Damian Wayne x assassin reader

So...

I open my eyes expecting to be in severe pain, but I'm not. I'm in the bay caves med bay..."what..." looking around i don't see anybody. I push myself out of the bed, making my way out of the room. When I see tim and Jason. I didn't kill them...they're alive...THEY'RE ALIVE.I burst into a run and tackle them in a hug. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry...I'm sorry." It's silent for a few seconds. Before I'm picked up off of Jason by Tim."What are you sorry for." I stare for a second enveloping him in a hug, before I see Bruce. I let go of Tim and run as fast as I can to Bruce. Collapsed on him crying now."I'm sorry. I'm so...I'm so sorry." He slowly puts his hands around me and gives me a hug."You didn't do anything. You were sprayed with fear toxin. What you saw wasn't real." I cry even harder."I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."I hear damians voice behind us."What are you doing?" I look back at Damian. And put a hand to my mouth. Before dropping to my knees and closing my eyes with tears going down my face."HEY!!!Are you ok!!!" I feel hands on my shoulders."Y/N ANSWER ME!!!" I hear Bruce clear his throat."Damian wasn't able to give you the antidote till you got back to the cave, so all you saw wasn't real. None of what happened actually happened in reality." I sit there. And then lunge at Damian in a hug. He sends his arms to the side."WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!" I cry on his shoulder."I thought I killed you..." I cry. I feel his body shift,"I thought you hated me and left, then THEY made me kill you..." I can't stop crying. It hurts to much. The images looped on my brain of my worst fears. "I don't want to kill anymore." I feel Damians overly tense shoulders relax some."I don't want to kill...I didn't want to kill..." I can't even talk anymore as sobs envelop me. I hear footsteps around me but I couldn't care less."What did you see?" I hear Bruce ask."Ada... Adelio... Aimee ... Albina... Alida... Alva ... Alviria... Amelie...Anwen... Arwen... Ashby... Bailey... Barnaby... Bear... Bellamy ... Belle... Beno... Bente ... Blaze... Bonita...so...so many more...I've killed so many people...I don't...I can't..." I can't speak once more. I slide to the ground and hug damians leg."I killed all of you. You all hated me. Then you did what he..." no more. It hurts to much. I sit there draped on damians legs. I feel him slide down and hug me back. It's kinda protective but at the same time threatening. "You're more tolerable than Drake." I hear him mumble. I sit there embraced by Damian."What else happened?" It's quiet as my sobs stop..."I...They...my...my victims...they were there with all of you...you yelled and screamed at me. Then you...you all...." It's quiet."You took turns pinning me down like THEY did and carved things into my skin...Weak... Stupid... alone... worthless.....     killer." The rooms quiet again. I burry myself into Damian once more."I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry." I feel my body violently shake."There was blood everywhere...and broken glass covered the floor like with THEM...I don't know who's blood it Was. I heard the cries and wailes of those I killed...the women...the...childr-" I can't...no...no...no... I let go of Damian and grip my head."Im Such a horrible person." Who knew that they would all witness me at my worst...who could have known that I would break like this. This is the second time I've shattered myself in front of Damian. "I'm... so..weak...." I mumble hiccuping as I try to calm my breathing. Oh how I wish I hadn't been born. How I wish I hadn't killed so many people...how I wish I was my own victim. Sitting there. I wrap my arms around myself."I'm sorry..." it's quiet till dick walks in."Oh hey Y/n." I sit there. Unable to respond. My throat feeling like it was rubbed raw with sandpaper. I sit on my butt, knees next to me on either side. An arm wrapped around my front and another at my mouth covering it fully. Silent tears still streaming from my cheeks. My eyes on the small amount of floor in front of me. I zone out, my thoughts muddled."Hey what's wrong with Y/n" Damian is crouched down in front of me leaning on his knees. He picks his hands up and puts them on my shoulders."Stop apologizing." He says low and gravely. I don't respond. When did I become so weak...was it when they started using my name, or when I went to school. Or when I found comfort in being here with them...when did become so weak..."why am I so...weak."  I whisper through my hand again, and again. Not expecting an answer. Damians hands squeeze my shoulders. It hurts but I don't move...I stay still as he makes what'll probably be 5 finger marks on my shoulders. Still repeating, I stay staring at the ground."Shut up!!!" Damian yells at me. Everyone is quiet." that was super mean what the hell." Tim says."Even for you that was mean demon spawn." I go quiet."You are not weak." I stay like that. Dick speaks up."What happened?" Bruce answers him short and simple."fear toxin." He seems to go cold."oh." It's quiet."so...I..." I look up at Damian. His eyes are showing more emotion than I've ever seen on him. Is he concerned."I'm sorry for causing so many problems." I say looking away again from Damians eyes. How could I have been so stupid...