.

I know the feeling of lost hope could be evident in my eyes as you kept asking what was wrong. I kept changing the subject and you never truly got to understand my feelings.

I could tell you always brushed it off your shoulder, but I can see it bothering you. I could hear the little voice in your head, debating wether you should continue pushing.

I liked you pushing into my life, it felt like you actually cared. But when I do it to you, it makes me clingy...

I started avoiding you, simply to heal my heart from losing hope. You never knew why, and I never told you why...so is it both of our faults.?

I thought I could get away with it, get over you I mean, but you stopped me right before I could. I remember it so vividly...

You grabbed my arm, like those cliche movies, and pulled me into a hug. The warmth of your body sent my feelings back and I was star struck.

Never in my life would I have ever thought to hug you...I wished I cherished it more.

You apologized about a million times, but for all the reasons I could care less about. When you finally finished talking, I was disappointed for your lack of knowing the real reason why I was sad in the first place.

But then it happened. Like a shooting star appearing in the sky. You told me everything...everything about your feelings.

My heart couldn't stop beating and my adrenaline was kicking higher than ever. I think I felt actual tears in my eyes.

You told me you liked me...

I cherished that moment forever and will never forget it until the day I die. I guess with what's happening now, I have to forget someday, but I never will...because I love you too much.

Curse me...I love you too much.

We dated for years and every day felt like a fairy tale. Of course like every relationship, we had our ups and downs...but we loved each other too much to hate one another...or I loved you too much to hate you.

You never loved me and I never knew why...