Did my heart love till now?

CHAPTER : 1

"Oh god how much I love to sleep, I can spend the whole day lying in my bed doing absolutely nothing with a little company of my fluffy-puffy pillows, Sleep is love. Period." I thought as I held my pillow between my arms having no intention in the world of letting it go but Mr Alarm differs with me on this aspect and has completely different plans for today.

And he went right off screaming at the top of his lungs that is if he has any. I shut him off and went back to sleep, hmm... Good job Liv.

I was about to sleep when I heard footsteps approaching and the door to my room opened with a thud revealing light which I guess was coming from somewhere in the house.

I groaned as I turned around in bed hiding in my blanket shutting off my eyes once more.

"Liv get up we've got a long day.....ughh" my mother groaned at the sight of my perfectly messy room "please do something with all this mess your room is in and be sure to be down in an hour !! " My mom yelled.

Ughhh God... What have I done to deserve this, all I wanted was to sleep a little longer. Just 5 minutes... Yes, I am sure I'll get up after 5 minutes...

*50 minutes later*

"Olivette Miller get up and this is an order. N-O-W." My mom nearly screamed which she doesn't do often.

And that is when my teensy-weensy memory decided to come back running to me and I realized what day it is today.

I grabbed my phone and checked the time and I must say I wasn't the happiest when I saw 7:56 a.m. flashing on the screen.

How in the world did I sleep 56 minutes past the actual time I decided to wake upon. I am never doing that 5-minutes-dangerous-sleeping thing ever but then again who am I lying to...

"I'll be down soon mom and I promise I will clean all this mess my room is in and I love you" I yelled back rolling out of bed almost knocking the blanket off it in the process.

It took me nearly 20 minutes to brush my teeth, take a quick shower and here I am standing in front of the mirror secured in a towel trying to blow dry my hairs in an attempt to make them look presentable, I don't really care about being presentable in-fact I hated it and the attention it brings but today is different.

The next I knew I was dressed in my blue shirt with black worn-out jeans and my almost dried hairs were resting on my shoulders as they usually are and I smoothened them with my fingers. I did a quick session with my gloss, mascara and bronzer.

Hmm... not too bad Liv!

I grab hold of my phone checking the time *08:30* ahaa...!! not too late I have enough time, I thought proudly and all the proud went hiding in the closet when my eyes took in the state my room was in.

"do something with all this mess your room is in....do something with all this mess your room is in...!!!!!!!" mom's word echoing in my head doing nothing productive but putting me into a state of unwanted anxiety.

My room was a mess with most of my clothes scattered on the floor as if trying to be friends with Mr Carpet, half-packed bags lying in one corner in their own world and books, journals, colours were scattered on the table as if they have just met a mini hurricane. Oh, good lord, this is perfect now just kill me.

After 15 minutes of hiding everything unnecessary away in the places where my mom won't ever look, I can say I certainly did a good job trying to make my room not-too-bad-of-a-sight-for-my-mom's-eyes and the unpacked bags are now perfectly packed with all the things I'd need. hmm...good job.

Grabbing my phone from the table I checked the time, *8:45* haahaa... Just in time, stepping out of my room I closed the door behind me which have a poster on it saying "don't bother coming in unless you've bought food" Wow that says so much about me.

I slid my phone into the front pocket of my jeans and tiptoe down the stairs to not disturb my mom who was busy with Mr Coffeemaker.

"Morning sleepyhead!", She exclaimed.

"Morning mum"

"Have you cleaned your room or at least tried to?" She asked turning the pancake on the pan. It smells like coffee and chocolate in here....my two non-breathing best friends.

"Umm... Yes" I answered "I tried" I added while trying not to sound too suspicious and technically I wasn't lying I tried just not the way she wanted me to and I don't think she needs to know that.

I settled myself into one of the bar stools in front of the cafe counter.

My mom owns this cute little cafe bookstore "The hideout". I didn't liked that name until last year in November, when my dad died in a car accident and I spent most of my time here reading books with the company of coffee and chocolate which is how we bonded and in no time became best-friends. I rarely went upstairs to my room unless to do something important like to sleep, because without dad the home we had above our cafe never felt the same again and it was really hard to walk past his room not-noticing the fact he wasn't there anymore and never will be.

This was how this cafe really became my hideout where I hid myself in my solitude from the rest of the world and the memories that haunted me. I eventually lost close contact with all of my friends except for Jessica and Dan no matter what happened they have always been there for me and I love them and did I mention that Dan also use to be my crush ? I didn't, sorry my bad. Dan was the only guy I have ever had a crush on during my junior year but later that year he came out as gay and as much as it surprised me I was happy for him.

"Have you packed everything you need?" mum asked me pulling me out of my thoughts as she placed our coffee mugs and pancakes on the counter.

It took me a moment to realize what she was asking "yes mum" I answered sipping my coffee. Hmm... delicious.

"Good and did you" she was about to say something when i cut her off "yes mum i double checked the list and packed everything" to which she nodded.

My mum has always been the organised one in the home and everything has to be perfect in a certain order according to her on the contrary dad and I has always been the reckless ones.

"Will we be leaving right after breakfast, right?" I asked her while checking the texts on my phone.

"Yes I have to be back by evening" she answered eating her pancakes. Maybe I should eat too.. they look ready-to-eat.

I started devouring my pancakes in a very unladylike like manners but then I was never lady-like to began with and let me tell you the pancakes were delicious. My mum was really good at this breakfast-making-thing.

"Will you be okay by yourself!?" She finally asked I knew this was coming "You know you always have the option to attend college here", she said but i knew what she really meant was...you know you don't have to do this if you are not ready, just take your time.

"Yes Mom I'll be fine and we've had the college discussion for a few zillionth time already ." She squeezed my hand in hers and gave me a weak smile that said....I don't know if this was a good idea to began with.

I gave her a reassuring smile. I know what is bugging her and I know what she is worried about. We have talked about this before and she agreed but I know somewhere in her motherly-heart she was nothing but worried. To be honest I wasn't so confident myself.

Today I am leaving for college in Chicago which is a big step for me considering the fact that in the past year I've been to almost nowhere away from my blanket not even for sleepover at Jess's let alone to a different state and a completely new city but i want this for me. I can't spent the rest of my life locked up in my home away from the world.

My mom thought after everything we've been through it'd be better for me to go to college with my best-friends in NYU or the local Olivet college where she can be with me but i didn't want that as I've never been the New York kinda girl and I certainly didn't wanted to attend college in or anywhere near Olivet as I've always wanted to be as far away as possible from this city, why? Now that is a story for some other time.

I am nervous but I am ready or so i thought. University of Chicago here I come...