a brand new lifestyle | noah beck ✰

nine ✰

lawson

"oh my god lawson. please wake up. please" i could hear him talking but i couldn't open my eyes. there was a piercing sound going through my head and it was making head feel like it was splitting open.

maybe it was.

"lawson please." the last shake was hard. my eyes opened a little and i could see a small sliver of light. i tried to lift my head up but it hurt so bad. "what happened?" i tried to say but it came out as a whisper. "we were in an accident. 911 is here already." blake said. "i can't move." i said. "i know. it's okay." he said.

"ms.riley can you hear me?" a woman asked me prying open my door. "yes"  "okay we are going to get you out of here. It's probably going to hurt but it'll be okay. just stay with us. " she said. she took one of my arms and started to pull me up placing one hand on my neck, it felt like my head was going to break off and roll onto the middle of the highway. "stay with us ms. riley" the woman said again. "it-it hurts" a single tear fell my eye and she pulled me out of the car. "on my count pick her up and put her on the gurney, ready 1-2-3" that was it. everything went black and my body felt numb.

__________

beep beep beep

what is that god awful noise.

once again i cracked open my eyes only letting a sliver of light come in. they itched. i pulled my arm up, wires. i'm attached to wires.

"lawson baby are you awake?" mom?
i opened my eyes fully. that's a first. i looked around. white walls, white floors, white sheets and a white blanket. i was in the hospital, so i was alive.

"mom?" i asked. she sat on the side of the bed grabbing my hand. "are you okay baby? oh my god. your dad and sister are just down the hall getting something to drink. how do you feel?" she asked. "like i've been ran over." she glared at me. "not funny. you weren't too far away from that." she said. "how'd you get here so fast. the accident just happened a couple hours ago." i asked. "law, you've uh, you've been in a coma for a week." no. no i haven't. "are you lying to me. are you trying to make this sound dramatic or something?" i asked. my dad and sister came walking through the door. My sister running and hugging me. "oh my god lawson..i'm so happy you're awake." i smiled a little. i missed her. "me too sadie. i missed you so much ." i said. "i missed you more. i'm glad you're okay." she replied letting go of me and taking a seat on the end of my bed. "i'm so glad you're okay sweetie. we were starting to get worried. even the doctors, speaking of them. do they know she's awake?" he asked my mom. she shook her head and he left to go let them know.

they came back in a few minutes later. a man in a white coat with a clipboard walked back in with my dad. "hello ms. lawson! glad to see you're awake. how are you feeling?" he asked me. "i feel... okay i guess given the circumstances." i said. he let out a small laugh. "that's good to hear. we are gonna give  you some fluids. we had to do emergency surgery on you when got here and we had to run some tests but the results are back yet, so we're going to have to run some more and we'll keep a good eye on you for a little bit and then you should be able to go home soon " he said smiling at me and my family. "thank you." he nodded and backed out of the door.

"i know noah is dying to see you, so we are going to go to the hotel and wash up now that we know you're awake and we will come back as soon as we get done. that whole waiting room out there is  here for you lawson you have some amazing friends." my dad said. i smiled. "how's blake?" i asked. "he's good, he had a few cuts and bruises but he was discharged a couple of days ago. he should be in the waiting room with everybody else." he said. they kissed me on the forehead, each one of them and then left. noah coming in a few minutes later.

he smiled at me and i saw a tear fall from his puffy red eyes. he grabbed my hands and gave me a huge kiss on the cheek. i smiled. "i've never been more excited to see you." he said. "me too. i honestly didn't think i was ever going to again. the way i felt when they got me out of the car was way worse than anything i could ever imagine." i said. he looked down. "i know it was. i'm so sorry you had to go through that. if it wasn't for me hanging out with dixie you would've have even wanted to go on that drive. this is all my fault." i sat up in my bed. "no. don't say that again. that's not true at all. this is not your fault. we had no idea this was going to happen." i said. "it's true though." he said letting more tears fall. "stop." i said. "this past week of not knowing if you were going to wake up or not was the hardest thing i've ever been through." noah said.

there was a knock at the door followed by my doctor coming back in. "hey guys. just stopping in to tell you some news. we got one of your tests back and it looks here like you were pregnant. you were about 5 weeks along. did you know about this?" my mouth fell open. this is not what i was expecting him to say. "n-no i didn't actually. how's that even possible. i'm on birth control and i just had a period about two weeks ago. sorry that was too much information." i said. "you know that's actually very common. Sometimes birth control pills can make you have a period even though you're pregnant. i do have to say that due to the stress and trauma that your body has gone through, you did lose the baby." he said. i don't know how to handle this. i really don't.

i looked at noah and his head was in his hands. i heard him sniffling and i started to cry also. "i'll let you two be alone. i'll be right outside in the hallway if you guys need anything, and i am so sorry for your loss." he said. i looked at noah again. "did you know this?" i asked him. he looked at me, tear stained cheeks, and swollen eyes. "no. i'm so sorry lawson." "this isn't your fault noah. i was out parting and living my best life. i had no idea. i'm so reckless" i said. "you didn't know either. don't blame yourself for something you didn't know about." he said. "don't blame yourself for something you had no control over either." i said to him. he crawled onto the bed next to me and he held me. i cried onto his chest not really know what to do in this situation i felt very helpless. "i love you lawson riley." noah said to me. "i love you noah beck." i whispered.