Chapter XIV

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"I can't love you in the dark"

Cuddy

It's been three months since that incident with my mother and I can't stop thinking about what House told me that night. It was one of the rare times he actually showed his human side. I felt that he meant every single word he said. He is healing but he's also moving on. But I'm not. I am trying but I can't. A lot of questions keep popping in my head. What if I'd give him a chance? What if I am strong enough to face him and tell him I love him?

I am currently in my office and with wedding gowns to choose on my computer screen while my thoughts are away. Lucas came in and texting with a smile on his face.

"You ready?" he asked

"Who was that?"

"Oh, no one"

"Okay. I'm just going to finish signing these papers and I'll head out just wait for me in the parking lot."

"Okay"

As he was heading out, House walked in the office. He greeted Lucas and even congratulated him on our engagement which Lucas gladly thanked him. House is so different. He's not arrogant, he accepts others ideas. He apologizes when he's called out. He even wears a coat when he sees patient for god sake. He's like turned into someone I don't know. But I still have this feeling towards him.

"Hey!" he said

"Yes. Do you want me to sign some papers?"

"No. Actually I am inviting you for this" handing me an invitation

"A house warming? Your house?"

"Yes. I bought a house a week ago actually. I have been looking for a house for months now. Malayna's been helping me—"

"Malayna? Dr. Smith?"

"Yes. She lives near my apartment so I asked her if she can help me finding a house."

I don't know what to say. I am shocked and I hate to admit it but I think I am jealous too. He's friends with Dr. Smith just for months and now he's consulting her about big life decisions. I know that he doesn't consult me about this but somehow I should have heard about this by now with his Wilson's mouth always talking about House. I hate that I am so far from him. He is here but is seemed like the wall that I've been trying to break for years has been rebuilt and now it's so much higher.

"It seems like you two are really close huh?" I asked him

"Yeah we are. Very close" he answered with a smile.

"Okay. I'll be there"

"Good. I am so happy you can be there"

He walks away with a smile. He is so different. He seems so happy. I know that he truly deserves to be happy. But it stings that I'm not part of that happiness. I am lost in my thoughts when I received a text message from Lucas asking if I'm already done with the papers. This is so bad. I can't keep lying to Lucas like this anymore.

As we were driving, I asked him if we could just stay at home. I think it's time for me to tell him. I was preparing for dinner and when I was done I set the table and saw Lucas talking to someone outside. I was about to call him when I hear what he's saying.

"Yes, love. I'll be there. I just have to tell her I feel sick. *someone from the phone answered* Yeah, me too. I miss you so much. I can't wait to see you"

He ended the call, locked his phone then turned around. He was shocked when he saw at the back.

"Have you been there the whole time?" he asked

"Who was that?"

"Uhmm. That was uhmm—"

He tried to answer but he kept stuttering. I waited for his answer but nothing came out of his mouth. All he gave me was a sorry look. All this time he's been cheating on me. I tried my best to be faithful to him and now he's cheating on me

"Are you cheating on me?" I asked

"I'm sorry. I –"

"We're done! Get out of the house!"

"No! It's not just me who's cheating in this relationship"

"What? I have been faithful to you. I am not seeing anyone else. I don't talk to someone like that"

"Maybe physically you don't but you have emotionally out of this relationship since day 1"

I was shocked with what he said. I can't believe his saying this

"You have been with me physically but emotionally you're with someone else. You have been with House all this time. I'm not even sure if you really loved me or just used me to make House jealous" he said

"How dare you say that Lucas. House has nothing to do with the fact that you are cheating on me. Just stop talking and get out of my house"

He stared at me for a long time, went out and banged the door. I can't stop crying. I am hurt. I am not sure if it's because Lucas cheated on me or because everything he said is true. All I know is that I'm hurt. I tried calling my sister but she doesn't answer. I tried calling my other friends, I even called Wilson but nobody answered. I scrolled my phone until I saw his name. I don't know if this is the right thing to do but all I know is I need someone right now.

House

I am currently in my apartment packing things to be delivered at my new house. I am with Malayna. She's been working with me this entire time. I am also helping her with her project. We have been finding a house while organizing her project. I have also been telling her about my life since we parted. That I was addicted to Vicodin and went to rehab then went to therapy. Yes I am in therapy, I continued by therapy with Dr. Nolan and apologized for my actions the last time we met Malayna was very curious about my relationship, with Stacy and now I told her about Cuddy. She's like a kid since she kept making plans for Cuddy and I. It's like she's playing matchmaker. She said she noticed that Cuddy has this awkward energy towards me. I told her I'm letting her go because she deserves to be happy. We were chatting away when my phone rang. When I saw the caller, I was shocked. I was shocked with what I heard. She's crying so hard. I Iooked at Malayna with a concern face. Automatically, she knew who it was.

"You have to go" she said

I rushed out of the apartment and drove as fast as I can. When I arrived, I saw the light were off but the kitchen was lit so I knocked. After three knocks, the door opened and I saw her. She looks like mess. Her eyes were puffy. She smells like she's drink too much alcohol. We were still at the door when she hugged me. It was so tight and I can feel her tears on my shirt.

"What happened?" I asked

She lifted her head and I can see how sad her eyes are

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She lifted her head and I can see how sad her eyes are. I know that I am giving her as much space as I can but I can't leave her like this.

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