We Were Dreamers

Because I'm Happy

Chapter 9

"I find you in storms

I feel you in the lightning

I miss you in rain"

After that Friday, I never went to the park again. It had been exactly three months. Three months of living hell. I had absolutely nothing to look forward to. Zero. Nada. Being alive in itself was a punishment.

I still dreamt of another life. Where we could all be happy. But obviously that life only existed in my dreams. I missed Landon a little too often. A little too much and a little more everyday but I had given up hoping. In the beginning I liked pretending that he would come get me someday and everything would be okay but now I knew better. He just wasn't coming.

Every inch of my body except my face and hands and some other parts were covered with scars and bruises. It hurt to move sometimes but I tried not to let it bother me. They would heal after all. They were just physical. Despite everything that I was going through, I worked desperately hard at school. It seemed to be the only way out I had.

~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

One evening after school, almost four months since I had last seen Landon, Daddy had to travel for a few days. He was going to Toronto on business. He worked hard at his real job. How else do you think he managed to keep a huge house and keep us well fed? I guess many rich people had creepy secrets like his. Well apparently money had no use for me. I would gladly give it away for the chance of a normal life.

I had exams that week so I took advantage of his absence and stayed an extra three hours in school. I told Mamma and she did not mind. I had a lot of reading to do. I needed to have a perfect grade so that I could apply for scholarships and hope to get away from here. It was almost darkening when I decided to take a little break. I was exhausted. I still had some more time to go so I figured a short walk wouldn't harm me.

I left my stuff in the school library and told the librarian, Mrs. Raychel, that I would be back soon. I pulled my hoodie over my head and walked towards the park. No one would be able to tell it was me because it was too dark to be able to see the telltale strands of long red hair that stuck out of the hood. It was almost too dark to see anyone at the park.

I walked to the bench where Landon and I used to sit. It felt like it had just been yesterday. Oh, where does the time go? If I could close my eyes, I could get the exact feeling I had had not so many months ago. Feeling the warmth radiating off Landon's body, the smell of pinecones he always carried, and the feeling that he gave me-like I could fly, like I could do anything.

I stood up and went over to the pond. I sat at my boulder for a few minutes. The sound of the water sloshing over the rocks was very soothing.

I felt a hand over my back. I stood and turned around with a start and found myself face to face with him. I'd recognize those blue eyes anywhere. Landon! Oh no! This could not be happening. I made as if to run but he held my hand.

"Oh no you don't. You won't run away from me this time, Marissa."

Landon, please, you're hurting me," I lied so that he would leave me. He loosened his grip but did not let go. Dang it. There was no way out.

He led me to the bench and ordered me to sit. I sat. He sat beside me. I felt as if I was dreaming.

"Marissa, talk to me, please. Why did you leave? For months I have not known what to do. I'm going crazy. I would come here everyday hoping that you would come back but you never did," he put his hand up and pulled out a tendril of my hair and let it fly loose. " Did I do anything wrong? I wanted to come over to your house but I thought I might have gotten you into trouble or something...okay. " He stopped, hesitated. "Your turn now. Talk." He ordered.

I did not know what to say. He cared about me after all. Oh Landon. I just took a deep breath and said, " It was for our own good, believe me. I will tell you everything someday when the timing is right but for now you have to believe me on this one."

"Marissa, Marissa, you really don't know how much you mean to me, do you?"

" I thought you didn't care..."

"I came here and waited for you every single day for four months and you say I didn't care? I must have painted a hundred paintings of you and they're all over my room. And you say I didn't care? Want to see how much I care?" He asked, imploringly, his eyes on mine.

I was simply too overwhelmed by the feelings I felt at that moment so I just silently nodded.He put both his hands up and pushed my hoodie off my head, his hands brushing over my hair.

" Oh how I love your hair. I see it in all my dreams," he buried his nose in my hair and inhaled deeply. " What did you do to me, Marissa?"

I stared back at him, green eyes on blue, huge and scared. I had absolutely no idea what was happening. I just knew I did not want him to stop.

"I love your freckles," he went on, kissing me right on the tip of my nose. I scrunched it up at the foreign feeling and felt his lips curve in a smile. "I love your beautiful big eyes," he spoke and kissed each of them in turn. He pulled away for a moment and looked at me. "But most of all, I love you." And with that, he put his hands on either side of my face and kissed my lips.

My hands held on to the collars of his shirt. It was only a short, butterfly touch but in that moment, I knew I felt exactly the same way he did. I knew I would do anything for this boy. He broke the contact, and gazed at my face. My hands were still on his shoulders. I lifted them and ran them through his hair, something I had been dying to do ever since I could remember. It was as silky and soft as I had always imagined it would be.

"I love you, Landon." I whispered and before he could say another word, I was gone.

He did not call me back as I walked away and neither did I turn back once. We both knew this was not goodbye. We both knew I would return. I would return no matter what happened because he now had my heart.

I went to the library and hurriedly packed up. I knew I would not get anymore reading done. I was too overwhelmed. I walked home in a daze, not believing the events that had just taken place. It seemed Mamma was in a good mood too. I could tell because that night she sung a happy piece instead of her usual sad ones.

I looked at myself in my mirror. Beautiful, he had called me. I ran my fingers over my lips. The muscles in my belly quivered at the rememberance. It took me hours to fall asleep that night.

And that night, for the first time ever, I fell asleep with a smile on my lips.