Damian Wayne x assassin reader

Past and current traumas

I sit there frozen my breathing increased into hyperventilation. I know this is bad and i shouldn't be reacting like this, but why am I. Is it because of what that guy tried to do just now. I feel how tense Damian is right now. He isn't usually this tense. Then again, I am not usually this upset after getting the crap beat out of me. My breathing hasn't slowed. I see the limo alfred is standing at the door,"Oh my, what happened?" Damian doesn't say anything. I sit there my breathing slowing into hiccups that hurt at each occurrence. He sets me in the limo. Pennyworth closes the door. My head feels fuzzy, I think I might have a concussion. Scratch that...I'm pretty sure. I fumble the door open and throw up, Damian and Pennyworth rich back to the limo. Damian sits in with me. Once the limo starts. I hear Damian."Y/n did you hit your head?" I shake my head,"One of them slammed my head against the wall, I think I have a concussion." He sighs. He opens a latch and pulls out an ice pack, and moves next to me. He holds the ice pack to my swelling lip and eye."You should have been able to fight them." I sigh, my eyes leaving him,"I was told I can't fight at school, and to try to fit in. I didn't know that idiots like that start in school. Plus I'm a bit behind on sleep so that played a roll." He scoffs."idiot." I feel my eyes go to him,"I know." I just can't believe he tried."What was he trying to get?" I freeze my eye flickering up and then away from him,"He was trying to...he put his hand...he tried to..." I am stuttering, I can say this. I can tell him. He's not like them."He put his hand down my skirt, I think he...I think he was trying..." a sob leaves before I can stop it. "God I'm so weak..." I say, fresh tears brim my eyes. Crying is weak, crying is weak, crying is weak. Damian stops what he's doing, and lowers the ice pack,"I'm going to kill them. You aren't weak, they just caught you with your guard down." I scoff,"My guard was down because I'm an idiot who actually gave something a try that I was against from the start...just like Joseph-" Right...Joseph...I'd given the chance would he have... i shakily inhale. The memory of one of the worse times with him coming to mind. My hand shoots to my shoulder. "Y/n who is Joseph. What are you doing. Are you ok." I freeze up. No...no more weakness. I can't be weak, not if I want to escape them. And even if I'm not strong. I can act it. I adjusted my posture and looked at him."I'm alright." Damn my shoulder. Damian seems to have some distant and different reaction pass though his eyes. I can't figure it out though as we arrived at the manner. I run to my room. And the second in there. I undress and crawl in the shower. I need this surge of emotions to stop. So they will. Sitting there doesn't make it better though as I remember how friendly we started out...and then how later on how badly he hurt me and was alright with it. This emotional surge. I don't like it. How do I stop it. Is this how all those people I killed felt. Have I put so many people through this pain. I'm such a bad person. (A/n no you're not) images of those I've killed and those who I could have spared flash before my eyes. Stop...stop...stop...... I don't know how it started but tears are falling from my eyes. My skin is wrinkled from the water that has run cold now. I stand hanging my head. I won't let my emotions do this anymore. I won't be weak. I dry off and pick an training suit I made. As I leave the room, I have most all my weapons new and old I have gotten a few new knives. I'll leave the manner, but still stay in gotham. I walk down the halls. My eyes now void of emotion. As I approach bruce Wayne's office, I knock and am immediately invited in."I need a break, I'm sorry it this means you won't train me anymore or whatever and I wasted your time, but I need to leave for a while. If you don't want me back tell me now if not I'll be back in about a week. And don't ask what I'll be doing." I can tell Hes contemplating this. "Ok. If you allow Damian to go with you you may return." I stare for a second. If he comes who knows what he might do. But then again, THEY might come after me if they know I'm alone. Damian wouldn't be my first choice."fine but that extends my break to two weeks." He nods."very well. You can leave in an hour." I nod. I leave the room and stand in the hall as I assume he calls Damian to discuss this matter and instruct him to prepare, because Damian strides down the hall minutes later and into the office. It's about ten minutes before he leaves the room. Clearly frustrated. He probably doesn't want to do this. In the mean time while he dresses and prepares to leave, I grab a water bottle and put it in my pouch. And then eat a reasonable amount before we leave. I don't really need to worry about money, because I can get if from almost anywhere.its not really stealing if it's right in front of you and doesn't have a name on it...kinda.20 more minutes till I can leave. I can't wait.