We Were Dreamers

Firsts and Lasts

Chapter 11

"He looked at her the way all girls wanted to be looked at."

-The Great Gatsby.

"Young lady, where have you been until this hour? It's way past your curfew." He spoke calmly. That was the worst. When he was like this, it was the calm right before a storm started.

"I..I..was at school. I had gone to collect a few books because I have to study for my exams next week." I said with a slight smile. I did not think Mamma would have told him anything. So, if he believed me, I was safe.

He stroked his chin with the index finger of his right hand.

"You may think I'm daft, but believe me, I'm not. I don't think you are being completely honest with me but I'm letting you go this time." He said, threateningly.

With that said, he turned in his heel and went and locked himself up in his study.

I heaved a huge sigh of relief.I had thought I was a goner for sure. I went to check on Mamma. She looked relieved to see me safe. I sat next to her and put my head on her laps. She stroked my hair in a slow rhythmic motion with her bandaged hands.

I felt the tears prick the back of my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Mamma. I know you're in this mess because of me. I should never have been born. You would never have had to marry Daddy. You would have been happy." A sob escaped but I tried to be strong. For her. For both of us.

"Shh. My baby girl. My dear, strong Marissa. Don't you know you've been the only joy in my life? You're the most important thing to me and I would do anything to keep you safe."

Her words held hidden promises. She gave me a little kiss on my head. And just like that, the moment was broken. I stood up and went straight to my room and left her sitting alone, as she had countless other nights. I would have sat with her and made her feel better. But when I sat with her, I felt worse. She had totally given up. But I never would. I have so much more to do than to spend my whole life locked up here and wait to get killed so my blood can be used as a sacrifice for a goddamned cult. No way. I was a dreamer. I had dreams and hopes. I had other things planned for myself.

I had a shower and got ready for bed. I turned off the lights and lay in bed in the dark watching the shadows dancing eerily across my ceiling. The fluorescent stars glowed luminously as if they held a life of their own. It was so quiet, I was listening to the sound of my own breathing. I heard a little sound. Like leaves crunching underneath someone's feet. I stilled.

I sat up in bed, heartbeat racing. I heard it again. I stood up and went to the window. The curtains billowed slightly in the gentle breeze. It looked like a scene from a horror movie. The backyard of our house was brightly lit by the full moon night.

I saw him there. Landon. He made my heart race faster, if that was even possible. When he saw me, his beautiful face lit up in a smile. He held up his cellphone and began typing furiously. I heard a beep on mine.

"Will you come down, or should I come up?" He had written.

As badly as I wanted to be with him, I did not think that was a good idea.

"None," I wrote back to him.

"Please. Pretty please." He wrote back with a bunch of sad faces.

He looked up at me beeseechingly and mouthed the word "please".

I sighed. Oh well. I guess a few minutes wouldn't hurt. I was sure no one ever came to check on me when I was asleep anyway. I motioned to the pipe that snaked up the side wall of the house next to my room. He nodded and tucked his cellphone in his pocket. It took him about two minutes to get to the top and into my room.

I was really not dressed to see him. In my pink flannel nightgown and untidy hair, I looked like a middle school kid Yet he looked at me with a look that every girl would love to be looked at with, said, "you look beautiful," and planted a kiss on my forehead.

I moved behind a little and crossed my arms across my chest. "So, why are you here?"

"Is it so wrong to want to see you?"

"Landon," I sighed. "Even after knowing how my father is, you just won't stay away, will you?"

"Marissa, I don't care what happens, you have my heart." He whispered, his breath warm and sweet on my face.

I sat on the edge of my bed and pulled him next to me. I lay my head on his chest. "Just sit next to me for a while please. Don't go yet."

He laughed evilly . "Exactly what I had in mind," I playfully punched his arm and put my head back where it was.

He just sat there and talked to me softly. I loved listening to the rumbling sound in his chest when he spoke.

He was running his fingers through my hair and telling me about the time when he almost shaved off all of Allison's eyebrows. But I was not listening. I was thinking. I was thinking about how happy I was at that time. And in that one moment, I would not have changed a single detail about my life. But I couldn't help thinking. What of this was all we had? What if there was no other time?

"Marissa, you're crying, did I do anything wrong? " He asked, lifting my face up so that my eyes met his.I hadn't even realized I was crying. I took a deep breath and looked him deep in his eyes. His lovely eyes glittered like sapphires in the pale moonlight. They held so many unspoken desires and promises.

"Landon, I want you to love me," I whispered boldly and without waiting for an answer, I stood up.

I went to the door and locked it. I stood with my forehead against the cool wood hoping for the best. Then I turned around.

His face was inches from mine.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

I nodded. I took his hands and put them on my waist. "There's no turning back now," I smiled bravely. He pulled me into his arms. " I love you , Marissa."

I pulled his shirt up and over his head and drunk in the sight of his heavenly body. He was magnificent. Perfectly shaped with only a little smattering of hair on his chest. He was every girl's dream and yet again, I wondered what he was doing with someone like me. Trying hard, I pushed away all negative thoughts and focused on him.

He filled all my senses. My thoughts. My heart. I was intoxicated with his love. And he was intoxicated with mine. We were perfectly perfect in our little piece of heaven.

~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

After that night, I knew that even if I never saw Landon again, there was a part of him that would always be with me. I gave him me. Myself as a whole. And he accepted me. Exactly as I was. I don"t think I could have asked for anything more.

The details of that night are but a memory in my mind. A memory that will forever live with me. And perhaps it will always be our little secret.

~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

Landon was still in my room. It had been about an hour or so. So much for letting him stay for a few minutes. I was in his arms. And he was holding me. The moment was too good to break by telling him to leave. I could not just tell him to leave after he had made me so happy. After I had given him the biggest gift of all. Something that was most importand and sacred to me; my innocence.

It was my first time obviously. I had no idea how to react. Were we supposed to talk? Or pretend it never happened? I had no idea what to do so I just shut up and let it all take its course. Landon did not say anything either so I assumed I was doing the right thing. He just kept stroking my hair and occasionally my hands.

"Landon, I..." i turned around in his arms to look at him.

He put his finger on my lips. "Shhh.." I automatically shut up.

I lay my head on his chest, listening to his breathing until it evened out and I knew he was asleep. I looked at his sleeping face. He looked so much like an angel. I planted a tiny kiss on his cheek. "I love you , Landon. Always have. Always will." I whispered to him though I knew he couldn't hear.

And that night, for the first and last time, I fell asleep in his arms.