One more... || Chanlix [Stray Kids]

Lonely night

"Where the fuck is he?" Felix run through different alleys looking for him, but it became difficult since he hadn't eaten properly for days straight. His legs felt week as he slowed down a little. His hands were shivering from the cold weather, he didn't have time to take a jacket when he rushed out of his house.

"Where am I supposed to start looking?" He was so lost, how was he supposed to find one person  in such a big city, what if he wasn't even in the city?

As jisung told him, he tried visiting Chan a couple of times, the majority of them he just said he wasn't feeling well and told him to go away through the small phone at the entrance door. But when he sent this morning no one answered,  he let it slip but when Changbin went and also no one answered they started to worry.

Jisung and Changbin were waiting for the older on his front door to comeback and try to talk him out of the situation, he only did this once before;
When he found out his younger brother was involved in a car accident two years ago, he didn't got out of his house for a whole month and Changbin and Jisung were worried for it to happen again. When he finally got out his house he looked hollow, thin and at the edge of tears. Like a zombie, not alive but still walking.

They didn't want that to happen for any longer this time. But Chan totally disconnected, how would they know how to help?

This time was different, because as Chan disappeared Felix did too. Hyunjin and Minho grew worried because Felix did this a lot when they first met him.

He locked himself up, tortured and hurt himself. Hyunjin found Felix fainted on his kitchen once and Minho had to come for him at class on highschool because the younger started crying and wasn't able to breathe.

That's also how he knew himself so much. At first he controlled every move, trying to be perfect in this new world he just entered, as he locked up he inspected every part of himself finding new things to hate about himself, but as he recovered he learned to not give a fuck and made the best of his flaws. He also learned to be the person he always wanted to be but at the same time he still had so much to know about the rest of the world. Maybe that's why he looked so lost in Chan's eyes.

He started feeling that if the older left his side, he would go back to his old ways, and that kinda happened once he stopped texting him. He started to hand-pick every flaw and his heart felt as if it sank ever day a little bit more.

- BANGCHAN! - He shouted as he approached a park full with trees covered in snow. Some Christmas lights were still up and illuminating the night.

Felix grew anxious, he never cared for someone like this. - CHRIS! PLEASE WHERE ARE YOU? - His voice almost broke calling for his friend.

He wasn't there, so he kept looking in streets near by and dark alleys.
He went to the bars they frequented, the place were he rapped, university, even the hospital, the cinema and the theatre. No where to be seen.

It was already 3 in the morning and Felix wasn't giving up until he saw the older. His feet hurt a little and his ears were frozen but he ignored it and run down to the main streets.

When he got there a lot of people were out tonight, it was so long since he saw people in real life. Shit, he didn't even enjoyed new year.
He was an asshole for not reaching for the older sooner.

The street was full, he recalled that tonight was the city's local festival. So everything was open the whole night, even the funfair that was there for the entire week opened till morning today.

"Shit, of course! The funfair! How couldn't I have thought about it earlier?" Felix finally snapped. He wasn't talking about the actual funfair, but a little hill that was just behind it. He remembered Chan telling him it was a perfect place for stargazing.

He started running again, dodging between groups of friends having fun and tripping from time to time. He was exhausted. When he reached the funfair he took a look at it trying to catch any glimpse of Chan, but the only thing he saw was hundreds of people eating or on some rides shouting.

He surrounded the place and got up the hill that had a thick layer of snow on it. The breeze was cold but luckily it wasn't snowing.

He got up struggling, and when he finally got to the bench where he knew Chan liked to sit to stargaze he saw the older wasn't there. Again, all of this for nothing?

- Where the fuck are you idiot? - Felix sat on the bench and placed his hands on his face, he felt like crying so bad.
- You don't talk to me in so l-long and now you di-dissappear all of a sud-sudden - Big tears dropped from his eyes as he looked up to the moon and asked them.
- What do I do without him now...? - he sniffed
trying to calm down, but it wasn't possible.

He hadn't seen Chan for two weeks, no messages, no calls, not even a post on twitter on insta, nothing.

- I guess it's my fault, I shouldn't have done that- He stopped crying for some seconds, but the river of tears came back as soon as it was gone when Felix eyes lated on polaris, the star Chan though him to recognise.

He stumped the floor and whimpered uncontrolled - Where the fuck are you Chris?! Seriously! - His hands went up to clean his tears. Why was he so worried about Chan?
He was just gone for a day, but he felt like if something really bad happened to him.

His brain suddenly decided to replay that night where the older called him crying and he just went straight up to his house. Maybe he had some kind of depression? Maybe that was why he couldn't sleep some nights? Maybe, and just maybe his kiss made him fall apart and all of this was hjis fault.
What if Chan was dead?

"No, no, NO! get that shit out of your head, you can't asume if people have issues, he himself told you that he wasn't sad. And of course he isn't dead!" Felix tried pushing all his thoughts back.

- Where the fuck are you Chris? -.
Another tear run down his face as he looked straight to all the people having fun in the funfair.

A/N:
Mans this chapter and the last one were like gonna be the dame one buy it was gonna be so long so I DUDUDUDUDU (chopped) them into two that's why they are short (like Changbin)
but we Stan Binnie so no worries

Okay but Chan isn't like dead or something dont worry I COULD NEVER.

love yall ♥️👄♥️

just saying that I know the user names of these 3 people that always read this and I wanted to say that I LOVE YALL yall make my days reading and commenting on this lol 😘🤡✨