The Perks of Being a Side Effect

Chapter 6

A knock on my bedroom door jolted me awake, my bedroom seemed unfamiliar to me at first and my body didn't feel like my own.
I'd been bedridden, not well enough to leave the house, not even well enough to leave the bed. Any physical activity was enough to leave me breathless and that included walking.
The doctors instructed that I was to stay in bed and only move when I needed to go to the washroom. My body eventually became stiff from doing nothing but laying down. My parents carried my meals up the stairs and sat on the edge of my bed to talk to me.
However, most times they left me alone with my thoughts. I learned that the thoughts of a dying person can be dangerous and poisonous.
The confinement of my room was enough to make me feel the loneliness in my cancer filled chest.
It was nearly unbearable.

It was Isaac who entered, he was carrying familiar looking envelopes and I thanked God that he was blind.
Having him see me like this would be degrading.
"Hey, Haze." He said softly and felt his way toward the edge of my bed.
"I got your mail." He smiled and held out a few letters letter. I recognized the scribbled writing to be Charlie's. Lately, being unable to leave my bed I knew I had been missing Charlie's letters. My parents never checked the mailbox and I didn't want to ask them for any favours.

"Thanks Isaac." I said and tore the first letter open.
I noticed him biting the inside of his cheek and his face was towards the floor. He didn't bother to look in my direction when he spoke.
"Your parents told me that you're not doing too hot." He said.

"No," I said tiredly, "I've been doing pretty crappy actually."

"Stuck in bed, huh?"

I nodded even though I knew he was unable to see me.

"I really hope you get better." He said. His voice sounded strained and his calm air seemed forced. He was not okay. I wasn't okay either.
It hadn't occurred to me until now that Isaac probably didn't have many friends whom he cared for. And the loss of another friend would not do him much good. Gus' death destroyed him, and how would my death affect him?

"Isaac, you know that it's all downhill from here, don't you?" I said. These words seemed hard to hear even for myself. Isaac did not respond.
I opened the first letter and read it.

It was dated February, 8th.

'Dear friend,
I have a date for the Sadie Hawkin's dance. In case you didn't have one of those, it's the dance where the girl asks the boy. In my case, the girl is Mary Elizabeth, and the boy is me. Can you believe it?!'

I smiled, feeling happy for Charlie, however, I sort of pitied him for not being asked by the Sam girl he loved so much.

The second letter was dated February 9th and Charlie wrote a very short letter. Just a conversation between himself and Sam about Mary Elizabeth.

The third letter was written on the 15th. He told me about the dance and Sam and how his sister had an awful boyfriend. He told me he returned home to find his sister crying and she told him that she was pregnant. I tried to imagine being pregnant at my age and I somewhat understood why his sister would feel so overwhelmed. She then made the choice to have an abortion and asked Charlie to drive her to the clinic and home so their parents wouldn't know.

I wasn't surprised to read that Charlie would do anything to help his sister.