MUNDOCUL

Book of Mauricio 10:4xAA

1 My Game Boy batteries are running low, and I finally figured out how to get the sword on the beach. As soon as I grab the sword, the olive and black screen glitches, and the batteries die.

2 Now I have to pay attention to the class. I put away the massive portable grey block, the sucker of AA batteries times four. The bibble I was using to hide from the teacher falls to the floor, creating a cacophony more thunderous than Gabriel's apocalyptic horn.

3 The entire class turns around to see the blasphemous act of dropping the book of prohibitions, the text of saintly plagues, of approved incest, and divine cuckolding. 'Mauricio Segarra! Ask God for forgiveness!' said Sor Isis.

4 I Imagine God coming down and said, hey, man, you know, I gotta bring my son into this world, but bro... I've gotta do it through your wife, man. "But aren't you like, omniscient and all." Joseph clumsily uttered.  "I gotta bang her, man, its the only way, you know nature and stuff." proclaimed God.  Now think about all the dudes he played this game, and repeated throughout all Jerusalem, God banging your girl, impregnates her, and then forces you to raise his bastard kid. The ultimate player. The biggest and badest baby-daddy. He probably owns a godly pimp cane.

5 All twenty-eight of my classmates and fifty-five eyeballs staring at me and one glass eye reflecting my stupid face inhabited by pimples and a premie mustache. "I think he should kiss it," said Rodolfo Ramos. Rodolfo, a bully, and my nemesis. The whole class started laughing. "silence," exclaimed Sor Isis. "Rodolfo is right. Mauricio ask forgiveness and kiss the holy book," demanded Sor Isis.

6 God doesn't want any sloppy seconds, an old school power move, like kings in Medieval times, if you wanted to marry a woman, then she had to offer her virginity as a tribute to the king, giving more power to him, forever etched in that beautiful moment, when you said I do, you knew you were kissing the king by transitive property.

7 "I saw him playing his SEGA Game kid," interrupted Larry, a morbidly obese ten-year-old smothered by his mommy. He is not allowed to play Nintendo or watch TV, bad for your brain. Still, she brings him a bucket of fried chicken, two large cups of fries, and four biscuits for lunch. Lucky bastard. The class laughs. "Sega Game Kid? Are you stupid or what?" I proudly blurted, questioning his knowledge. I might not know the long division, but I know my game consoles.

8"Game Gear which is made by Sega or Game boy made by Nin--" A STRIKING SOUND blasts, echoing as the room vibrates. Sor Isis is holding a three-foot-long ruler in her right hand. "You should not be talking about those demonic artifacts." Sor, Isis screamed.

9 Sor Isis sits and rubs her left side temple. " I cannot continue with this nonsense," whispers Sor Isis. I stand and walk towards the front of the classroom. I hold the brown book with golden letters that read: La Biblia Latinoamerica. I pucker my lips and quickly kiss it, I can see the 55 sets of eyes on me as the glass eye looks at Sor Isis, or maybe that's the real eye.

10 As I kiss the holy scripture and book of wrath, some of the kids snicker. I can see Ramon making the universal cocksucking hand and mouth gesture. Sor Isis does not witness Ramon's action. " I ... um.... there's still one hour and forty-five minutes left on the class... I ...em... let's just go to the AV room and watch a movie, any suggestions?" Gently said Sor Isis.

11 I offer the three cassettes I have in my bag, from Video Delivery, my local movie, and video game rental. My dad told me to return them on the way to Gramma. I had the three black bricks covered in an opake plastic cover, some of the parts broken from use, I rummage through the massive school bag, and I find my rabbit-eared comics Punisher 2099 issue number one, Spawn, The Mask, I accidentally rip a page from one of the comics, it was only the ad for Cop and a 1/2. I find the live-action / animated movie Cool World, about an artist who travels into his comic book world and tries to fuck, his creation. There's that biblical incest again.