MY RESOLVE

EIGHTEEN

*MY RESOLVE

*RIHANNAH*

I've been wondering why my dad insisted to speak with me. I just it isn't about job because I really need a break to help put things in order or it could be the walimatul nikkah of Salis,hmmmm that should be it! I snapped out of my thought,put on my hijab and descended the stairs.

My dad was in a conversation with my brothers and they seem so serious,so I stepped out into the balcony to give them time. I decided to enjoy the view before me like I always do. My mother having once owned a florist shop made sure every flower-sunflower,amaryllis,hibiscus and lots of them is planted round the house,then the trees give the house a cool and peaceful atmosphere. Butterflies are busy suckling away nectars while birds chirp away sonorously and perch around from one green healthy tree to the other. Their freedom amazes me and their reliance on their Lord for provision. My hands itched to get my canvas and brushes and paint away the beautiful scene before me but I lost that interest a long time ago. After the sordid incidence, I realized whenever I wanted to sketch,all I do is going round andround with red paints all smeared all over giving the picture of pool of blood flowing before my eyes. I ended up in tears shivering and Salis would always come around to make the memory go away.  That was a long time ago. With the help of Salis, I found another passion to take my mind off the memory-fashion! and I'm loving it. Thinking about how far I've come from that battered soul always make me smile and whisper 'walilahilhamd'

The creak from the slide doors brought me back to earth

"to earth with my princess"
"I'm back already dad"
"I can see that love. So how's the youngest recent graduate in my family doing?"

"I'm fine dad and filled with grattitude to Allah then appreciation to you and everyone but I'm so exhausted!"

"Alhamdulillahi. It's understandable dear. Have I told you of how proud of you I am?"

"You can tell me again" I teased. We both laughed. I could see my dad has something so serious to say after the laughter subsided

"Dad,out with it. What's it? Is everything alright? you're not ill,are you,dad?" I asked

He smiled " no princess Walilahilhamd,I'm not and nobody is. I just need to speak with you"

"ok dad"

"let's sit,shall we?" we sat on the cushion closest to us

"Princess,know that I love you and would never want you out of my sight but then you're not getting younger"

"Meaning?"

"Don't interrupt me,please?" I nodded

"As I was saying,you're not getting younger and you've done so well for yourself but I think it's high time you got married"

"Did you just say married dad! have you forgotten so soon that I...."

"Rihannah! I haven't forgotten anything. Which responsible father would forget such horrible  experience?Look at you princess,you rose beyond it and are better for it"

"Dad,I can't do this not right now,please? I am not ready" I pleaded teary eyed

"when will you be ready? when you're above fertilization period?!"

"So,this is about your love for grandchildren dad! but have you forgotten so soon. I carried mine  for nine months,went through labour for days and when he came out,what happened dad? He died! I buried my first fruit with my bare hands despite the pains at such a tender age!"

I couldn't hold the tears anymore. This just made me know that I might have healed outwardly but deep within the sores were as raw as yesterday. Maybe because I couldn't speak about it to anyone. I felt I healed but no I didn't.

"Dad,could you give her sometime? that's enough for a day" Suleiman cut in.

I wasn't paying attention but just sobbed away.

"I'm so sorry my princess. I really didn't intend to hurt you,please forgive me" dad pleaded. I could only manage a nod because I know deep down all he'd ever do is care.for me and I love him for that. He gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze and left.

"Hey fighter,why crumble now?come here" Suleiman cooed

"I guess I lost my fighting spirit" I said and went into his brotherl embrace.

*MR YUSUF*

I can't forgive myself for making her cry. That daughter of mine has suffered alot. I'd have gotten that bastard arrested and rotten in jail if not that nemesis caughtup with him,he got what he deserved!

My first grandson didn't even take his first breathe of life!

I remember the sad look on her face when told her baby died at birth.She cried for few hours,made sajdah,then asked for water,she bathed him and requested for white cloth with which to wrap him and tie him,then she held him until it was time to take him to the qabr. She insisted on knowing where her child would be buried so she could pay visit and pray for him. I watched all these in wonder. Where did she get the strength and confidence? Then when asked how she felt,her words,I would always remember

"Alhamdulillahi,I'm fine and grateful. It could have been me but He,the knower of the unseen chose him.To Him we belong and to Him we shall return.I hope to be re-united with my little Ibrahim in Jannah"

That was when we knew.she'd even chosen a name and since then,she bottled up and it took ages before she came around,thanks to Qudrah too but with the breakdown today,I doubt if my baby is completely healed.

"Honey,take it easy. she'll be fine. I spoke with Suleiman. Maybe she'd just have to re-start her counselling session or go for therapy"

"You think that would help?"

"We'll see about that but our daughter is a fighter and a true believer. May Allah see.us through" mrs Yusuf replied

"Aameen"

Hope this met.our expectation? We have a wedding to plan,don't we?

Read,comment,criticize.

#Rizqahwrites#🐾