why would you ever kiss me? [Mammon x Reader]

ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹Prologue◃ ۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ ˑ

  I'm sure you're expecting some cliche introduction right now. Perhaps something along the lines of "Holy shit i'm late to class!!1!" or "Hi! My name is MC !" or maybe even just the sound of the school bell ringing. Perhaps this introduction is already cliche and i'm just unaware, hell if I know!

But let's get one thing straight.

My current situation is not good. No no, not good at all. You see, I'm stuck in a house full of demons. And to sum it all up, I just became aware of the fact that I'm falling for one of the demons. I've been living in the House of Lamentation for a little over 4 months so I still got a long way to go until I can go back home and get over this little crush of mine. And I'm just saying 'little' right now because I'm hoping I can convince myself that it's just a phase.

I'm new to this whole 'crushy kiss kiss' thing. As you can probably tell, I'm not much of a lover typa guy. aND THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

How the hell would I tell him that I like him? Would he even be interested in dating a human?? WHAT IF I END UP EMBARRASSING MYSELF?! No one has talked to me about this kind of stuff because i've never been in this situation before! Which is why I'm just letting it wait until I get home and distract myself with food, or somethin-

I'm interrupted from my daily morning thoughts as an annoyinGLY LOUD DEMON ENTERS MY FUCKING ROOM-

"MCAREYOUDEAD??!?!?!?"

Speak of the fucking devil.

"No, Mammon. I am not dead." I turn to him with a death glare. That's what he gets for interrupting my personal venting session.

"...."

"I knew that!!" he crossed his arms, "It's not like my brothers tried pranking me into thinking that you died earlier this morning, who told you that?!" That's a cruel 'prank'.

I glared at him. "Is that all you came for??"

"Oh, breakfast is ready. By the way, do you have any plans after school?"

"No, why?" I stood up heading towards my closet.

"Well, I kinda made a deal with that one witch that hangs out in that one boutique and I KINDA need someone to go with me just in case I need to call backup.. or somethin'..."

"Oh my god Mammon, you are SO stupid..."

"I'M NOT STUPID. I just need someone to go with me cause the only reason I got ripped off last time was because she thought I was single!!" Honey, what-

"Which you are."
He looked at me in anger.

"So that's why you can't just take one of your brothers." he nodded.

"They wouldn't agree to come with me anyways, I've broken too many deals already."

I sighed. Why the hell did I fall for THIS dude?

"Okay fine. If it weren't for your lying ass I would've told Asmo to dress as a girl to go with you just so I don't have to." I said as I brushed my hair.

"Ew, gross!" he laughed. "You know he would've done so without asking!!" he walked towards the door. "Class starts in 20 so you might want to hurry up,"

"Look at you, reminding me of my responsibilities when you ignore yours."

"I'm just saying!!" he yells at me as he walks out the door. I smile to myself whilst changing clothes, "Oh Mammon, what am I gonna do with you..."

I walk to the dining room to see almost all of the brothers seated. The only demons who aren't there are Belphie, Mammon, and Lucifer, whom I could easily guess the reasons for their absence. But Levi, Satan, and Asmo seem surprisingly happy on this sluggish morning. I wonder why.

When I took a seat Levi bursts out laughing out of nowhere. "Huh??"

"BAHAHA OMG ROFLLLLL" Levi laughed. Asmo tries, and fails horribly, at holding in his laugh.

"What's so funny?" I ask.

"Oh gosh, MC, you should've SEEN it!!" Asmo says as if that would tell me anything. "Levi and Asmo tricked Mammon earlier." Satan explained whilst smiling widely.

"Hey, you joined in too, Satan!" Asmo added.
"Oh yeah, I did. It looked fun." Satan said. "We tricked Mammon into thinking you died early in the morning."

"IT WAS HILARIOUS, ASMO FAKE CRIED AND EVERYTHING!!" Levi laughed even more.

"And what was his reaction?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Oh, he was sad!!" Asmo told me. "Actually, sad is an understatement. Mammon was SOBBING! He was full-on DEVASTATED; at first, he wasn't but as soon as it got to him, he ran to your room in tears!!" Asmo said before laughing again.

Well, I'd sure hope so. He didn't even look as sad when he entered my room. Maybe my eyes were still adjusting? Do I need to get my eyes checked?

"You guys, I think you went a little overboard.." I tried to tell them without bursting their bubble. "You know what, you guys went really overboard! That's not even a prank, that's just being a dick!" I gave up on trying to be subtle. My patience in a nutshell.

  "Aww, what do you mean, MC? We all had our laughs! What's the harm in having a little fun?" Asmo said.
"That's the thing, the only people having fun are you three! It's not funny playing around with people's emotions like that!" I tried to reason with them. They don't know what goes on through the dude's mind, so they have no business stressing him out like that! That's when Mammon finally walked in to have his breakfast. I started eating to shut myself up.

  "Whatever you say, MC~." Asmo said before eating. Are brothers always like this, or is it just this particular bunch??

  I got up and grabbed my stuff to leave. Not out of rage, I just didn't feel like eating that much. I'll just let Belphie or Beel pick at my food, no big deal.

Off to RAD I go...

«•αυƚԋσɾ'ʂ ɳσƚҽ•»
update: IK THIS IS RLLY OOC IT GETS BETTER I PROMISE

heya!! uh, i kinda got a lot to unpack here;; thanks for reading first of all! both my authors note and this book! this is actually my first REAL x reader fanfic. last time i wrote one i never updated it lmao; i'm hoping i can make at least a decent story out of this. i'm just trying to focus more on the plot and the fluff, cause ik y'all want them butterflys in ur stomach lmao

that being said, i might make quite a few mistakes such as spelling errors and grammar mistakes, so if y'all see anything that looks wrong and maybe it bothers you or you're just trying to help me make the perfect fanfic, it'd be great if you could point that out to me! don't worry, i won't take it personally or get offended cause i completely understand!

one last thing, don't be afraid to comment!! i love seeing what y'all have to say it entertains me a lot! so please don't hesitate!

jeez that was a bit too long;; srry this is (hopefully) the only time i'll be talking a lot in the author's note;; i'm planning on making the chapters longer too, so hopefully that makes things better.

thank you,
-t.b.